The Voice in my Head
by FrancoGamerxz
Summary: The night after the scroll incident, Naruto happens to meet someone that changes his life for the better. This person just so happens to be a literal voice inside of his head. Now, with the company and support of his fuzzy tenant, what changes will come to Naruto, and to the Shinobi World in general? Rated M for possible future intense violence, language and sexy shenanigans.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

 **Heya folks, FrancoGamerxz here, coming at you with something different. While my ideas on Uzumaki Chronicles buffer and the pieces start falling into place, I decided to try to do something a bit different than that.**

 **I got the inspiration for it all of a sudden, so I'm going to write about it. If I end up enjoyiyng it, I may continue to write it, and do so parallel to Uzumaki Chronicles, If I don't, I'll probably leave it up for adoption.**

 **Anyways, with that out of the way, Let's go!**

 _ **~Story start~**_

 **-Naruto's apartment, bedroom, night-**

Lying down on his bed, Naruto couldn't help but think back on the day's events. From failing the academy test, to learning that he was the vessel of the Nine-tailed fox, to beating the crap out of Mizuki with his new jutsu and getting Iruka's headband, it was a rollercoaster of emotions.

He looked to his bedstand, seeing the somewhat beat up, nicked , and scratched forehead protector that was Iruka's, a warmth blossoming in his chest.

' _Iruka-sensei believes in me. That means I can't let him down! I'll become the most awesome ninja around, and then they'll have no choice but to elect me as Hokage!_ '

With those thoughts in mind, Naruto slowly fell asleep, thinking about the genin team selection that was about to happen in two weeks.

 _ **-?-**_

His eyes snapping wide open, Naruto found himself lying down on running water. Sitting up in shock, he looked around to try to ascertain what happened.

"What? Is this a sewer? How the hell did I get in here?"

Standing up, the blonde gave the grimy, filthy walls a cursory look, before looking down at the water that reached his ankles. Looking up, Naruto saw two sets of pipes, a cluster of arm-thick pipes, with a glowing blue... something... shining from them, and a single, thicker pipe, leaking some red water from a few points.

His focus was pulled by what sounded like a massive gust of warm air coming from the end of a tunnel. Walking towards it out of curiosity, Naruto found himself crossing through various different pathways, the red pipe always in sight of him, as the gust became warmer, and more regular. Soon enough, it even sounded like...

' _Breathing? What the hell is big enough for it's breath to do this?_ '

A gigantic cage came into sight for Naruto, two huge, grated doors, taller than the Hokage mountain, with only a piece of paper in the middle with the Kanji for "seal" on them.

A sense of trepidation started creeping through Naruto's veins as he thought about the possible things that would be: A) Big enough for it's breaths to create a gust of wind; and B) Big enough to require these doors to keep it locked away.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as the possible suspect list started shrinking the more he thought about it...

Until a single, massive red eye opened right in front of him.

Naruto's blood froze. His suspicions were confirmed by that. He was in terrible amounts of danger, and there was nothing he could do to save himself.

" **Come closer, brat...** "

Against his better judgement, and his mind shouting negatives and expeletives freely, Naruto found his legs obeying the command, making him get closer and closer to the cage.

Closer.

Closer even.

When he was nose-to-cage, he was surprise by a massive, wicked grin, gleaming, white, sharp teeth spread wide open, a pair of slit, burning red eyes, and a snout that kept blowing hot air at him.

The massive face lowered, the snout almost poking his chest, the eyes forcibly keeping Naruto's horrified attention...

" **Boo!** "

"GAH!"

The blonde threw himself backwards, landing on his ass, before trying his best to crawl away from the cage, while a massive 9-tailed fox was revealed by a massive light shining upon the cage, a pair of oddly anthropomorphic arms wrapped around it's sides as it laughed uproariously.

" **HAHAHAHAHA! YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, BRAT! HAHAHAHAHA!** "

Knowing a prank when he saw one, and hearing the sound of laughter, Naruto's fear changed to irritation, and then anger.

"YOU! YOU ATTACKED THE VILLAGE 12 YEARS AGO! YOU'RE THE REASON THE FOURTH DIED! YOU'RE THE REASON EVERYONE HATES ME!"

It's laughter dying off, the fox lowered it's head towards the blonde, raising an eyebrow before speaking.

"Am I, really? Are you sure?"

"Of course I am! Everyone knows this!"

The foxe's eyebrow rose further as it kept speaking.

"Just like everyone 'knows you're the _Kyuubi_ '?"

That one shut Naruto up, but the nine-tailed fox kept speaking.

"Always keep this in mind, kid: If you weren't there, then don't make hasty decisions. There are two sides to every story, learn from both before making a choice. And yes, I was one of the factors involved in the fourth's death, but there's a bigger story there that you're not even remotely prepared to listen to, so I won't tell it to you.

And last, but not least, I didn't make anyone hate you. Remember, I've been locked in here ever since you were a baby, I had no way of leaving this place. If I couldn't even leave this place, then I had no chance to go into people's homes at night and whisper in their ears ' _Hate Uzumaki Naruto_ '.

No. People hated you because they _wanted_ to. They _chose_ to hate you, despite the fact that you were the only thing standing between them and their possible destruction. They claimed to love the fourth so much, yet they couldn't even trust his most masterful piece of work that cost him even his life to make. So don't try to attribute someone else's guilt to me. You, more than anyone else, should know how bad that is."

Naruto's head hung in shame, the thoughts and memories moving through his head, before a question sprung to his mind.

"Where... are we?"

" **This, brat** " the fox said with a smirk " **Is your mind. Well, not your** _ **mind**_ **exactly. More like, a physical representation of your mind. It's called a mindscape.** "

"So, this is my mind, huh... Looks like a dump."

" **Hey, you said it, not me.** "

Sweatdropping lightly, Naruto turned back towards the fox.

"Now what?"

" **...Now what, what?** "

Shrugging, Naruto spoke in a questioning tone.

"Isn't now the time where you start spouting out death threats, slamming into the bars of the cage in an attempt to get out of here, try to make a deal for my soul, anything of the sort?"

" **...You really have an overactive imagination, kid. Why would I spout death threats and slam into the bars when I know that the best result possible would be me getting a massive migraine? And who the hell said anything about me making deals for souls? That's the Shinigami's turf, not mine.** "

"...But don't you want to get out? I mean, a cage in a sewer can't be the most comfortable place."

" **It isn't, really, but I'm just trying to enjoy the fact that I'm no longer chained to a flaming rock floating in an empty clearing, incapable of even scratching an itch at the tip of my nose. And inside this cage, I don't have to worry about any assholes with a mutated pink-eye showing up in my home, calling me a thoughtless beast and trying to make me a slave to fight against his woody buddy, all because he got traded off for a redheaded vixen.** "

At Naruto's questioning look, the fox could only sigh and wave one of it's hands.

" **Long story, maybe you'll hear it someday, but that's not what's important now.** **What is important is the fact that you have to get stronger.** "

"What."

" **Are you deaf? I said you have to get stronger.** "

"I know you said that, but... why?"

" **Because this is as comfortable as I've been in about 80 years, or more. When I'm outside, I have to constantly deal with groups of humans showing up at my dens, trying to subjugate me, treat me like an animal, and a weapon, and so on and so forth.**

 **As long as I'm in here, I don't have to worry about any of this. And seen as you Uzumaki people are long-lived as all hell, added to the circumstances of your birth... Well, you'll be around for a long time. Long enough to possibly dissuade people from trying to mess with me once you** _ **do**_ **kick the bucket.** "

"The circumstances of my birth? YOU KNEW MY PARENTS?"

" **No, I didn't** _ **KNOW**_ **your parents. I know** _ **of**_ **your parents...** "

Naruto shot the Kyuubi a hopeful look, unknowingly activating the **puppy-dog eye no jutsu** \+ **pouting, tembling lip of doom no jutsu** combo, causing the fox to actually have to avert it's eyes from the child.

' _ **Must. Resist.**_ '

" **N-No, I can't tell you about them...** "

Seeing Naruto's dejected look, the fox cursed itself internally for it's soft heart, before ammending.

" **Yet. It'd be dangerous for you to know right now. But, if you prove to me that you're ready, both by becoming strong in body, mind, and maturity, then I'll tell you everything I know about them.** "

Naruto's eyes actually light up with flames, something that somewhat disturbed the fox, yet it chalked up to the excentricities of it's host's mind, before Naruto spoke with conviction.

"Then I'll become as awesome, strong, smart and mature as fast as I can! I won't disappoint you, Kyuubi-sensei!"

' _ **Kyuubi-sensei?**_ '

Sweatdropping at that, the fox could only say one thing.

" **The name ain't Kyuubi, kid. It's Kurama.** "

Naruto responded by nodding resolutely at the fox.

"Kurama-sensei!"

 _ **-The following day morning, training field 16-**_

' **Okay Brat, the first step to become a proper shinobi is to learn the basics. You should've been taught those in your academy, but you didn't, due to a combination of sabotage, negligence, and your lack of focus and attention. We're going to correct this.** '

' _Okay, I can understand that, but how am I going to learn 4 years of academy work in 2 weeks?_ '

' **Kid, I'm glad you asked. You may not have noticed, but you've pretty much got the solution to all your training-related problems almost literally at the tip of your fingers.** '

' _I do? I mean... Yeah, of course I do!... Er, and what does that happen to be, Kurama-sensei?_ '

The chakra beast could only facepalm at his container's idiocy, before answering.

' **You know that technique that you learnt last night, that allowed you to make hundreds of clones of you and become a shinobi?** '

' _You mean the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu?_ '

' **Yes, that same one. Well, it doesn't just create an ocean of orange-clad eyesores-** '

' _HEY!_ '

' **-no, there's also a secondary feature that you might not have noticed. Whatever a clone learns, you learn as well, meaning-** '

' _That I can make a clone of myself, and the two of us train at the same time, and when It dispells, I learn twice as much in the same time!_ '

' **Wow, color me impressed brat, you caught on quick. But no, that's not exactly it. You see, you're a special case, both because you're an Uzumaki, and because you're my container. The shadow clone jutsu is a B-rank forbidden jutsu for two reasons. One, it's chakra cost can lead experienced jounin to their knees due to chakra exhaustion after a single use, and two, the backlash of dispelling too many at once can liquify a person's brain.** '

Naruto paled instantly, the thought of a liquified brain not at all attractive to him. Before he could swear to limit his use of Shadow Clones, however, Kurama spoke up.

' **As I previously said, being both an Uzumaki, and** _ **my**_ **container specifically makes you a special case. Your chakra capacity allows you to toss shadow clones around like candy without feeling it, and my chakra allows you to recover from the backlash even as it occurs, which means that that isn't a problem either.**

 **Something else that I theorized about after our talk, and that we should check out, is the fact that you can use my chakra when making clones. If you load my chakra into a clone, and have that clone make further clones, then those clones can dispell to spread the information to the first clone, he can sort it out, deal with the backlash, improve upon his own training before spawning more. By the time he's out of chakra, the improvements should be tremendous, and they'll return to you already organized.**

 **What that means is that we can increase your growth rate not arithmetically, as would be the case usually, but exponentially!** '

' _...Huh?_ '

Kurama could only sigh in exasperation and shake his head, having to simplify everything for the child.

' **You use red chakra in clone, clone be strong. Strong clone make clone, strong clone's clone learn much, disappear, strong clone learn, make more clone, repeat. When strong clone not so strong, he disappear, you learn much. If you make 5 strong clone, each do this, you learn much very fast.** '

Naruto's eyes widened in realization at that.

' _Oh wow, If I have all of these clones running around the village-_ '

' **Not so fast, kiddo. The one true limitation that the clones pose for you is that the can't help you increase in physical strength. They can work in muscle memory, chakra control, learning, a lot of things, but they don't transfer over physical increases. You'll have to work on those on your on.**

 **While we're in this subject, you need to eat less ramen. The reason you're a shrimp is because all you eat is ramen, day in, day out. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. Were you anyone else, right now you'd either be suffering from scurvvy, hypertension, obesity, diabetes and/or all sorts of related diseases.**

 **If you want to grow stronger, and taller, then you need to get variety in your diet. Fruits, vegetables, grain, various types of meat, all that jazz.** '

' _...But I can't even buy food properly. The prices are way too high._ '

' **Kid, the shopkeepers have been pricegouging you. And you, being an idiot, never even thought of trying to shop under a Transformation, did you?** '

Naruto's gaping wide mouth was enough response for Kurama, who could only rub his forehead, his thoughts less than flattering.

' _ **Of course he didn't... Why did I have to get stuck with the Idiotic container again? I doubt any of my siblings have to deal with this kind of thing.**_ '

' **Anyways, now that you know how to get into places where you couldn't, and to not get fucked over by scumbags, you should start with the library. Make normal clones, send them to the library under transformation at unever periods, have them the** _ **unnedited**_ **version of your various academy books, and a few books on interpersonal relations, chakra, bodybuilding and weapons.** '

Naruto obeyed by making a cross with his fingers, a cloud of smoke depositing 50 copies of him, before each of them transformed into a different, non-descript individual with different characteristics, and went around the village, some of them heading straight towards the academy, others heading for various shops to get his groceries, and one group heading back home to tidy up his room.

' **Okay, now that that's done, we go to step two:**

 **LOSE THE ORANGE!** '

Glaring at nothing, since he was incapable of glaring at the fox inside his gut, Naruto opened his mouth to respond instantly, only to be interrupted.

' **Naruto, think instead of reacting. One of your strong suits is stealth. You managed to paint the Hokage monument in broad daylight, and you were only noticed when you wanted to. You took down the Hokage, stole the scroll of seals,and then evaded detection or capture from basically all village-bound shinobi!** '

' _And I did it perfectly well in these threads!_ '

' **I know, and I acknowledge that, Naruto, but just imagine. If you can get away with doing those things as an orange beacon, imagine just how** _ **better**_ **you'll be when wearing stealth-adequate clothing!** '

Noticing that Naruto was about to crack, Kurama went for the kill.

' **We can even keep some orange in your outfit through trims, and edges.** '

Sighing out loud, the blonde spoke in a downtrodded tone.

' _Okay, Kurama-sensei._ '

' **Good. Now step three, make 5 clones powered by my chakra, have each of them make 5 clones, and have those train in things that you can use. One series of clones will work only on your projectile handling and accuracy, one will work on your Replacement mastery, the other one on your transformation mastery, and the last two will work on chakra control.** '

Crossing his hands together, Naruto felt a burst of energy that felt foreign, yet at the same time familiar, flowing into him. With a cry of "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!", the clearing now had 10 extra Narutos.

Scratching the back of his head while laughing sheepishly, Naruto thought to Kurama.

'Guess my chakra control was worse than we thought, no?'

' **Indeed. I guess we get to double the numbers in training, then.** '

'And what about the original me?'

' **The original you is going down and doing pushups.** '

Mentally saluting the fox, knowing that he usually completed all the sets in the academy, Naruto 'spoke' up confidently.

'This is gonna be easy, Kurama-sensei. How many do you want me to do? 20? 50?'

' **Do pushups until I say stop.** '

The blonde blanched at that, while the fox continued speaking.

' **I'll take a small nap here, but that doesn't mean you should cheat. I'll know if you do, and I'll force you to start all over again!** '

And so, Naruto's torture began.

 _ **~Chapter End~**_

 **Okay, parallel project. Tell me what you think.**


	2. Decisions and Goals for the Future

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

 _ **~Story, Start~**_

 _ **-3 Days Later-**_

' **...Okay Brat, you can stop your pushups now.** '

Naruto didn't need further confirmation. As soon as Kurama told him to stop, he allowed his arms to fall away from under him, before turning himself over to his back, taking deep, plentiful breaths.

'You... Sadistic... Bastard!'

' **Yeah, yeah, you've said that before. Now go down and do your crunches, and no complaining!** '

'Yeah yeah, you freaking slave driver.'

As the blonde did his crunches, he complained to his mental roommate.

'You know, I haven't really seen a difference from the first day until now. Do you think it'll make a difference in 2 weeks, when it isn't right now?'

' **Don't worry, Naruto, I know what I'm doing. I haven't begun helping your recovery yet, these first three days were just to measure the limits of your body. Strength, stamina, caloric consumption, all that jazz. I wanted to know what makes you tick, so that I know what exactly I need to change.**

 **I've got a rough feeling about the work that I can truly do now, though, so you don't have to worry about a lack of results. What you** _ **do**_ **have to worry about is the fact that your groceries are going to skyrocket in price.** '

'What do you mean?'

' **You'll be eating, a lot. And before you start firing off rockets, it can't be all ramen. Hell, it'll rarely be ramen. You're going to be eating lots of meat, both red and white, fish, poultry, legumens, grain, fruit, milk and eggs. In conjunction with the exercise regimen you'll undergo, my influence and your Uzumaki heritage, you'll recover to what you should have been body-wise had you grown up normally, and even more.**

 **Until your body is stable in this regard, you'll have to be eating constantly to make sure your caloric intake and your blood sugar levels are high enough for you to not spend your entire days as a zombie, or randomly pass out, so I'd advise you to carry around obscene amounts of fruit with you whenever you're not training or sleeping.**

 **Also, your hair and nails are going to be growing and strengthening, so keep a nail file handy.** '

'Wait, why are my hair and nails going to grow? That seems so random.'

' **With your body constantly consumming and processing nutrients, there will be an increased amount of waste generated. While the thought of you spending 12 hours a day locked inside a bathroom, causing untold amounts of damage to the infrastructure of Konoha's sewer system is amusing, having you spend so much time away from training would be counterproductive. So, I'm going to be directing as much of the excess possible into your hair and nails.** '

'Ah. I get it now. Well, I've been feeling hungrier since I started working out like this, so maybe that's not so bad.'

' **Glutton.** '

'And proud of it, -ttebayo!... Say, can I stop-'

' **No, you cannot stop with the crunches yet.** '

 _ **-5 days after the scroll incident, Naruto's apartment-**_

The blonde tossed a thoroughly eaten apple core at his now-clean apartment's waste basket, with the basket so full of fruit leftovers that it was about to burst.

'Oh man, if I knew fruit could be so good, I'd have been eating it all along! The first few times I ate fruit they were always sour apples, so I thought that they were all like that!'

' _ **...The idea of blasting this wretched village of hairless apes to kingdom come sounds more and more pleasant with each passing minute.**_ ' were the giant foxe's thoughts at that sentence.

5 days.

The boy and the fox had been communicating for all of 5 days, and in those 5 days, Kurama had progressed from someone that cared about their container's strength for the sake of not being bothered again, to someone who care about their container's strength so that his container didn't die a messy and painful death.

5 days were all it took for Naruto's irritating, naive and idiotic, yet sometimes deeply insightful, genuine and honest demeanor to burrow it's way into Kurama's heart. Now, whenever it noticed an instance of Naruto getting shafted, instead of simply thinking something along the lines of ' **Tough shit, kid, sucks to be you** ', his thoughts went directly towards righteous anger on behalf of the blonde.

So, he decided to actively help him.

After all, harboring such deep attachments to the people who've fucked him over, time and time again, wasn't natural. It wasn't healthy. And Kurama wasn't going to accept an unhealthy host.

' **Your body's condition has been improving much faster, and more than I expected, so I have to tinker a bit more with your physical values. This means that for today you will not be physically training yourself, or using chakra. No, today you'll be reading this book.** '

Which is why Naruto was sitting on his living room table, gazing at a book titled ' _Loving yourself: The key to success_ '.

While normally Kurama would find this kind of self-help 'literature' a bunch of hogwash, concocted by people who want to earn money by writing ambiguous, open-ended bullcrap that allowed people to feel better with themselves despite their many, many flaws and not having to acknowledge that they were trash human beings, with Uzumaki Naruto the situation was the opposite.

The boy had no sense of self-worth to speak of. He talked a big game to hide his insecurities, but in the end he only considered himself as good as everyone else saw him as, which was why he worked so hard to get the acknowledgement of people that actively hated him. That was a dangerous line of thought, which would lead people to do stupid shit. And people who do stupid shit tend not to last long in the shinobi world.

This would not stand.

The first part of his sentence was true, however. Naruto's body _really_ was progressing more than expected. Seems that his Uzumaki inheritage was rearing it's head.

' _ **Should've expected it, really. The Uzumaki were a terrifying bunch. His mother managed to survive me being extracted from her, and then proceed to tie me down with those horrid chains of hers, and throw herself in the way of my claw. And before that, that Mito woman sealed me into her adult body with no negative side-effects.**_

 _ **Speaking of, I should probably introduce Naruto to sealing. With his Uzumaki heritage, and his father's... Expertise... in the art, he probably will be able to use those with his eyes closed.**_ '

While Kurama's thoughts wandered freely, Naruto had, after polishing off another apple - and damn if he wasn't putting them away fast and furious - started reading the book.

' _Chapter 1: "Who are you?"_

 _"Who am I?" This is a question that people usually don't ask themselves. After all, you're you, you know yourself better than any other person._

 _Or do you?_

 _Have you ever taken the time to stop, think, and truly reflect on your identity? On the nature of your existance?_

 _Who are you? What do you want? How do you plan to achieve it?_

 _And, most important of all, "Why do you want it?". Until you manage to answer all these questions, you cannot claim to truly know yourself._ '

Tilting his head questioningly, Naruto put the book aside for a second, making his way to his bathroom mirror and looking at his own reflection.

He looked at one side of his face, then the other, taking close care to notice all of the differences from his previous days. His face had lost some of it's baby fat, giving him a bit more of a defined jawline, his cheeks had raised slightly, his eyes seemed brighter and deeper than ever before. His hair was a bit longer than before, somewhat shaggy in nature, but it was also brighter, and fuller. His whisker marks were a tad bit more distinguished in his admitedly more mature face, giving him a bit of a wild look.

He procceeded by taking a step back and lifting his new, long-sleeved, maroon shirt, critically eyeing his body up and down. He looked a bit beefier, with his clean-cut, defined arms and abdominal muscles, and wider shoulders. Lowering the shirt, the boy proceeded to examine his hands, seeing the newly-created calluses from constant push-ups on the rough ground, pull-ups on treebranches and punches, palms and chops on logs, and he had to admit, the Uzumaki Naruto that he thought he knew, was gone.

' _What do I want? That one's easy, I wanna be the Hokage!... But, why do I want to be the Hokage?_ '

The blonde paused in his answer, thinking on that for a bit, remembering the memories of his clones moving around the village under transformations, being welcomed into shops, marts, bookstores, tailors. Recieving cordial and polite treatment, greetings and smiles from people. Walking around the streets without having looks of hatred directed towards him, and on the odd occasion that they bumped into someone, instead of recieving a sneer or a shout, recieving apologies and light admonishments.

' _Because I want to be acknowledged by everyone!_ _I want people to stop hating me for having Kurama sealed inside of..._ '

Naruto trailed off in his answer, before what Kurama had told him in their first meeting came back to his mind.

 _ **-Flashback-**_

 _'_ _ **I didn't make anyone hate you. Remember, I've been locked in here ever since you were a baby, I had no way of leaving this place. If I couldn't even leave this place, then I had no chance to go into people's homes at night and whisper in their ears 'Hate Uzumaki Naruto'.**_

 _ **No. People hated you because they wanted to. They chose to hate you, despite the fact that you were the only thing standing between them and their possible destruction.**_ _'_

 _ **-Flashback, End-**_

' _But... Do I want to be acknowledged by people who would willingly aim their hatred at me like that? Ever since I was a kid? Despite the fact that I protect them with every breath I take? Despite the fact that they knew about this, even when I was ignorant?_ '

Unable to find an answer to that question, Naruto decided to give himself a break from the book and take a walk around the village. Putting on his new sandals, the blonde locked his door behind him out of habit before making his way out of his apartment. Not having a set objective, the blonde simply joined the foot traffic in the main street. At first, everything seemed okay to him. The change in style had people reeling, with no one really knowing whether it was the ' _Demon_ ' or not, but after someone passed by close enough to notice his whiskers, the curious looks changed to the usual sneers and glares, or worse, they simply let their eyes slide past him as if he weren't there.

Usually, Naruto would respond by showing his much-too-wide grin and ignore the looks, something that had become a natural defense mechanism for the blonde, but after spending so much time - cumulatively, through Shadow Clones - being acknowledged, and treated well by people, he couldn't really ignore it. First, he became sad. Then, sadness gave way to indignation.

And when a man purposely bumped into him, pushing him to the side of the road - though he rubbed his shoulder at the unexpected resistance - the indignation gave way to anger.

His temper boiled over when he felt, more so than heard, a small stone being tossed at his head. Without even giving it a thought, the blonde whirred around abruptly, snatched the rock out of the air, before levelling his best glare at the thrower and cocking his own arm back, retaliating by throwing the stone back at the man, aiming for his gut. Seeing an adult man go down with a single rock toss to his gut had Naruto admitting to the results of Kurama's training on the back of his mind. The rest of his mind, though, was more immediately focused on the matter at hand.

A friend of the man who tossed the rock helped him up, before turning towards Naruto and sneering at the blonde, before speaking.

"What did you do that for, you fucking brat? What right did you have to throw a rock at my friend?"

If the blonde was angry before, now he was absolutely irate.

" _Right_?"

The low, dangerous whisper managed to reach everyone watching the scene.

" _You_ are asking _me_ what right I had to throw a rock _back_ at someone who _threw it at me in the first place_?"

The more he kept speaking, the louder his tone got.

"So your friend decides to attack me, I defend myself, and _I'm_ in the wrong? Is that it? Well fuck that, and fuck you!"

By now the boy was shouting, surprising everyone as he had never retaliated before, not even a glare in response.

"I am tired of this shit! You act like I'm some kind of criminal, some kind of... _monster_ , when _You_ are the group of adults trying to gang up on a single 12-year-old! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Naruto hadn't even noticed, but by now he was putting out quite a bit of killing intent, freezing everyone in place and alerting some of the patrolling ANBU who simply kept watch of the situation, intending on stepping in only if things escalated beyond words.

"You know what? No more! I'm not taking any more of your shit! I am not going to let you push me around, acting like the bunch of sanctimonious bastards that you are, and simply smile it away. If you mess with me, I'll answer in kind!"

Having finished that, and with a scowl now etched on his face, the blonde turned blindly, before stomping off angrily. The ANBU, seeing that no confrontation would occur, went back to their normal patrol for the most part. The exception was the Monkey ANBU, who was part of Naruto's personal guard when he was younger, and had singlehandedly stopped every single attempt at mobbing the young child. The agent, having gained an attachment to the child, decided to report what had happened to the Hokage, worried that something bad enough had happened to Naruto to do away with his sunny disposition.

 _ **-15 Minutes later-**_

' _...I can't believe that I lost my temper like that back there. Where did that come from?... Stupid question, I know exactly where that came from. I thought that the looks weren't that bad anymore, I guess that I was just too used to them._ '

The blonde was so distracted in his own thoughts that he didn't notice the puff of smoke that deposited a Monkey-masked ANBU in front of him. He only took notice of said ANBU when he ran bodily into them, bouncing back lightly.

"Oh man, did I run into a light pole or what... ANBU-san?"

The ANBU operative nodded, before speaking in a tone of voice that was muffled by the mask, making it difficult to know whether it was a male or a female under it.

"Uzumaki-san, after hearing of the altercation between you and a civillian, Hokage-sama has requested your presence."

Crossing his arms and scowling, the blonde muttered.

" _Of course he has._ "

He barely had the time to nod in acknowledgement before a hand was placed on his shoulder, and his stomach reached the back of his throat.

As the blonde hunched over with his hands on his kness, trying his best not to spew his guts all over the floor, an older voice spoke with amusement.

"Yes, the shunshin can be quite disconcerting at first."

Glaring at the old man with no real heat behind it, Naruto spoke between gasps.

"You... Suck... Old... Man."

Hiruzen smirked smugly at that, before speaking up.

"And yet, I'm not the one about to lose my breakfast."

Recovering somewhat, Naruto plopped himself on the chair across from the Hokage's desk, knowing that it had been placed there specifically for him as it wasn't a fixture of the office, before speaking.

"You're just mad 'cuz I beat you with my original jutsu."

A massive sweatdrop appeared on Sarutobi Hiruzen's forehead, before the old man cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Hem, well, that jutsu _is_ quite a dangerous, if not unorthodox weapon. Nice clothes by the way, but I didn't think you'd ever ditch the orange."

"Yeah, well Orange may be awesome, but it isn't really a 'ninja' color, y'know?"

"Indeed?"

"Yeah."

The two settled into a silence, before the blonde spoke up.

"Hey old man... What is it like, being the Hokage?"

Pausing pensively, Hiruzen linked his hands hands together and propped his elbows on the desk, meeting Naruto's gaze searchingly. Raising an eyebrow, the man responded.

"Being the Hokage... It means becoming the protector of the village. It means seeing everyone in it as your family, and doing your best to make sure that they live good lives. Safe lives. By taking on this burden, and responsibility, you ensure that the next generation does not need to. You allow them to live proper, carefree lives, unemcumbered by the weight of this life. But seeing the villagers live happy, full lives... It's worth it."

"Family, huh..."

"Indeed. Naruto... Do you have any issues you want to talk to me about?"

"Not realy..."

"Curious... I'd swear I heard a tale about you throwing stones at civillians."

"Well, the guy started it!"

Sighing tiredly, Hiruzen pinched the bridge of his nose, before speaking.

"Naruto, you're now a shinobi. You can't go around attacking civillians."

"He threw the stone first! Was I supposed to just let him do that without repercussions? Or better, was I supposed to simply allow it to hit me? No, not anymore! I won't let people get away with those sorts of things anymore!"

"Naruto, you need to give them time! They don't understand-"

"It's not my job to make them understand! It's not my responsibility to pay for their ignorance!"

"Naruto, you need to be more patient with people. As Hokage-"

"Old man, how were you treated before you were Hokage?"

Hiruzen paused at the non-sequitur, but Naruto continued before he could answer.

"And I don't mean after you were already a shinobi, I mean when you were just a kid in the academy, or even before that. How did the other villagers treat you?"

"...Well. I was liked by my clanmates, my neighbors, my friends. My parent's friends, their children, and many others. I was a well-liked, popular child, one with many friends."

"I see. Then I don't want to be the Hokage anymore."

Hiruzen choked at that declaration, as did the four ANBU scattered around the room. Managing to overcome his surprise, Hiruzen spoke up.

"I didn't ever think I'd see the day where Uzumaki Naruto gave up."

Scowling at the Hokage, Naruto responded.

"Giving up means that you don't see a way to make things happen, or at least one you're capable of achieving. I could make them love me, I could fight everyday and force them to acknowledge me to the point that they'd make me the hokage. _I simply do not want to anymore._

Why is it that everyone else gets to be treated humanely from the moment they were born, and yet I have to be a hero to even be seen as a person? I was already sacrificed once, these people aren't entitled to further sacrifices!

No. I'm not going to cry, sweat and bleed, only to be put in a position that could force me to sacrifice myself, or the things that I love, to protect people who would so easily gang up on a 12 year old to verbally assault them in public."

At hearing those words, Hiruzen gained a new understanding of Naruto's perspective of his own life, and he couldn't help but feel a minor sense of disgust at his villagers for their actions against an innocent child. That Naruto, the sunny child who just last week was spouting about being Hokage and taking the hat had decided that he no longer wanted the title that literally every other child dreamed of having showed how much this village wore on him. Managing to push those thoughts aside, Hiruzen let out a sigh before adressing Naruto.

"I see. Then, what do you want to do in the future, then? What are your dreams right now?"

Naruto crossed his arms and leaned back into his seat, closing his eyes as he went back through the memories of his conversation with the old man, before going back further towards his talk with Kurama, and then further and further back. Opening his eyes and setting his gaze on the old man, he spoke with conviction.

"I don't really have a major goal right now. I guess I'm just going to keep getting stronger and search for this goal as a shinobi for now. But I know that eventually I want to find someone more people than just you, Teuchi-jiji and Ayame-nee that truly cherish me for who I am, and not what I can do for them, and protect them with all my strength."

Seeing the renewed fire in the boy's eyes as he spoke of his new goals, Hiruzen felt his guilt assuaged, as his village had not broken the child.

' _The will of Fire burns strongly within you, Naruto... You do your parents' legacy justice._ '

The old man spared the blonde boy a soft smile, before speaking up.

"I trust you to achieve your goals, Naruto. I will support you as much as I can, and I hope you remember that I'll always be in your corner."

Hiruzen wasn't surprised when the blonde jumped over the desk to hug him. He was surprised, however, at the new, stronger frame of the boy giving his old bones a good squeeze.

He _was_ , however, surprised by the tears that covered his robes.

"Thank you for being there for me, old man. I'll never forget it."

Hiruzen wrapped his own arms around the child, and let Naruto cry himself out. After about 15 minutes Naruto pulled back, wiping his face clean of tears using his shirt sleeve, before giving the old man another hug, and dashing out of the office, making his way back towards his apartment.

Hiruzen, in his office, could only look towards the framed photo of the smiling Fourth, his thoughts firmly on the child that had just left his office.

' _No matter how much things weigh down on him, Naruto always manages to bounce back in the best way possible. Unlike the response that most would give to his kind of life, Naruto decides to find love, instead of spreading more hate... Yours truly is a remarkable child, Minato, Kushina._ '

 _ **-Streets of Konoha-**_

Naruto once again made his way through the streets, being subjected to glares, scowls and sneers. Unlike his previous actions of pretending not to notice and crafting a close-eyed grin, or blowing up at them and scowling back, Naruto had a small, genuine smile borne out of the fact that he had found a true goal that was worth aspiring towards.

As he made a turn towards his apartment complex, Naruto found the walls of the building covered in graffiti, the words 'Demon', 'Monster' and 'Murderer' being the most proeminently painted on.

Crossing his arms, the blonde shook his head as he clicked his tongue likely.

"This will not do. Not at all."

To the surprise of the watching vandals who smirked happily at the misfortune of the demon and the effort that he'd have to put into taking care of it, Naruto simply crossed his fingers together.

" **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!** "

15 Narutos now stood where there was previously only one. Turning towards his clones, he spoke up.

"You know what to do."

The clones nodded, before moving off. Some of them went to fetch buckets, water, sponges and other cleaning supplies, others were busy walking around the apartment and noting every possible entry and exit point, plans already percolating through his head of the various traps he'd set to make sure people kept outside of his home.

' **Okay, brat, I'm back and I have a better understanding of your body's capabilities now. At the moment, your body is still quite away from it's ideal state, but with me inside of you and your Uzumaki blood, that will be corrected soon enough. As you keep exercising and eating, your body will recover more and more, putting it closer to it's possible best at your age. Your power jumps will be sporadic, and in a few cases, drastic, so you will be eating even more and working even harder, both for development and control. With both your body, mind and skills progressing rapidly, you should've covered enough ground to be, if not ahead, at least at the same level as the best of the best in your class.** '

'I see. Well, scrap your projections, Kurama. We're going hardcore at this, I want to be the best. I'll make sure that I can always protect my precious people, and that when I make new ones, I can protect them as well. That includes protecting you from the people after you, so you should know when I'm strong enough.'

' **I see. Well, brat, since you volunteered for the bootcamp of hell, who am I to say no?** '

Naruto could almost sense the massive, bloodthirsty grin on Kurama's face, but instead of shaking in trepidation, his posture hardened in determination. The old man, Iruka-sensei, Teuchi-jiji, Ayame-neechan, Kurama-sensei... Naruto would protect all of them with his life.

Believe it!

 _ **~Chapter End~**_

 **Hello hello everyone, FrancoGamerxz here, back at it again. Have thoughts on the story? Think it was good, or sucked? Have suggestions? You can leave all of those in the reviews, it's a very handy tool that FFnet has to allow you readers to make contact with content creators. Make use of it as you see fit!**

 **This was me, signing out!**


	3. Fruit, and classroom politics

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

 _ **~Story, Start!~**_

 **-5 Days Later-**

"5654, 5655, 5656..."

Naruto's voice sounded throughout his living room as he went through a set of vertical pushups, his feet balanced perfectly over him.

' _ **The one with the best balance never has to worry about being forced out of position. Uneven footing, shifting floors, heavy strikes, sudden lands, if your balance is superior, you can recover fast enough for those not to matter**_ ' Kurama had told Naruto, before forcing him to run along various fences, treebranches, clothe lines and narrow ledges. The blonde fell on his head more than once doing it, but he had eventually gotten things down.

' **I've been doing some work on your bones, kid.** '

'Mhm?'

' **I've been trying to figure out the best ratio between size and density so that your bones don't snap with your first kick thrown, but so that they don't make you too heavy and make it harder to jump, move fast and float in water. I think I've found the right point, but you'll need good amounts of calcium. Sesame, Cellery, seeds and milk are going to factor more into your diet. Orange in the fruit slot.** '

'My clones are going to take care of it. So, what am I doing after this?'

' **Reading. This time, a book on interpersonal relationships. You need to know how to pick up social cues, it helps both in your personal affairs, and in information gathering from civillians.** '

'Okay...'

' **You can stop now.** '

"6580!"

The blonde jumped back to his feet, instinctively bending his knees for a lowered center of gravity, before standing back upright.

Toweling off his sweat, Naruto sat down at his table, picking up a hardback, black cover book.

' _Tsunderes, Yanderes and traps: The do's and dont's of Romance_. _Sounds interesting..._ '

Shelving away his thoughts, Naruto opened the book and started readin the first chapter.

' _Love. One of the most intense emotions a person can ever feel, love is an emotion that has much impact in history. When you read about military conflicts and wars, you usually read about clanheads vying for territory, seeking power, or the blood of their enemies out of sheer savagery._

 _Well, those that write the history books would most certainly dislike everyone knowing that they caused a mass genocide just because a certain member of the x-clan refused their advances. It would, in their minds, pass the image of weakness. After all, isn't being stoic the hallmark of a strong person, and leader?_

 _NO! WRONG! The strongest people are those that allow themselves to feel, and the best leaders are those that are capable of dealing with the consequences of their actions without forcing themselves to not feel emotions. Running away from your emotions is the biggest and most innefective form of cowardice, as, in the end, they shall catch up with you regardless._

 _That being said, while it is difficult for one to know_ why _they feel something, knowing_ what _one they are feeling is usually easier. That might not mean much, however. After all, lifting one ocean is easier than lifting 5, and yet both are borderline impossible undertakings._

 _(I say borderline because as long as people exist, there also exists the possibility.)_

 _The relative difficulty in identifying both the how's and the why's of emotions are varied, and depend completely on the individual's willingness to look within themselves with a critical eye, with no justifications, excuses or biases shaping their perception of themselves, and the final results..._ '

 **-Hokage's Office-**

Sarutobi Hiruzen leaned away from his desk even as he stopped the chakra flow to his crystal ball, cutting off the remote viewing jutsu he tended to occasionally use to check up on the blond.

' _Naruto truly is working hard to better himself... Heh, he's putting this old man to shame, tackling all of his tasks with enthusiasm and timeliness. I bet he likes reading as much as I like doing paperwork... Well, that changes today. I was chosen as the Third Hokage, and hold the title of The God of Shinobi for a reason! It's time for this old monkey to get back to swinging!_ '

Pressing the button on his intercom, Hiruzen spoke to his secretary.

"Janai-san, clear my schedule for the rest of the day. If any new matters are brought up, tell them to wait until tomorrow."

"Hai, Hokage-sama!"

Nodding at the response, Hiruzen stood up from his seat and stretched, taking care of a creak in his back from sitting in the same position for an extended time period. Crossing his fingers together the man cried out " **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!** " , before signaling his ANBU guard away, enjoying the feeling of a less cramped room after the shadows in the room lightened lightly.

As he moved towards the records office, Hiruzen sensed something. Very faint it might have been, but the chakra signature was still there. In a speed beffiting the God of Shinobi, Hiruzen's hand shot towards the throat of the blankly masked young man that had hidden himself within the plaster wall. Before Hiruzen could do a thing, he heard a small 'Crunch' before the ninja started spasming, with foam flowing down the bottom of his mask.

' _A suicide pill..._ ' Hiruzen thought in disgust, before another thought went through his mind ' _Something smells rotten here... This M.O definitely screams Danzo, and for him to be able to plant an agent in here means that either my ANBU are getting sloppy, or there're holes in my forces. None of those options are satisfactory in the least... I'll get Inoichi, Ibiki, Anko and Dragon to screen my ANBU to make sure I have no leaks, after that I'll have to keep people on Danzo watch..._ '

Disgusted at the thought that Danzo would restart the loathsome ROOT program, the knowledge that the man had gotten enough political backing that his execution for treason without definitive evidence would lead to intense backlash despite the weight of the Hokage's word, and that all of that had happened right under the nose of 'The God of Shinobi', Hiruzen's resolve to get control of things in his village back doubled. He would start with going back through the various archived documents, policies and motions passed ever since Minato's death...

 **-Team selection day, Academy-**

"I-is that... Naruto?"

Kiba's incredulous tone had everyone looking towards the door, jaws falling as they saw the athletic figure clad in a maroon, long-sleeved shirt with orange accents, olive-colored Khaki cargo pants and blue sandals. His hair was spiked on top, and slightly smoother in the back, reaching his neck.

His face was neutral, but it wasn't any attempt at conveying stoicity, or anything of the sort.

' **That sounds absolutely disgusting.** '

'I know, right? Why would you collect someone's hair for a shrine?'

He was simply talking to Kurama. After having a conversation with Kurama while brushing his teeth, Naruto had noticed that he tended to make the odd facial expression. Not wanting to seem crazy, or give his detractors more fuel on the 'demon' front, he forcibly trained himself to stay expressionless whenever talking to Kurama.

Nowadays, with his attempts at getting the attention of random people in the street through speaking at a screaming volume and pulling pranks stopping, and with Kurama taking an instructional role in his life, this happened to be more often than not.

So about 90% of the time Naruto could actually be seen in public, his face was always expressionless. The other 10% were just him walking around his peaceful smile, his sunny disposition never leaving him.

"What're you doing here, Naruto? This is for graduates only."

Despite the fact that Shikamaru said this not mockingly or recriminatingly, but simply out of honest curiosity, the majority of the class took the opportunity to laugh uproariously at that. The blonde's unfocused gaze sharpened and fell straight on Shikamaru, before he answered teasingly.

"Not very good for a genin if you can miss this gleaming, reflective slab of metal on my forehead, Shikamaru."

The laughs of the class were halted by that observation, their eyes travelling towards his forehead and seeing the protector tied around it.

"I know for sure that you didn't have that when we left the academy last week. Mind explaining how this happened?"

"Now now, Shikamaru. We're Shinobi now, you didn't really expect me to give information so easily, did you?"

The pineapple-haired lazy boy mumbled out a 'troublesome' before laying his head back on top of his arms and snoozing. Shrugging past a sweatdrop, Naruto made his way towards his usual seat besides Sasuke, not mindful of the various curious and interested looks turned towards him.

Sitting down with nary a fuss, Naruto pulled an apple out of... Somewhere... Before ravenously munching on it. Then, he followed with an orange.

At first, no one really paid attention, but everyone was soon watching when he whipped out a full-sized pineapple at the 15 minute mark, peeled it with a Kunai, and tossed the peel towards the waste basket in the corner of the classroom, before biting into it.

Due to this, no-one was really in a state of mind to notice the sudden entrance, and argument between Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino about who was first and who got to sit next to Sasuke, despite the fact that that was Naruto's seat.

Noticing that everyone was looking towards a specific direction, the two girls halted their argument in favor of seeking the source of interest, Ino especially with her status as a known gossiper.

The blonde's tongue almost fell out of her mouth at the sight of the blonde hottie that _sat in Naruto's place_...

"What the hell!?"

"I know, right!" came the distracted response from Ami, a classmate of theirs "Where does he keep pulling this fruit from?"

Trading looks, Sakura and Ino silently mouthed "Fuit?" before turning their full atention not just on the blonde's clothes and body, but on what he was doing.

That's how they witnessed the boy shoving a whole peach into his mouth, then somehow spitting out the pit, before repeating the process with a whole Apricot, spitting out it's kernel. Catching a glimpse of the pale-skinned, raven-haired Uchiha, though, broke Sakura's trance in the scene.

After all, it was 'just Naruto', and nothing related to him was worth paying attention to.

Dashing up the steps, she stood next to Naruto, before shrieking.

"Get out of my seat, Naruto-Baka!"

The loud volume caused to blonde to choke on an avocado seed as he attempted to repeat the process, before he managed to spit it out...

Right onto Sakura's dress.

As the pinkette stood stock still in shock, Naruto let out relieved breaths, before turning to the stunned pinkette and frowning at her, speaking in an angry, admonishing tone.

"Are you crazy!? What the hell would make you screech that loud next to an _eating_ person? I could have choked!"

The shocks in the classroom built as Naruto actually spoke up against his ' _Sakura-chan_ ', with a certain blue-haired girl cheering inwardly, though outwardly she could do nothing more than poke her fingers together.

Sakura, having gotten over her shock, clenched her her hand into a fist and raised it to punch Naruto in the head, as usual.

Everyone was expecting the usual scene to pass... Which is why they all gaped openly when Naruto blocked said punch with his palm, before wrapping his fingers around the fist, and _squeezing_.

Sakura winced visibly, the pressure around her fist being more than just slightly uncomfortable.

"First, you nearly make me choke. Then you try to _order_ me to vacate _my_ seat as if you had any authority over me. And, not content with that, you try to hit me."

Then, Naruto actually scowled, before speaking up.

"You know, looking at our previous interactions logically, I cannot really see any reason for me to have ever been infatuated with you. Luckily for you, since you actually always made your thoughts about me known despite my persistence, this one is going to slide. But keep in mind Haruno-san, if you try to hit me again, I'll retaliate in kind. We're no longer just children playing around, talking to our friends and worried about social cliques.

The moment we put on these headbands we were automatically considered adults, and part of being an adult is gaining maturity, and assuming the responsibility and consequences of your actions. Keep this in mind."

"I couldn't have said it better myself."

Everyone else turned towards the classroom door, seeing the figure of their chunin instructor, Iruka, except for Naruto who kept his gaze on Sakura before raising an eyebrow. When the girl clenched her other fist, Naruto _squeezed_ , causing her to cry out in pain and try to pry the blonde's hand away with her own.

"Let go! Let go!"

Shaking his head, Naruto gave her a further squeeze, before retracting to his initial strength.

"Not until you apologize. You just tried to hit me, this sort of thing doesn't just disappear because people's attention has gone elsewhere. Until you apologize, I won't release your hand."

Sakura gave Naruto a defiant look, causing the blonde to sigh in exasperation, before squeezing even tighter. As her hand started turning red, Sakura finally called out.

"OK!OK! I'M SORRY, PLEASE LET GO!"

Naruto released Sakura's hand, allowing her to fall back onto her behind as she tried to shake life back into her hand. Giving a genuine smile, the blonde spoke up.

"See, that wasn't difficult! You did something you shouldn't, you apologize. Now we can move past this as better people!"

The pinkette shot him a moist-eyed glare, causing him to sweatdrop.

' _Jeez, why's she glaring at me like that, for? It's not like I didn't give her the chance to apologize without the use of strength._ '

Turning away from the glarind Sakura, Naruto focused on his bemused, surprised and proud teacher, Iruka, before speaking.

"Iruka-sensei, you're late."

The man sweatdropped at that, a thought of ' _Well isn't that ironic_ ' passing through his mind as he thought of the team assignments.

"Well, yes, erm, sorry, but I was a bit busy. I have just left a meeting with Hokage-sama about a certain subject, so..."

Naruto blinked lightly, before asking in a serious tone.

"Was it about _that_?"

Everyone's attention was peaked automatically, even as Iruka answered.

"No, Naruto, nothing of the sort. It was just regular chunin things."

"Ne, Iruka-sensei" started Ino, not even waiting for her hand in the air to be acknowledged "What did Naruto-baka mean by ' _That_ '?"

Naruto frowned at the form of address, even as Iruka sighed inwardly. Before the teacher could respond, Naruto spoke up.

"It's none of your business, _Yamanaka-san_."

Sniffing contemptuously, Ino tossed her hair back before speaking.

"Stop trying to act so cool just because you changed your clothes, you're still the same dead last as you were last week. Just because you got Sakura to apologize to you doesn't mean I'm afraid of you. If things come to it, I can simply kick your ass. After all, I did better in the shinobi-program after all."

An honest-to-god scowl came over Naruto's face, surprising many that the boy could even do so, before he answered.

"I'm not 'trying to act cool', Yamanaka-san, I am simply telling you to stay out of other people's business, as it's a subject that has nothing to do with you. And if you feel so confident about your chances against me, I invite you to try to attack me. I won't be half as lenient with you as I was towards Haruno-san."

Ino glared visibly at the blonde, but as she made to stand up to walk towards him, Iruka's voice sounded around the classroom.

"ENOUGH, THE TWO OF YOU!"

His scowl shifting to a neutral expression, Naruto turned his focus back towards Iruka, dismissing Ino completely and causing her to seethe silently, swearing to herself to get back at the dead last for this.

Not much wanting to watch his student's drama, Iruka pushed forward.

"I had a whole speech prepared to praise you on your progress and maturity, but it seems that it would be undeserved by you kids."

The man directed his gaze towards the blonde female, before adressing the rest of the class again.

"So I'll just go directly to team assignments. Team 1..."

As Iruka starting firing off the squads, everyone else in the room focused on the figure of Uzumaki Naruto. From the goofy, orange-clad dead-last, to an assertive, serious shinobi, it seemed that he mature great-oh there he goes, pulling out a whole watermelon out of... somewhere... and cutting it into slices with a kunai.

A vein throbbing in his forehead, Iruka spoke up.

"Naruto, give me a good reason for why you are _eating in the classroom as I assign teams_!"

"Well" the blonde said between munches "I'm hungry."

Seeing Iruka's angry look, the blonde decided to be more thorough in his explanation.

"Seriously, I'm really hungry Iruka-sensei. I've gone through a few changes, and my metabolism sped up to stupid degrees. I'll be constantly eating for a while, until my body settles down. Has to do with _that_."

Choji looked at Naruto with stars in his eyes, envious of a ready-made proper excuse to eat wherever, whenever, and of the ability to seemingly pull food out of thin air, while Iruka seemed alert and worried.

"Naruto, are you alright? Should I contact Hokage-sama?"

Waving his instructor off, Naruto swallowed the last of the watermelon, before biting into a mango.

"Nah, it's okay. I'd contact him myself if there were any problems."

Letting out a sigh in relief, Iruka focused back on the team assignments.

"...Team 7 is Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura..."

Sakura jumped to her feet, ready to start firing off rockets and let out exclamations of success and happiness...

"...and Uzumaki Naruto, under Hatake Kakashi."

Only to blink, spare the blonde a scared look, and sitting back down. Said blonde, noticing this action, let out a sigh, before focusing on the plum he had in his hand.

"Team 8 will be composed by Aburame Shino, Hyuga Hinata and Inuzuka Kiba, under Yuuhi Kurenai. Team 9 is still in rotation, and Team 10 will be Akimichi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru and Yamanaka Ino, under Sarutobi Asuma. Your sensei will be here shortly to pick you up."

As he finished saying this, a bearded man with a cigarette in his mouth walked into the classroom.

"Team 10, with me."

And just like that, he turned around and left.

"Troublesome."

With that declaration Shikamaru got up, followed after by Chouji. Ino stood up, sparing Naruto another glare, before walking outside the classroom.

That started a mass exodus, with most other sensei dropping in and getting their charges. A red-eyed, black-haired woman clad in what seemed to be clad in a handful of bandages fashioned into a dress called out for "Team 8".

Soon enough, only Iruka and Team 7 remained, before Iruka eventually had to leave, with only Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura remaining in the classroom.

Naruto seemed to be perfectly content with eating his way through what was the equivalent of 15 fruitbaskets, Sasuke stared out of the window, brooding as always, and Sakura seemed to not have decided on whether she'd stare at Sasuke adoringly, or glare at Naruto.

 _ **-2 Hours Later-**_

Hatake Kakashi sighed loudly, standing up from his position perched on a treebranch watching over the classroom.

' _2 Hours, and they haven't said as much as a word to eachother. Well, Haruno yapped at the Uchiha, but he didn't respond, so it doesn't count. I expected Naruto to have tried to comunicate with his teammates, though... Oh well. Guess I'll finally put in an appearance._ '

Making a single half-ram handsing, Kakashi was deposited on the other side of the classroom doors in a cloud of smoke, pocketing his dear book. Sliding the door open and taking a step in, Kakashi waited for the shouts of indignation to head his way, as usual...

"YOU'RE LATE!"

"..."

"..."

Only to receive a single shout coming from Sakura. Sasuke seemed to be doing his best to become the embodiment of silent brooding, and Naruto seemed to be leagues beyond them, his eyes slightly glassy as he stared unseeingly at a wall, still powering through pieces of fruit with utmost precision regardless.

"My first impression of you three... You're weird as hell. Meet me on the roof."

And like that, Kakashi vanished in a cloud of smoke. A vein throbbed visibly on Sakura's forehead, and as she reflexively turned around to shout at Naruto to aleviate her frustration, she was surprised by the blonde silently and skillfully manouvering around her, and leaving the classroom.

Sasuke followed suit, his hands within his short pockets and a frown permanently etched on his face, before the pinkette recovered enough to run after him.

 **-Academy Roof-**

"Well, aren't you a fast one. Less than 5 minutes to make it here."

Shrugging lightly, Naruto sat himself on a step across from Kakashi, before a pineapple appeared in his hand as if by magic. He was about to reach for a Kunai to peel it, before raising his right eyebrow.

'So you're saying that the peel has great nutritional value, as well as fiber?'

' **Yes, but I don't intend to make you eat peels all the time. It's just this once, I need a fiber boost for what I'm about to do.** '

'...Sure, screw it, I'll try it.'

Lowering his hand again, the blonde, in view of Kakashi, and the newly arrived duo of Sasuke and Sakura, bit into the side of the unpeeled pineapple, not caring about the spikes as he swallowed it. Lowering his book a bit, and seeing the stupified looks in his two other students, the man reiterated.

"As I said, weird. Now, I want the three of you to introduce yourselves. Likes, dislikes, hopes and dreams for the future, that sort of thing. You start, pinkie."

Scowling for an instant, Sakura's demeanor smoothed over as she started speaking.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, I like..." she punctuated by looking towards Sasuke and blushing, before resuming "My dislikes, Ino-pig and Naruto-baka!"

Kakashi looked towards the blonde, expecting some sort of reaction, only to find him giving the sky a thousand yard stare, a half-eaten starfruit in his hand. Sakura, so absorbed in her speech, didn't even notice.

"My dream for the future..." she said, before looking at Sasuke and squealing, causing Kakashi to sweatdrop, before looking towards the Uchiha. Sasuke, having an intellect beyond that of a toddler, understood his cue when it was given.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like much, and I dislike many things. I don't have a dream, but an ambition, and that is to kill a certain man..."

Not even willing to open that can of worms, Kakashi turned towards Naruto, before calling out.

"Now you, blondie."

Naruto blinked, the focus returning to his eyes, before he met his would-be sensei's gaze.

"Ah... I'm sorry, what were we doing? And who were you again?"

Kakashi felt like crying at that moment.

' _So this is how Gai feels..._ '

Ignoring the amused looks in the eyes of his other would-be students, he decided to introduce himself.

"My name is Hatake Kakashi, I have some likes, and a few dislikes as well. My hopes and dreams... I have a lot of hobbies."

While Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropped at the lackluster introduction, Naruto's eyes lit up with realization, before he started speaking.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto."

"..."

"..."

His gaze meeting Naruto's unfaltering gaze, the cyclops managed to drawl out a "And?" despite his agitation.

"And what?"

"Don't you have any likes? Dislikes? Hopes and dreams? Nothing of the sort?"

Shrugging, Naruto inhaled a pear and spat out the core, before continuing.

"I like eating fruit and training. I dislike jerks and people who are condescending. My hopes and dreams... get really strong, for now. Later on... who knows?"

' _What happened to wanting to be Hokage?_ ' were the simultaneous thoughts of Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke.

Ignoring that, Kakashi spoke up.

"Okay, now let's talk about your test. You will-"

"Wait, test?"

Not even looking at Sakura, the cyclops continued speaking as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"You will meet me tomorrow, on training ground 7, at 7AM. Oh, and don't eat breakfast, or you'll puke! Ta-ta!"

With that, the man vanished in a cloud of smoke. Naruto shrugged, standing up and jumping off the side of the building to the shock of Sakura and Sasuke, who ran to the edge to see what happened, only to watch the blonde kick away from a windowsill towards a tree, swinging around the branch and landing on top of it on his feet, before hopping towards the lower branches.

Landing firmly on the ground, Naruto made his way back home, preparing for a spontaneous test, with no explanations given.

Managing to click her jaw shut, Sakura turned towards Sasuke to question whether what she saw was truly real or not, but was met only with empty air. Her shoulders slumping, the girl could only drag herself to her home, and do her best in studying for their test the following day.

 _ **~Chapter, End~**_


	4. Tests, Teachers and Teams

**Disclaimer: Not mine!**

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage, war veteran, God of Shinobi and all-around badass could only sigh in exasperation at the scene in front of him.

'What is this scene that stumps the man called "The Professor"?' you might find yourself asking.

"Nope."

The scene was Uzumaki Naruto, the resident prankster, grandson figure and Jinchuuriki, when he was in one of his stubborn, unyielding moods. Usually Hiruzen was proud and thankful for Naruto's resilience and willpower, but not today. Rubbing at his brow and letting out a sigh of irritation, Hiruzen spoke up again.

"Naruto, please explain to me why one of my calmest, most collected jounin came into my office one step away from strangling you."

Naruto could only snicker in amusement, ignoring the dark looks that Kakashi was shooting him. His eyes still glinting in amusement, the blonde managed to curb his mirth and answered with a level of vicious satisfaction that could not be missed.

"I taught him what happens when he tries to force me to do something I don't want to."

Kakashi's right arm twitched, his uncovered eye glaring balefully at the blonde. The fact that he was covered in feathers, with twigs in his frazzled hair, and covered in a green goop smelling of 5 day old underwear and fermented foot sweat with white wine vinegar just made it even funnier.

Breathing in deeply, Hiruzen could only do his best to not lose his patience, before speaking.

"Please, explain from the beginning."

 _ **-Earlier that Day-**_

" **YOU'RE LATE!** "

"Well, There was this lady, you see, and she asked me to help her with her groceries, but on the way there I saw a cat on a tree, and – hey, where's Naruto?"

Sakura crossed her arms, letting out a huff of irritation before answering.

"He showed up here on time, waited for an hour and a half, and then left. Said he was going home. Maybe I should've followed his lead, seen as you're **3 HOURS LATE**!"

Seeing that Sakura was one step away from decking him in the chest, and seeing that Sasuke, leaning against one of the training posts, was doing his best to keep his hands from either reaching for his weapons or shooting a Jutsu at him, Kakashi decided to vacate the premises, give them time to cool down.

"Sure, whatever… I'll go pick up blondie, and then you'll have your test."

Before Sakura could say anything further, Kakashi vanished in a cloud of smoke.

 _ **-Naruto's Apartment-**_

"I thought I told you to be at the training field."

Ignoring the scolding, mildly reproaching tone of Kakashi, Naruto tied up the filled balloon that were in his hands, putting it together with all the already filled others, before taking off his surgical mask, rubber gloves, headscarf and overalls. Washing his hands with copious amounts of soap, Naruto finally responded to Kakashi.

"You said to be at Training field 7 at 7AM. I was. I waited for an hour and a half, and since you didn't show up, I left."

Pulling his book out of his pouch, Kakashi spoke.

"Well, you're forgiven for it today, just be sure not to leave a team meeting early again."

"I can't leave team meetings early, because I'm not part of your team."

Kakashi's eye left his book at that, a lazy, half-lidded gaze settling on Naruto's back.

"Excuse me, what do you mean you're not part of my team?"

Shrugging, Naruto answered.

"What I mean is that I don't belong in team 7. I'll ask the old man to put me in another team, or to send me to the reserves until next year."

Kakashi's tone conveyed none of the panic he felt rising internally.

"And why would you do that, when it would mean taking longer to get the Hokage seat?"

Naruto pulled a leek out of his fridge, covering it in peanut butter and honey, before takin a bite. Taking the time to chew and swallow, and either not noticing or ignoring Kakashi's cringe, Naruto answered.

"First of all, your info broker is behind on the news. The Hokage thing has fallen through, if our meeting yesterday on the roof didn't clue you in on that. Second of all, I have various valid reasons to not want to be a part of team 7.

One of them is standing behind me right now. You're supposed to be a jounin, yet you're constantly late, you shamelessly and hypocritically complain about me leaving early, and are constantly reading porn in public, yet you had the guts to call _me_ weird. Honestly, your shenanigans aren't endearing, they're annoying.

Second, I can't work with Sasuke and Sakura. Or, more accurately, they cannot work with me. There's a… clash of personalities stemming from our time in the academy that would make it impossible to work together. I dislike Sasuke, which I am sure he reciprocates, and Sakura dislikes me, though she has a reason to.

Plus, I can't see team 7 working. Sasuke is obsessed with getting stronger and being paired with the academy dead last, _moi_ , probably goes against that objective in his head. Sakura worships the ground Sasuke walks on, so despite the fact that she should be the smart one, she'll keep quiet if it means pleasing Sasuke. And with me being the dead last, they won't respect anything I say, no matter how logical it sounds, or how good of an idea I have. If we became a squad, it's likely that Sakura would die in our first C-rank."

"You're being quite pessimistic there, aren't you? I'm sure that if you try hard enough, the three of you can get some good teamwork, so let's go on with this test."

Not allowing Naruto to respond, Kakashi placed a hand on his shoulder before vanishing in a cloud of smoke.

 _ **-Training Field 7-**_

A cloud of smoke attracted the attention of Sakura and Sasuke, and they watched as Naruto forcefully shrugged Kakashi's hand off, shooting him a glare. The jounin ignored this, setting an alarm up and placing the clock on top of one of the training posts.

He turned towards them, before speaking up.

"Now that we're all here…" He ignored Naruto's intensified glare, and kept speaking "we can begin our test. I have two bells on my person, and your objective is to get them before the alarm goes off for noon."

Sakura spoke up at that.

"But, sensei… You only have two bells, and we're three."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you… One of you won't get a bell. That one fails the test, and gets sent back to the academy."

"Well, that makes things easier. Sasuke and Sakura can get the bells, I'm leaving."

The other two watched Naruto in surprise, not expecting him to so easily ignore the chance to become a full-fledged genin. Kakashi, on the other hand, frowned beneath his mask. He needed to find a way to get Naruto involved. Teaching him was the best way to honor his sensei's memory, but how… Ah.

"So you're going to ignore this one-time opportunity to fight me all-out, with no consequences?"

Naruto froze mid-step, his right leg suspended. They watched as what seemed to be a wave travelled up his spine, before he put his foot back down. He looked back at Kakashi over his shoulder, and then intense look he gave the jounin had the man abnormally nervous.

"You mean it? Fight you all out; however I want to, with no consequences?"

Kakashi ignored the voice in the back of his head shouting at him that it was a bad idea, and swallowed the unnatural amount of caution he felt towards a genin before answering in his usual tone.

"Zero consequences."

He watched a malicious smile blooming on Naruto's face and felt a chill go down his back, a chill that was replicated in Sasuke and Sakura's spines as well. Walking back towards the rest of team 7, Naruto rubbed his hands together and let out the mother of all evil cackles, raising Kakashi's hackles.

Shrugging this off, Kakashi kept speaking.

"Remember, if you want to get a bell, you're going to have to fight for the kill. Test… START!"

He watched as Sakura and Sasuke vanished into the foliage, while Naruto stood across him.

A new evil smile bloomed on the blonde's face, before he spoke in a sing-song tone.

"You're going to regret this~"

And then, he vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Ignoring the odd feeling of terror he felt in the depths of his soul, Kakashi proceeded to reach into his back pouch and pull out his orange book, opening it and reading in the middle of the clearing.

He felt a form moving around the underbrush, trying to find a good position to attack, and another form just keeping still, watching him.

' _Sasuke and Sakura… Then, where's Naruto?_ '

He thought about stretching his senses to search for the blonde, but was surprised when Sasuke dashed at him aiming a punch at his book-covered face. Kakashi dodged by leaning his head to the side, book following the motion, before blocking Sasuke's follow-up roundhouse kick with his free arm, pushing the black haired boy back a few paces.

Sasuke responded by reaching into his Shuriken pouch, tossing a brace of them and running after them, kunai in hand.

Kakashi reached into his own kunai holster, deflecting all the shuriken before blocking Sasuke's attempt at slashing him with his own kunai, giving the boy a look from behind his book.

Sasuke released his Kunai, freeing his hand from the clash and going through handsigns at impressive speeds for an academy graduate, but before he could breathe in to finish his fire Jutsu, he found a foot in his gut, forcing his breath out of him and leaving him on the ground, gasping, the chakra that he had previously built up dispersing uselessly.

Getting his breath back, Sasuke hopped backwards, reaching into his pouch with both hands and getting as many shuriken as he could, before tossing some of them at Kakashi, which the man dodged or deflected. He was surprised, however, when other shuriken impacted into the first few, redirecting them around him. Very soon, a good cloud of sharp, whistling steel flowed around Kakashi, sparks emerging from each deflected projectile.

After a set of deflections at a particular angle, all of the shuriken flew towards Kakashi from various different angles, piercing into him…

 ***POOF***

Before a log took his place.

Seeing the spot where Kakashi emerged at, Sasuke decided on a strategy. Going through a few handsigns, Sasuke made three illusory clones, each of them going towards Kakashi from a different direction, one from the left, another one from the right, and the third one straight ahead.

Kakashi ignored the attacks of the illusory clones, allowing their limbs to ghost through him, only to be surprised as he saw a shuriken fly through the clone right in front of him. He moved his head away from the flying star of death that the village decided to allow moody pre-teens and teenagers to buy legally in unregulated amounts, only to notice a second one moving in the first one's shadow. He moved his book-wielding hand, deflecting the shuriken with the metallic plate on the back of his glove, before his eyes widened as he saw Sasuke in the air across from him, his hands in a tiger handsign, his chest puffed up.

Deciding that he didn't want to turn into Kaka-toast, the jounin put his book away before speeding through his own handsigns. The large, red-hot ball of fire sped towards him, only to be met with a waterspout.

The two Jutsu nullified each other, leaving Kakashi within a cloud of steam. Sensing motion from beside him, Kakashi shifted lightly only to witness Sasuke's hand lightly graze one of the bells. Deciding to not let the kid's head swell up more than it already was, Kakashi took him a bit more seriously.

He kicked Sasuke out of the steam cloud, before engaging him in taijutsu. He snapped rapid punches and kicks, and watched as Sasuke's guard weakened under his blows. Seeing an opening, Kakashi slammed a palm blow into his gut, knocking the air out of him again and pushing him into another section of the clearing.

Catching his breath, Sasuke managed to stagger back to his feet before looking around him, trying to detect where Kakashi would be attacking him from.

The Uchiha looked to his left, right, and then above, not catching a glimpse of Kakashi.

' _Not to the sides or above, then from where-!_ '

His thought process was interrupted when a pair of hands wrapped around his ankles, before he felt himself being dragged down into the earth all the way to his neck, only his head free.

Looking up, all Sasuke could see was a smug, irritating cyclops, giving him a condescending eye smile.

"Well, it seems like you're up to the neck in trouble, ne?"

Sasuke glared at Kakashi, a large number of curse words cycling through his brain, yet the only thing he managed to let out was an indistinct grunt.

Chuckling, Kakashi reached back into his pouch for his book, shifting his focus to detect his other would-be students.

' _There's Sakura, but I still can't detect Naruto… Well, there's still time on the clock, he'll show up eventually. For now, let's have some fun with Sakura. Now, what should I… Oh, yes, that sounds good…_ '

 _ **-With Sakura-**_

The pinkette was still at the starting point, sitting inside a bush, next to a tree. Her mind was trying to parse through what she saw of the fight between Kakashi and Sasuke, yet she always managed to get stuck on images of the boy. She envisioned Sasuke's movements, each time his shirt moved and fluttered in the wind, giving her sight of more skin, either down his neck, or up his stomach.

Her mind started conjuring up even more images of Sasuke. Brooding, brooding while looking out a window, giving her a cold look, shirtless, shirtless while drinking from a water bottle, shirtless while covered in sweat, pouring water from the bottle onto his own body, the droplets gliding down his pale skin…

A twin trail of blood spurted from Sakura's nose, before she felt herself falling backwards and letting out perverse giggles, her delusions keeping her in an incapacitated state.

Kakashi, from his perch, on top of a tree branch, could only sweatdrop in exasperation. He hadn't even done anything to Sakura, she incapacitated herself via whatever her mind conjured.

And he was even going to use the _**Demonic Viewing Jutsu**_ on her! So unfair!

Shifting his focus from Sakura, and _definitely_ not pouting, Kakashi tried to find Naruto's presence around Training Field 7, only to get zilch. When he changed to trying to sense his chakra signature, he felt an instant migraine.

Everywhere in the clearing was Naruto. Naruto on the ground, Naruto in the trees, Naruto in the bushes, Naruto in the water, Naruto everywhere! How much chakra did that boy have? How didn't he explode things just by using the academy 3? What the hell was going on?

"You're probably asking yourself why you feel so much of my chakra, all around you, right?"

Kakashi reacted instantly, jumping away from the branch he stood on and turning to face his attacker even as he threw a Kunai at him, only to watch the boy his blade impacted vanish in a cloud of smoke.

' _ **Kage bunshin**_ _… What's he playing at?_ '

"The answer to that, Kakashi, is that I've been setting up the ultimate tort- trap course, just for you. Teach you to call me weird."

Naruto, the original one standing across from Kakashi at the entrance of the clearing, punctuated his statement by biting into a whole lemon.

' _You're eating lemon peel, and you're complaining about being called weird._ '

Ignoring this thought, Kakashi responded to the blonde.

"The ultimate trap course, you say. Give me your best shot, maybe you'll almost get me with one or two of your best traps."

Chuckling evilly, Naruto spoke while shaking his head.

"Oh, Kakashi, you have no idea."

After saying that, Naruto made a cross handsign, creating 10 copies of himself, which dashed at Kakashi at full speed.

The Jounin was surprised by the clones' speed, above what he expected from Naruto, prompting him to put away his book before hopping backwards and away from the branch he was perched on.

His feet touched the ground for barely a second before he hopped away, watching as a balloon burst onto where he previously stood, a yellowish-green sludge spreading at the point of contact, its rancid smell intense even from where he stood. His distraction was almost punished by a sweeping kick to the face, which he barely avoided by swaying backwards, before blocking a follow-up back roundhouse kick, retaliating by slamming a punch into his attacker's side, causing it to burst into a cloud of smoke.

Out of the smoke cloud, three more balloons sailed towards Kakashi, which the grey-haired cyclops barely managed to avoid.

He was then attacked by 5 clones. Their taijutsu wasn't flawless, far from it. Kakashi could spot openings in their moves, openings borne out of inexperience with the movements, or in general, attempts to do moves that their bodies weren't conditioned to use, and other such things, yet they fought in a way that made him unable to counter. If one clone had an opening to his left flank, another one was ready to attack Kakashi if he tried to capitalize on it.

' _His clones are aware of the weaknesses in their moves, and are using them as bait. If the first attack misses and I attack, I leave myself open for another to hit. If I don't, they can keep attacking freely, making any attempts at Taijutsu into a battle of attrition. I don't think going into one of those with an Uzumaki Jinchuuriki is a good idea._ '

Dodging another barrage of punches and kicks, Kakashi hopped backwards and started going through handsigns for a fire Jutsu, only for a smoke cloud to explode under his feet, shrouding the clearing.

Trying to target Naruto from the curtain of smoke, Kakashi tried to sense for his chakra.

Big mistake.

Naruto was already planning for this, so as soon as he used the smoke bomb, he dug deep into his reserves, grabbing into even the last dregs of chakra. He felt it pooling, coalescing and swirling around him in a visible, almost palpable cloud…

And then he _pushed_.

Naruto flared his chakra violently, causing a small pulse to travel throughout the clearing, causing Sasuke and Sakura to pass out from the pressure, leaves and branches to sway, small animals to lose their consciousness.

The pulse was so strong that it managed to travel throughout the entirety of the village, though it weakened exponentially after 10 meters of distance from the point of origin, averting an emergency response from the ANBU. Everyone with the ability to use chakra in the village felt a twinge in their awareness, causing them to turn towards the source of the pulse, but not enough to cause them to panic, or rob their attention if they were completely focused on something else.

But Kakashi, who was focusing completely on sensing Naruto's chakra…

Alas, poor Kakashi. We knew him well.

Blue. Blue, blue, blue and more blue, that was all that filled his awareness. He saw blue, he heard blue, he could've sword he even smelled and tasted blue. The mother of all migraines wished it was as intense as the pain that assaulted Kakashi's head.

The pain was so intense that he could've sworn that he had 15 Yamanakas rooting through his brain, all the while Akimichi Choza jumped up and down over the real, physical thing. He felt as if 100 flash bombs burst behind his eyes, all at once.

As Kakashi reeled, trying to regain his focus, and control of his senses, Naruto did his best to keep on his feet, copious amounts of sweat flowing down his forehead. Pulsing all of his chakra at once seemed like such a good idea inside his head, but he could've done without the crippling exhaustion brought on by a lack of chakra. It was something that he hadn't ever felt before, and something that he could've done without.

Luckily, his clones got empowered by the passing wave of chakra, because he wouldn't have managed to do anything else to Kakashi before the man regained control of his senses.

There _is_ a reason why the man is a jounin, after all.

The clones capitalized on Kakashi's dazed state, pelting him all over with the balloons, covering him head to toes in the awful concoction. The copy ninja, regaining his sense of smell and feeling his migraine increasing from the assault, attempted to run away from the blonde to recuperate, and then return to kick his ass seven ways to Sunday under the guise of a test. As he moved towards a section of the clearing, he felt his path being blocked by clones, more balloons flying his way. He changed directions, running into the only area void of clones…

Into Naruto's trap field.

The blonde, for his part, was greatly entertained by what happened. Despite the nigh-crippling exhaustion ( _which he was recovering from faster than he expected he would, probably thanks to Kurama_ ), he could still watch Kakashi's torment.

' _Call me weird, won't you? Make me wait an hour and a half for something you scheduled, show up 3 fucking hours later. You're going to learn that messing with Uzumaki Naruto brings consequences. There's a reason why ANBU's Mantis and Hawk are terrified of me, and it sure as hell isn't because of the fox!_ '

' _ **I'd like to believe that my name was still enough to bring terror to the hearts of mortals, thank you very much.**_ '

' _Oh, no offense meant to you, Kurama. You're still terrifying as hell, especially when you go into training mode._ '

' _ **Speaking of, I felt that flare of chakra you released. You lost over 35% of the chakra you had built up during release. You'll need to do more chakra control exercises. I have this thing with kunai, lead weights and cooking oil in mind…**_ '

' _Please keep your terrifying training regimens for after I beat Kakashi._ '

' _ **Whatever you say, kid. Just get ready to sweat.**_

Pushing those thoughts aside, Naruto refocused on Kakashi's plight, and he felt an influx of memories, courtesy of a dispelled clone.

Kakashi had already fallen in the pit of quick-dry cement, walked through the valley of hanging socks, leg warmers and green spandex suits ( _All pilfered from this dude with huge eyebrows and left overnight in a cramped, locked cupboard_ ), got more than a few bumps and bruises with swinging logs and twigs, had a run-in with this cat with a bow on its ear that all but shredded his clothes and stepped on a turd.

His hair was a mess, his clothes were a mess, and he felt like a huge bruise, smelled like a public bathroom in a hot, summer day after an Akimichi all-you-can-eat marathon cranked up to 11 _ **,**_ _and_ he still felt the effects of the Naruto chakra bomb.

In three words:

Kakashi was pissed.´

As his senses started returning to normal, Kakashi could only watch as a blonde dashed by him, cut the bells free, and then run as if the hounds of hell were at his heels.

He was starting to reach for his headband, deciding to take Naruto seriously, son of his sensei or not, when the alarm sounded.

' _SHIT, there goes my chance to kick his ass! Unless… Oh, hehehe, ahahahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAHA!_ '

Kakashi cackled mentally as he made his way back towards the alarm clock, followed by Naruto, who's eyes were tearing from how much he laughed, an utterly annoyed Sasuke, still clearing clumps of dirt from his shirt after having been dug free by a Naruto clone, and a Sakura who alternated from looking at Sasuke perversely and giggling, and turning her nose at Kakashi, trying to keep her distance from him due to his smell.

Kakashi, seemingly unperturbed by everything else, beat everyone to the punch as he spoke up.

"Congratulations, team 7 passes."

Sakura and Sasuke looked at each other, before looking at their teacher. Sakura was the one who spoke up for both, however.

"Not that I dislike that result, but… Neither me nor Sasuke-kun got bells, and I doubt Naruto-Baka managed to get a bell if neither me nor Sasuke-kun got them as well, so what gives?"

Naruto responded by growling, before pelting Sakura's head with the bells.

"I got both bells, all on my own. Suck it."

Sakura and Sasuke turned simultaneous scowls towards Naruto for different reasons. Sakura for the fact that Naruto threw the belts at her and rubbed her failure on her face, and Sasuke because the dead last managed to get the bells and put Kakashi through what seemed to be absolute hell, when he barely grazed the bells while giving it his best.

Well, that and the fact that Naruto knocked him out with his raw chakra alone. The implications of the difference in chakra capacity between them weren't lost on him, and if his fans understood them, they'd probably emigrate towards the 'We love Naruto' camp.

Wait a second… That was a brilliant idea! If Sasuke advertised Naruto's chakra capacity, maybe the fangirls would leave him alone and congregate around the idiot! Then, he wouldn't have to worry about getting stalked daily, or wearing a triple-locket chastity belt to bed!

Elsewhere in Konoha, Hyuuga Hinata felt a sense of blind rage and her vision tinting red for just an instant, before it receded as fast as it came. Despite it receding, she suddenly gained a level of animosity towards Uchiha Sasuke.

Kakashi continued speaking up after that.

"And there you have it, the meaning of the test was teamwork, and Naruto shared his bells with Sakura. You pass. I want all of you here tomorrow at 7 for physical training and sparring against me."

As Kakashi prepared to shunshin out, get cleaned up and fantasize about what he'd do to Naruto to get even, Naruto's voice called out.

"Not so fast! That was a good plan, Kakashi, but you won't get me that easily. I'm not giving you the opportunity to get even! I'm not a part of team 7."

"Like hell you aren't!" Kakashi growled out aggressively, actually scaring Sasuke and Sakura with the amount of animosity he was projecting. Naruto seemed to not be afraid of it, instead relishing in the animosity, embracing it like a well-worn coat, as he answered.

"Well, then I resign from team 7. I'll see if I get transferred to the reserves."

Kakashi didn't give him the time to even stand up, bridging the gap between himself and the three genin in an instant before placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder and wrapping an arm around Sasuke and Sakura's shoulders, forcing them to touch the green goop and get a good whiff of it, before moving them all to the Hokage's office in a shunshin.

 _ **-Present, Hokage's office-**_

"And that's pretty much what happened."

Hiruzen turned his gaze towards the disgruntled forms of the rest of team 7, all of them glaring hotly at Naruto, and did his best not to laugh at the smug blonde's antics.

' _To think he went as far as stealing Gai's dirty laundry… That's some dedication._ '

Ignoring the tittering in the corners of his office, which he knew were the ANBU's efforts to suppress their mirth at seeing the always late, unflappable copy-ninja who made it a habit to annoy others getting some of his own medicine, Hiruzen cleared his throat, before addressing Naruto.

"Well, now I understand why team 7 is here, but I still don't understand why you don't want to be part of team 7. Mind explaining to me why you'd rather go on reserve than work with them?"

"Because being part of team 7 would probably end up with me dying."

Everyone sobered up at that, while Hiruzen linked is fingers together, propped his elbows on top of his desk and leaned forward, his linked fingers covering his mouth. His gaze turned serious as he said a single word.

"Explain."

Everyone straightened up perceptibly at the tone used, their 'not die' reflex being triggered.

"Starting with individual skills, Sakura is too weak.

She's deceptively strong for her size, but she has low stamina, agility and chakra capacity, plus, her taijutsu is too stiff, cookie-cutter. She can't improvise, or deviate from the academy taijutsu style in case her opponent does something unexpected.

She doesn't have any ranged options other than kunai and shuriken, which she's only average at, and even if she were to learn a jutsu to bridge this gap, her low chakra capacity would mean that she couldn't pull it off often enough for it to be reliable.

It's too easy for her focus to stray from what's in front of her, and this will happen more often than not when Sasuke is involved. This lack of focus makes her an unreliable strategist, and she doesn't have any other secondary skills to make her useful.

Sasuke, for how much of a bastard he is, has some real skills.

From what I saw during the test, his taijutsu is good. The only thing that hamstrings it is the fact that it seems predicated around reading the opponent's moves and countering, and that requires either the sharingan, or great analytical capabilities, none of which he's developed yet.

He has good mid-range options. I saw him use the _**Fireball Jutsu**_ , and I don't doubt he has others he's keeping hidden. His skills with projectiles are good, and I can guarantee it because I saw him bounce dozens of shuriken off of each other into stabbing Kakashi.

He'd be a shit strategist because his arrogance makes him see himself as the most capable member of the group, which means that he'd disregard any team members that excelled beyond him in areas he's interested in, and give himself the central role. His stamina is good for short bouts of combat, but since he's used to beating opponents quickly by a mix of good speed and strength, and superior skill, he can't plan for long fights. He's proud and arrogant enough to attack Kakashi head-on during our test, without having any alternative plans or support available."

Hiruzen nodded lightly at that, his focus fully on Naruto as he processed the information, before asking.

"What about you? How would you assess yourself?"

"Me? I'm good. Many times better than I was at graduation day. My physical capabilities are better than anyone else in my graduation class without the use of chakra or ninjutsu. My taijutsu is still coming along, it's something that I'm building up as I go along by copying and adapting snippets I see from other fighting styles, but it still has a few holes. I usually cover these holes through copious use of _**Shadow Clones**_ so that the opponent can't explore them, and even if they can strike faster than my clones can cover me, they can't really tell which one is the original me and which ones are clones due to the fact that I'm constantly replacing myself with my clones, and doing my best to hide outside of the enemy's awareness.

Ninjutsu-wise, I only know the _**Replacement Jutsu**_ , the _**Transformation Jutsu**_ and the _**Shadow Clone Jutsu**_ , but the _**Shadow Clones**_ are very versatile for various things, including trap setting and scouting. Since the clones are self-aware, the can choose to replace with me in case there's an attack heading my way that I'm unaware of. They also have an unlimited effective range, being limited only by how much chakra I pump into them, meaning that they can engage at ranges away from me, covering for mid-to-long range fighting.

My strategies are… unorthodox. I can think about what I'm capable of doing, but I'm not sure I can extend that to others."

"That's individual skills down, are there any other factors?"

"I already told Kakashi earlier, but interpersonal relations. With me, Sasuke and Sakura trying to work together, there would be too much dissent and friction. Sasuke would automatically assume he was the leader and try to order the rest of the team around. Sakura would just follow his lead, but I wouldn't really stand for it. In any scenarios where planning would be required and Kakashi were either unavailable, or unwilling to do so, we'd be screwed. Sakura, even if she had good or effective plans, would ignore them in order to defer to Sasuke. Sasuke wouldn't be able to accurately plan things due to overestimating his own skills, underestimating those of his teammates, and the fact that his strategies are too tuned to direct combat, no misdirection, nothing else of the sort. If I proposed something, Sasuke would reject it out of principle, as would Sakura, even if it were a good plan.

Even while fulfilling specific directives from Kakashi, there'd be too many clashes between me and them.

Plus, Kakashi's personality is off-putting. He ordered us to be in training field 7 at 7AM, and he only showed up at 10, then he had the guts to try to scold me for leaving after waiting for him for an hour and a half. He's somewhat condescending, and tends to ignore what people say just because. He can't pull off the annoyingly endearing like I do, with him it's just plain annoying."

Everyone in the room sweatdropped at that, even as Kakashi curled up in the corner, doodling on the ground with his finger.

Unbidden, Naruto proceeded.

"Those are just the problems with team 7. In my opinion, this team should be outright scrapped. The four members of this team would ideally never be put together. Unfortunately, Kakashi and Sasuke have to stick together because of the eye thing, but I and Sakura should go to different squads."

Hiruzen took a second to muse on Naruto's words, while everyone else in the room was reacted differently.

Sakura was a mix of worried, hurt, annoyed and melancholic, having her shortcomings exposed in such a way so publically, in front of even the Hokage, and worse, _Sasuke-kun_ , knowing that she had absolutely nothing to say to counter Naruto's words, and that ' _even the dead last was better than her_ '.

Sasuke was a mixture of smug and self-satisfied, for having had his skills recognized and listed as they were, annoyed that the dead-last knew noticed the weakness of his taijutsu, and angry about being called a shit strategist and the implied slight about his stamina.

Hiruzen continued to move the conversation forward.

"If you were to assign the squads, how would you have done it?"

The ANBU in the room whom were used to the exuberant though not very bright child that Naruto was were left gaping at his serious and analytical behavior, but they were joined by Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura when the Hokage directed the last question towards Naruto.

After all, Sarutobi Hiruzen, the professor, Sandaime Hokage of Konoha and God of Shinobi wouldn't even consider asking for advice in team balance from Uzumaki Naruto, the academy dead-last whom had failed his graduation exam twice before… would he?

"I'd move the members of the other squads around. My clones were watching the other teams from the moment Kakashi sprung that test thing on us, so I know that teams 8, composed by Yuuhi Kurenai, Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata and Inuzuka Kiba; and team 10, composed by Sarutobi Asuma, Akimichi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru and Yamanaka Ino managed to pass.

The teams that I'd suggest would be Akimichi Chouji, Inuzuka Kiba and Uchiha Sasuke under Hatake Kakashi as team 7; Aburame Shino, Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino under Yuuhi Kurenai as team 8; and Hyuuga Hinata, Nara Shikamaru and Myself under Sarutobi Asuma as team 10."

"Very interesting…" The old man murmured, before giving a short response. "Justify your choices."

Oh god, he really was trusting Naruto with team assignments, wasn't he?

By the serious look in his eyes, they could see that Naruto's words were being taken as more than just a hypothetical scenario; Hiruzen was taking the blonde seriously. Naruto, never one to disappoint, started on his response.

"Kakashi is a very socially awkward person, as far as his habits and hearsay paint him, and he's also a genius, so I see him as a hands-off teacher. It would work well with my proposed team 7, since Akimichi Chouji and Inuzuka Kiba predicate their fighting styles entirely around their clan jutsu. They would learn from their family, and training with Kakashi would just allow them to try out the new things they learn, and iron out the kinks. Kakashi should be able to notice their weaknesses and tell them about it, prompting them to work hard to get over them. Sasuke probably has access to a hypothetic jutsu library of some kind, from which I definitely did not take anything in the last week or so, and which would allow him to learn and progress at his own pace until he awakens his sharingan. When he does, Kakashi could teach him new things via 'cheating eyes of hax' and then just have him working on basics like chakra control, strength and speed to help him adapt to the moves he cop- excuse me, learned – from Kakashi.

Team 8 being composed by Shino, Sakura and Ino under Kurenai makes sense since Kurenai is said to be very strict on Kunoichi that don't work hard, in order to make sure that they don't fall to one of the many perils of the occupation that they are more susceptible to, such as kidnapping, slavery and sexual exploitation. If someone can break the fangirl out of Sakura and Ino, it's probably Kurenai.

Shino is a very smart, very logical person, so he'd probably take up the position of leader. The fact that Sakura and Ino are afraid of him will make sure that they don't put up fuss over it. His taijutsu is good, covering short range quite well for our approximate skill level and age group, and his Kikaichu bugs will cover mid and long range combat. I heard rumors of Aburame clan members breeding Kikaichu capable of draining poison from their user and friendlies, and to administer poison to enemies. They also lend themselves quite well to trap setting, and non-lethal disabling via chakra consumption.

Sakura has pretty much no redeeming qualities other than her unexpected explosive power and good chakra control. Kurenai would probably have to 're-forge' her, and if she adds a few genjutsu to her arsenal, all the better. Then she'd have something that she could use reliably for anything more than short range, without depending on tools, or losing out due to her low chakra capacity.

Ino is almost in the same boat as Sakura as far as Taijutsu goes. Her clan style doesn't lend itself to taijutsu, so she didn't really focus on that, something which Kurenai would have to make sure she understood. Aside from the academy 3, she can use some of the Yamanaka mind-based jutsu. Those are unreliable at mid-to-long range, especially in single combat, since whiffing them means leaving your body defenseless until your consciousness returns. The fact that her Jutsu have much to do with navigating the mind, and that she's learning them from Yamanaka freaking Inoichi, means that she'd probably have an easier time with genjutsu than most, especially those geared towards manipulation more than damage.

Team 10 also makes sense. Hinata is a close-range specialist, with her _**Jyuuken**_ allowing her to disable, or even kill her opponents with a few finger pokes. Her _**Byakugan**_ allows her to act as a scout, giving Shikamaru and me the time to set up traps or defenses against possible attackers. Shikamaru's taijutsu is amongst the worse among the graduation class, being above only Sakura and Ino. The meat and potatoes of combat for him is his clan's shadow-based jutsu, which are most effective at mid-range, requiring a high chakra cost and more or bigger shadows to increase its range, and his tools. Shikamaru is smart, stupidly so. He's the smartest one in our graduating class in terms of traditional strategy and planning, so he probably already knows about his shortcomings, and has an array of tools and strategies prepared to cover them up. I'm currently mostly a taijutsu user, with a focus on _**Kage Bunshin**_ , but I throw those around like candy. I can use them to scout, set traps, combat, and to cover my teammates when needed, to get heat away from them. If I pump enough chakra into them, they can even replace themselves with my teammates, allowing them to take any life-threatening damage in their place, with minimal loss. In case of emergencies, I can just summon as many as I can, and run away with my team in the midst of the chaos. My chakra capacity also makes Ninjutsu a very likely, if not mandatory, branch for me to follow. I can use those, in conjunction with my _**Kage Bunshin**_ to increase my effective range and to make sure team 10's enemies regret trying to fight us.

Since Asuma is a Nin-taijutsu fighter as well, good at close range with his trench knives, capable of expanding to mid-range with his flying swallow technique, and rumored to have an array of fire and wind jutsu for longer ranges, he's the best possible pick to teach team 10. He can help Hinata shore up on her Jyuuken difficulties, like Kakashi for Kiba and Chouji, he can help Shikamaru improve his taijutsu and strategy, since as far as I'm aware he's a very intelligent fighter as well, and he can help me get better with my _**Kage Bunshin**_ assisted taijutsu, and with learning new jutsu. His personality is said to be laid-back outside of official matters, but focused when needed, and he's said to be a very hands-on tutor, so he'd benefit all members of this version of team 10."

Once again, everyone in the room with the exception of Hiruzen was giving Naruto incredulous and gaping looks, while the Hokage just closed his eyes and seemed pensive. When he opened his eyes, he gave Naruto another serious look, before asking.

"Where did you get all of this information?"

Here the blonde broke his serious demeanor, slouching lightly as he scratched the back of his head, a small, sheepish chuckle drifting out from his lips.

"I kind of… Broke into the academy, and looked through the records. Plus, I may or may not have clones following around each of the jounin sensei announced by Iruka-sensei."

Seeing Hiruzen's flat look, and completely missing everyone else's incredulous ones, Naruto blushed lightly before speaking in a flustered tone.

"Hey, I need to know this kind of stuff if I'm going to be the strongest man on earth, okay!? I need to know who I have to surpass!"

Hiruzen leaned back into his seat, his posture relaxed and his hands reaching into his desk. The old man chuckled at Naruto's antics, even as he tried to ignore the part about breaking into the academy if just to stave off a headache. He reached into his desk, pulling out a scroll, some ink, his pipe and some tobacco. Giving the nervous Naruto, the disgruntled Sasuke, nervous Sakura and disheveled Kakashi cursory looks, Hiruzen nodded and started writing something on the scroll.

"You have given me much to think about, Naruto. I am currently writing down your suggestions and I will look at them from different angles alongside a few trusted people. If we find them to be better than the current assignments, we may well follow your suggestions. But, regardless of whether that happens or not, your request to not be a part of team 7 has been granted. While this re-evaluation of the team assignments is being made, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura will be serving under Kakashi, while you will be working with someone different. Swing by here tomorrow morning to get more information. That will be all. You may leave."

Naruto turned towards Kakashi, sticking his tongue out childishly before speaking.

"You can't beat me up under the pretense of training now, Kakashi! Serves you right for underestimating me!"

He followed that up by sticking out his tongue at Kakashi again, before rushing out of the office.

Seeing Kakashi's crestfallen look, Hiruzen let out a mild chuckle, before speaking up.

"Do not worry, Kakashi. Naruto may think he dodged the proverbial Kunai, but he's got more in store for him than he knows. You will be avenged, Kakashi, since Naruto will be learning under… _her_."

The way the Hokage said 'Her' sent chills down Sasuke and Sakura's spines, while Kakashi's eye gained a renewed glint of hope, his previously drooping hair sticking up again while he spoke with unrestrained glee.

"Sir, you mean…"

"Yes, Kakashi, that's exactly who I mean. I dare say that Naruto shall be meeting his match."

Kakashi gave the Hokage a radiant eye smile, bowing at him in utmost respect for his deviousness, before making his way outside the office, a confused and spooked pair of Sasuke and Sakura following after him.

Anyone who saw Kakashi on the way home could attest to the fact that despite the disarrayed clothing, green slime and the smell hanging around him, he seemed to be glowing more than a pregnant woman.

Naruto, in his apartment, could only shiver, while a certain purple-haired Kunoichi frowned thoughtfully at the mission scroll she had received via messenger hawk, stamped with the Hokage's personal stamp.

Mitarashi Anko had just been assigned as Uzumaki Naruto's teacher for the foreseeable future.

The combined population of Konoha could only feel a massive, simultaneous chill run down their spines, it being the universe's way of warning the world against mixing the two destructive and disruptive forces that were Naruto and Anko.

Hiruzen, from his seat behind his desk, could only cackle gleefully.

 _ **-Chapter End-**_

 **Okay, this took quite a while to write, both for the fact that I am very low on time, with classes restarting, and doing my best to write something that isn't trash even after my break. I hope this chapter is of the same quality, if not better, than anything else I've written before.**

 **That being said, I'm leaving here a little warning for anyone worried, or interested about it:**

 **Naruto: Uzumaki Chronicles is** _ **NOT**_ **abandoned, in Hiatus, or anything of the sort. I am actively working on it, writing and rewriting, often times deleting upwards of 2 or 3 thousand words at once if I feel a segment isn't good enough. I don't know when it is going to get updated exactly, but it will, eventually. Hopefully before the end of the month, but I can't really promise on that.**

 **If you like the story leave a follow, favorite and review, as it helps increase its popularity, and the amount of people seeing it. I am FrancoGamerxz, signing out!**


	5. The Infernal Duo: Konoha shall Tremble!

_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

"You know, this isn't what I expected waking up to."

That was a reasonable thing for Naruto to say. Why?

Well, I doubt anyone would expect to wake up tied down to their own bed via ninja wire, while this strange exhibitionist lady went through their stuff.

Said home invader turned back towards the blonde, an orange jacket in one hand, a long-sleeved marron shirt on the other one, before speaking up.

"I dig your style change, kid, but you need to destroy these orange monstrosities permanently. Make sure they don't ensnare you in their allure again."

"HEY, DON'T DISS THE ORANGE! IT'S NEVER DONE ANYTHING BAD TO YOU!"

The woman shrugged, tossing said jacket over her shoulder and increasing the pile of old clothes on the floor, before turning back around and rummaging through Naruto's drawers again. She spoke in a conversational tone.

"I expected you to be more freaked out about this than you are. After all, it isn't every day that you wake up to this scene… Unless you're into some really kinky shit."

Anko turned back around, giving Naruto an inquisitive look, her eyebrow raised.

"You're not, are you?"

"Not really" the blonde answered nonchalantly, before continuing "The reason why I'm so calm is that my original self is already on the way to the Hokage tower, to warn the old man about this."

The invader, a special jounin by the name of Mitarashi Anko, froze for an instant, before asking in a hesitant tone.

"W-what do you mean by your 'original self?' "

"What I mean is that I'm not really here. I'm a shadow clone. And by now, my real self is probably over the halfway point to the tower."

A small spike of panic hit Anko, causing her to drop everything else and jump out the window, intent on reaching either the original blonde, or the Hokage tower before the kid, to make sure that the old man didn't misunderstand her intentions.

Now, if you're confused about Anko's reaction, then you should be aware that it was warranted, and had a very reasonable explanation, but in order to understand it, you'd have to understand one fact.

Sarutobi Hiruzen loved his family.

That sounds like an extremely obvious, normal statement. People are supposed to love their families, after all.

What you should understand about this is that Hiruzen took that a bit to the extreme side of things.

The reason he and his son were on less than perfect speaking terms is a consequence of Hiruzen going a bit overboard in his protective streak.

When Asuma had made Jounin, he was very proud of himself. He managed to add his name to the ranks of the great. Granted, he was no Hatake Kakashi, or Maito Gai, but he had finally taken his first step in succeeding to step out of his father's shadow, while simultaneously making him proud.

However, Hiruzen, no matter how proud he was of Asuma, refused to give him any missions above B-rank. Asuma felt slighted by that, as if his skills were being disparaged, as if his father didn't believe him capable, so he decided to join the 12 Guardians of Fire under the direct command of the Daimyo.

And Naruto was definitely family, blood or not.

Now, let's turn the clock back a few years to when Naruto was 8. In the middle of the night, a man had attempted to infiltrate the young boy's home, armed with a kunai and a firebomb, intent on doing the boy harm and then wipe the evidence clean. ANBU's Monkey, Dog, Tiger and Cat who were usually the ones on rotation to protect Naruto had been sent on a special assignment together, and the ones that were supposed to be watching his apartment were 'mysteriously' absent.

Naruto, luckily, wasn't in his room. He had occupied a different apartment in that same building as his base for prank planning, and he was getting something particularly vicious prepared for a merchant who had ran him off from his store. Noticing the movement in his room and knowing that the 'funny people in the masks' shouldn't be in his room, Naruto had done as his Jiji had told him to during emergencies and sent some chakra in a tag he kept on his person at all times.

He was surprised when not 5 minutes later his door was knocked down by an irate Sandaime Hokage, clad in his full black ensemble, a black staff under his arm and a wild look in his eye, looking like a man ready to go to war.

The would-be killer was also very surprised. And in need of a change of underwear.

That day, Naruto learned how much of a badass his jiji was, and a certain fool learned why he should be afraid of old men with sticks.

Legend said that he was still locked within the ANBU dungeons, his mind broken due to his inability to understand the various shapes his body was forced into. Not even the village's best mathematicians could make sense of them.

Anko could attest to this because she made it a habit to show him pictures of Hiruzen whenever she was doing her rounds in the dungeons. He shrieked like a little girl, probably the result of one too many sticks to his stick.

So you can understand why she would be terrified of the kid misrepresenting her actions. Well, her reasons for her actions anyway, the actions themselves were kind of unequivocal.

She knew that the old man wasn't going to send her into the ANBU dungeons, more for the fact that she was the only person good enough at torture to break herself, but just the thought of him giving her the 'I'm not mad at you, just disappointed' look was upsetting. Plus, he could misconstrue it as her taking up her old sensei's habits, and that was a big no-no.

Now you understand why she had made a journey that was 30 minutes long at a jogging pace, in 3.

Bursting in the door to the old man's office, she was ready to start blurting out explanations only to find him sitting on a round table, people like Nara Shikaku, Yamanaka Inoichi, Hyuuga Hiashi, Inuzuka Tsume, Aburame Shibi, Akimichi Choza and the two old farts bearing the title of Elder Advisers occupying the other seats.

Seeing the bemused looks in some (Shikaku, Inoichi, Choza, Tsume and Hiruzen himself), the reproachful ones in others (Hiashi, Koharu, Homura) and the inscrutable one from a certain Aburame, she stopped for a second, articulating what she was going o say, before speaking.

"Is this a bad time?"

Seeing her scratching the back of her head sheepishly, Hiruzen saw just how much she and Naruto were alike, firming his belief in their partnership even further. With a vaguely amused smile borne from that thought, Hiruzen answered.

"Well, not exactly a bad time, only a busy one. Why?"

"Well… the thing is… you see…"

She trailed off, her eyes glazing for a second as she went through her memories of her journey towards the tower via rooftop. She had kept an eye out for the blonde, wanting to spare herself a full run to the tower if possible, yet she didn't see him. She thought he had already made it into the office, but there was a meeting in progress, and she was sure that the kid wouldn't be allowed to be in the room, no matter how much the Hokage loved him like a grandson. Maybe. He wasn't in the waiting room either, and she didn't sense the animosity that usually came from the civilian populace whenever he was walking outside, which meant…

"He tricked me."

Everyone in the room looked at her questioningly, something that Anko missed as she talked to herself at a low volume.

"The reason why I didn't see him wasn't the fact that he was already here, it was the fact that he never came here in the first place. That kid…"

After Anko dashed out of the office, Hiruzen smirked in amusement, before speaking up rhetorically.

"It seems Anko has met her charge."

 _ **-Naruto's Apartment-**_

Naruto rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck, enjoying his freedom from the cocoon of wire he was trapped in. Luckily Kurama had suggested that he keep a spare kunai on his person at all times, and he followed the advice. That, combined with his natural propensity for rope-escaping techniques allowed him to free himself from the bed.

' _That was a risky move, that bluff. If she hadn't fallen for it, I would have only succeeded in teaching her the fact that I'm good with clones. Luckily she fell for it. She should have reached the tower right about now, so I should probably make myself scarce from here, circle around to get there._ '

' _ **You're probably right, Naruto. You better move.**_ '

Giving Kurama the equivalent of a mental nod, Naruto gave the pile of orange clothing a longing glance before climbing out his window, locking it behind himself and then bolting for the direction opposite of the Hokage tower, intending to make get halfway around the village before approaching the tower from a different direction. He needed to talk to the old man, urgently.

Making his way away from the Hokage tower via rooftop, Naruto saluted a passing acquaintance in the form of a brown cat with a red ribbon under its left ear, getting a raised paw in response, before heading towards the training grounds.

Running away from some crazy woman is no reason to slack off on training.

' _ **You're goddamn right!**_ '

Sweatdropping at his tenant's comment, Naruto refocused on the path in front of him, being surprised by the presence of Team 10 in the clearing he intended to go to. Shrugging and having nothing better to do at the moment ( _And hoping that Asuma could at least slow down the crazy lady in case she managed to track him down_ ), Naruto called out loud.

"Chouji, Shikamaru, fancy meeting you here!"

Team 10 turned towards the source of the voice, with Chouji waving at Naruto in greeting, Shikamaru nodding and Ino narrowing her eyes, not having forgotten about what had happened in the classroom at the academy.

Noticing the level of animosity that Ino was levelling onto Naruto, Asuma half-shrugged questioningly before lighting the cigarette present between his lips and watching the kids interact.

Chouji, being the friendliest of the team, was the first one to answer.

"Hey, Naruto! What're you doing around here at this time? Shouldn't you be training with your team right now?"

Shikamaru's ears perked up at that, as did Asuma's. Ino, despite her animosity towards Naruto could never resist a good bit of gossip, so she leaned in to listen.

Naruto shrugged, before answering.

"I'm not part of team 7."

Ino smirked smugly at that, speaking up before anyone else could.

"I knew that you didn't have what it took to be a shinobi, _dead-last_. Your supposed sensei probably saw how useless you were next to _my_ Sasuke-kun, and kicked you out of the program!"

Chouji frowned at Ino's words, as did Asuma, neither of them liking this particular brand of poison being spewed towards someone who did nothing to them, while Shikamaru could only sigh, knowing that things were about to get more troublesome as Naruto would probably retaliate.

Surprising everyone in the clearing, however, Naruto completely ignored Ino in favor of facing Asuma.

"Hey, you're the old man's son, right? Sarutobi Asuma?"

Asuma felt some bitterness seeping into him due to the form of address as nothing other than 'the Third's son', only to be surprised by Naruto's next words.

"The old man told me a lot about you! He said you were a badass that decided to join the fire something or another and that you totally kicked ass at it."

Asuma actually felt a flush come over him as his cheeks were dusted with a light tinge of red, with his students looking at him curiously, not having known about this before.

Scratching the back of his head, Asuma answered sheepishly.

"Can't say much about being a badass, but I _did_ belong to the 12 Guardians of Fire. We worked under the orders of the Daimyo, personally protecting him more often than not. Most of our members either originated from, or belonged to the fire temple monks at one time or another. I myself joined the monks for a while."

Naruto's eyes widened in wonder, before he started firing out questions in rapid succession.

"Did you travel a lot? What was the most dangerous mission you did? How was life in the temple? Did the monks know any odd jutsu? Do you know any kick ass jutsu? Can you teach them to me?"

Asuma's eyes were spirals at this point, trying to keep up with the blonde boy's enthusiasm.

As Asuma was about to answer, he felt someone emitting malice in his field of awareness. Knowing who it was, Asuma wasn't really worried until he heard the sound of metal whistling through the air at the same time as Naruto hopped away from where he was, a brace of shuriken embedded on the ground where he previously stood.

The entirety of team 10 focused at that, forming up with the intent of fighting off their assailant, only to be surprised when a purple-haired woman wearing a tan trench coat and mini skirt landed across from Naruto, giving the blonde a look that could only be considered bloodthirsty. Before any of his kids could make a very terrible mistake, Asuma spoke up.

"Anko, what're you doing here? What's this about?"

Sparing Asuma a glance from the corner of her eyes, not wanting to lose sight of Naruto lest the boy pulls off a vanishing act like Yugao always complained about, Anko spoke up.

"Blondie over here tried to bamboozle me-"

"You mean managed to?"

Anko responded by tossing a Kunai at head level, which Naruto dodged by tilting his head lightly to the side, before continuing.

"And now he's going to pay the price."

Sighing in exasperation, Naruto responded.

"You were the one who broke into my apartment early in the morning. You were also the one who fell for the trick. And worst of all… You had the GUMPTION to diss the orange! You _don't_ diss the orange, lady!"

"Like hell I don't! Those things were a monstrocity!"

"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"

"BRING IT, BRAT!"

"With pleasure! _**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**_!"

Everyone was surprised when 10 different Naruto's appeared around the field, all of them either glaring or growling at their opponent.

Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru due to the fact that Naruto was supposedly incapable of making a single competent clone during their academy days, and Asuma and Anko for the fact that the kid was capable of spawning 10 _**Kage Bunshin**_ without even breaking a sweat, when even people of Kakashi's caliber were said to be capable of using 2, 3 clones at most.

Anko's bloodthirsty grin intensified greatly as she rolled a kunai around her fingers with maximum dexterity.

Naruto, staring Anko down, called out for his clones.

"You know what to do, boys! GO!"

The 10 clones dashed towards Anko, a rain of fists and feet creating a messy melee that team 10's genin could not even begin to understand. Ino gulped when she saw that, glad that she hadn't actually fought the blonde at the day of team assignments. He would probably beat her with just 2 clones.

She really dodged a Kunai there.

Asuma watched the blonde's clones moving, and he managed to see through the visual clutter caused by the many flying limbs and the bright-colored shirts contrasting with the darker, more subdued pants and the environment around them, noticing the fact that the blondes always moved in concert, covering each other's weaknesses and openings, waiting for Anko to misstep in order to capitalize on it.

Anko noticed this as well, so she decided to kick things up a notch. She started dodging, blocking and parrying the clone army's attacks with some inhuman movements, displaying a level of flexibility that would send Jiraiya to pervert heaven based solely on blood loss given the implications. The clones weren't expecting, or prepared, to fight someone that… nimble, and that could be seen in the amount of blows that Anko was forced to block or parry decreasing, and the clones' frustration building. Soon enough the clones where attacking so erratically that they started actually hitting their brethren, dispelling each other in large clouds of smoke.

Ino cheered inwardly at this, while Asuma assumed a focused frown. Shikamaru and Chouji, on the other hand, were openly gaping at the fight. They held no illusions of being capable of handling an assault of that magnitude.

When the last clone dispelled, Anko found herself shrouded in a cloud of smoke. Before she could do much she heard the tell-tale whistle of sharp, deadly steel mid-flight, swaying to the side only to see, through a gap in the smoke, a hissing piece of paper tied to the Kunai's handle. A loud explosion reverberated from the chakra smoke cloud, causing clumps of grass and dirt to rain over the clearing, a black cloud of acrid smoke mixed with dust replacing the original one.

The three genin of team 10 gave Naruto horrified stares, not expecting their teammate to so easily kill another leaf Kunoichi.

"Y-you killed her!"

"Don't be stupid, Ino." Asuma spoke in a sharp tone "Do you truly think that a person of Anko's caliber would've died that easily, or that your own classmate would've so easily and callously killed a comrade?"

"Chimney-kun is right, you know." Anko's voice sounded from behind Naruto, a kunai poised against his throat, getting a trail of sweat to roll down his forehead in nervousness. "The great Anko-sama would not be defeated by a mere genin."

Giving a defiant grin, despite the fact that more than a few beads of sweat rolled down his neck and forehead, Naruto spoke up.

"Wanna bet?"

Before Anko could answer, Naruto vanished in a cloud of smoke, a log appearing in his place while the blonde appeared next to Asuma. He spoke in a solemn tone.

" _As the log takes your place, you become the log. The log becomes you. For a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja_."

Asuma and Anko simultaneously let out an instinctual "Amen", confusing the three genin of team 10.

Seeing Naruto's unyielding gaze, Anko chuckled evilly before cracking her fists and neck.

"You're good, kid. An over-the-top, loud, vibrantly-dressed genin using chakra intensive jutsu and direct combat wouldn't be expected to pull something like that off. Misdirection… I guess I'll take you more seriously."

Having said that, Anko raised her arm and pointed her hand towards Naruto.

" _ **Sen'ei Jashu!**_ ( _Hidden Snake Hands_ )"

A stream of snakes flowed from Anko's sleeve; their mouths open wide and revealing sharp, hooked fangs gleaming with purple and green poison as they rushed towards Naruto. Said blonde's eyes widened before he jumped away at the last second, getting grazed by one of the snake's fangs.

Raising his shirt ( _And revealing a hard, well-sculpted torso that Ino categorically denies having drooled at_ ), Naruto grimaced at the purple color that splotched around the area he got grazed on. He felt his balance trying to abandon him as the world swayed, but his training proved superior when his body instinctively lowered his center of gravity and kept standing despite the poison.

Anko followed up on the snakes by dashing at Naruto, going for a sweeping kick to the face which the blonde dodged by a hair's breadth, tossing himself towards the ground and rolling to the side, forcing himself back to his feet as he felt the poison stop advancing.

' _ **I managed to stop it from spreading, but it'll take a while to burn it off unless you call on my chakra.**_

' _And continuous physical activity will go against your efforts and spread it further, right?_ '

' _ **Yup. At least you'll gain a resistance to most poisons of this type. Get exposed enough and it might develop into immunity.**_ '

' _Neat, I guess I'll go around weekly asking her to sic her snakes on me. No one will find that even the slightest bit weird._ '

' _ **No need to get all snarky on me, kid. I was just saying.**_ '

' _Yeah, sorry Kurama, I'm just screwed up by this poison._ '

Deciding that Naruto had enough time to recover, Anko dashed towards him again and attempted to hit him with a hammer blow to the head which the blonde avoided by jumping upwards. Seeing Anko jumping after him, Naruto balled himself up and positioned his arms and legs in order to cover as much of his torso as possible.

Anko smirked at this, releasing a flurry of punches, kicks and palm strikes against Naruto's guard.

Naruto weathered the blows as well as he could, but eventually a punch from Anko managed to break through his guard, opening his chest up for an attack.

"YOU'RE WIDE OPEN, BRAT!"

She punished the opening with a hard palm strike, only to witness Naruto vanishing into a cloud of smoke. The blonde reappeared under her, a trail of blood from the corner of his mouth showing that he didn't pull of the replacement on time and got at least a bit of the damage. Re-orienting herself downwards, Anko shot another grouping of snakes towards Naruto.

Naruto made 10 clones and had all of them throw all the kunai and shuriken on them against the snakes, dispelling them and leaving Anko in free-fall towards them.

Not willing to give up, Naruto jumped and made various clones, firing them towards Anko as if they were rockets, forcing the Tokubetsu Jounin to put up an actually serious guard, only to find herself surrounded by Naruto's. She felt herself being kicked on the back by one, going downwards towards another one that pushed off of one of its own kind to gain momentum and punt her upwards.

Anko blocked the direct blow by crossing her arms, but she was pushed upwards regardless. She then felt herself be grabbed by both arms, while another Naruto kicked her in the spine. That was followed up by a hammer blow to the head, tossing her towards the original only for him to uppercut her as hard as he could.

Team 10 watched incredulously as Anko rolled on the ground, beaten and unconscious…

Before she melted into mud.

Feeling the last of his stamina leave him, Naruto allowed himself to collapse on the ground, his clothes completely drenched in sweat.

"That… Woman… Is… A… Fiend!"

Anko walked up besides Naruto's head, giving him an unashamed look up her miniskirt as she crouched and patted his face.

"Aww, is the little baby tired?"

"Screw… You!"

The purplette snorted before answering "Better men have tried, and failed tremendously."

The woman stood back up fully, before walking towards the crater caused by Naruto's exploding tag on Kunai trick, crouching at the edge of it and examining the soil as she spoke.

"That being said, you show some promise. You're determined, clever, resourceful, and you can take a hit. That, and you're a freaking chakra monster. I mean, using clones while having a chakra-disrupting poison inside your bloodstream? That's freaking absurd. I'm going to have fun being your teacher."

Naruto blinked owlishly, before speaking in a blank tone.

"What."

The purplette walked into the blonde's view, rubbing her chin in what seemed to be a pensive manner as she spoke to him "I didn't tell you, did I? The old man made me your teacher."

As Asuma chuckled, Ino rejoiced and Shikamaru and Chouji said their prayers for their comrade, Naruto only had one real way to respond.

"Shit."

 _ **-Hokage's office-**_

"You must be kidding, Hiruzen! T-this proposal is preposterous! You intend to break years of tradition heralding back to the time of our sensei!"

"Koharu" Hiruzen started "Upholding tradition for tradition's sake is as bad as instituting change for change's sake, none of them are optimal, and none of them mean actual progress."

"But Hiruzen" broke in Homura "This tradition has lasted this long for a reason: It works! Under this team structure we've had legends such as the Sannin, Ino-Shika-Cho, and many others!"

"Ah, but then we must ask ourselves… Why can't we do better?"

Seeing everyone's inquisitive looks, Hiruzen elaborated.

"The tradition might have worked for some, but it won't for all. Trying to force our future generations into outdated molds only stifles their talent and progress. How many more Jiraiya's, Tsunade's or even Minato's have been overlooked, handicapped or even killed due to poor team assignments? By being matched with teachers that were either not well suited to teach someone of their particular skills, or whose personality clashed horribly with the students, or with teammates that disliked each other to the point of sabotage?

Other than that we have to look at the issue of proper resource management and overspecialization. As the teams stand, team 7 is slated to be a primary heavy assault team, team 8 is supposed to be a tracking unit, and team 10 is the team of capture and interrogation specialists, but by organizing teams in this manner we ensure that they are exceptionally good at those fields, but poor in all others.

Other than that, by dividing teams in such manner we deprive teams 7 and 10 from tracking specialists, 10 of primarily combat oriented individuals, and 7 of capture specialists. Team 8 is the most balanced one, which is why it should be split apart, with at least each team getting one of its members."

The other members traded looks between each other, trying to estimate about how the others would vote.

"All in favor of the new team assignments?"

After a few seconds of stillness, Tsume raised her hand, followed by Shibi, Hiashi and Hiruzen himself. After a short pause, Inoichi, Shikaku and Choza followed suit.

"All against?"

Koharu and Homura raised their hands at this, disgruntled looks on their faces at being so thoroughly overruled.

"The new team assignments shall be enforced in 2 weeks, in order for the jounin to prepare properly for the new team members they shall be assigned to. Meeting adjourned."

Everyone vacated the table, leaving only Hiruzen behind. The man thought back to Anko's face when she burst into the meeting room and couldn't hold back the smirk that emerged on his face.

That was, until a certain terrifying thought went through his mind.

' _What if Naruto and Anko actually_ enjoy _being partnered together?_ _By Log, what have I done? I've unleashed a great terror upon the village!_ '

Hiruzen could only react in a single manner.

"Shit."

Every single civilian, and most shinobi of the village, felt a simultaneous chill run down their spines, as if someone had just treaded over their graves.

Anko felt a sudden urge to laugh, an urge that Naruto reciprocated. Asuma could only ward himself against evil in face of such malefic laughs, promising much chaos and mischief.

Things were definitely going to get more interesting around the village.

 _ **Scene! Another chapter done! In case you're worried about Uzumaki Chronicles, know that there's a good reason It's taking this long. Planning is hard. So far, I'd been writing things on a whim for the most part, only following a 'script' for certain key points. From now on, I intend to cut back on that.**_

 _ **I want to flesh out the members of Naruto's… collective… further, so I intend to give each of them an arc of their own, at least 3 chapters each. I also intend to develop Team Naruto as characters, and the Panthers as summons.**_

 _ **Other than that, I'm working on an endgame. I intend for Kaguya to be a pivotal piece of the endgame, but we've seen how fast and how much Naruto is progressing in terms of strength, plus we've seen people like Jashin make an appearance. I want to expand on this, since we already have the measure of most canon villains. The only member of the Akatsuki whose depth wasn't truly explored, I believe, was Itachi. I intend to change this.**_

 _ **So, expect character development arcs, OC's, new villains, and more!... When I do get around the task of updating.**_

 _ **Other than that, I'm thinking of writing a Jaune-centric RWBY story. Would anyone be on board with it?**_


	6. Torture by any other name

_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

"Okay, kid, we'll start with physical conditioning!"

"Sure, sure…"

Naruto could only sigh inwardly. After recovering from the fight against Anko he had gone to the Hokage and asked about his teaching situation, only for the old man to tell him that Anko was being honest, and she truly was his teacher.

The old man had seemed oddly nervous as he said it, but Naruto shrugged it off as one of his eccentricities.

So here he was, one day after waking up tied up to his bed by the woman and fighting for the honor of his color, getting taught by her, calling her sensei.

Troublesome.

Great, now he was sounding just like Shikamaru.

Ignoring these inane thoughts as he stretched lightly, limbering his body for his usual workout, Naruto spoke up.

"So, what am I supposed to do? Run laps around the village? Thousands of pushups? Scale a mountain without using chakra?"

Giving Naruto a massive smirk, Anko tutted, before answering.

"Nothing like that, kiddo. You are going to… stretch!"

Blinking owlishly, the blonde gave Anko a flat stare as he asked.

"Stretch?"

The purplette smirked, answering with "Yep!" in the brightest of tones.

"Okay, not to brag, but I made sure to train my body enough to be able to withstand more punishment than a brick wall. Just stretching isn't going to do much for me, Anko-sensei."

Anko's smirk turned bloodthirsty as she answered.

"We'll see."

 _ **-15 minutes later-**_

"DEVIL! MONSTER! FIEND! WHY MUST YOU SUBJECT ME TO THIS TORTURE?"

"I thought stretching wouldn't do much for you?"

"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D TRY TO BEND ME LIKE A GODDAMN PRETZEL!"

"Oh come on, you interested the 'Great Anko-Sama'! You can take more than this!"

Saying that, Anko placed both hands on top of Naruto's shoulders and then pushed his torso forward towards the ground he was sitting on, his legs stretched completely and open in a V. She kept pushing, trying to make Naruto bend to the point where his forehead touched the ground without any other parts of his body that were already in contact with the ground leaving it. If possible, she'd make sure the kid was able to head-butt his own junk.

 _ ***CRACK!***_

"OH LOG!"

Snickering in amusement, Anko eased back a bit, allowing Naruto to recover…

Before pushing down again.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh, stop being such a baby!"

 _ **\- Later-**_

Naruto winced as muscles that he didn't even know existed screamed in pain. These pain points seemed most focused around his waist, sides, lower back and his leg joints. Cracking his spine, Naruto let out a sigh of relief as he spoke.

"Thank god that's over."

"Over? Who said anything about over?"

Anko gave Naruto a predatory grin even as the blonde shook in his boots, promising him much more pain.

 _ **-10 minutes later-**_

"HNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Naruto let out a groan of combined exertion, pain and fatigue as he bent forward. Anko had led him towards a boulder and told him to stick his feet to the top with chakra, before bending over forwards. In essence, she was forcing him to do the same motion as one does in a vertical toe touch, except that instead of forcing him to grab his toes, she was forcing him to lay his arms flat on the boulder _under_ him. Maybe get his forehead to touch it too.

Naruto could only suffer through this attempt at turning him into stretchy noodles, with only his willpower and sheer stubbornness preventing him from crying out in pain.

 _ **-Even Later-**_

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"You're doing great, blondie. Keep breathing!"

Naruto could only whimper miserably as he was mercilessly forced into a split.

' _ **The limits of the human body are remarkable.**_ '

' _SHUT UP, KURAMA! YOU WOULDN'T BE THIS CALM IF_ YOUR _DANGLEFRUITS FELT LIKE THEY WERE ONE STEP AWAY FROM SPLITTING!_ '

"Come on, one… more… push!"

Anko punctuated by pushing Naruto into a full split.

Naruto reacted by blanking out, his eyes rolling back into his head as he foamed out of his mouth.

 _ **-Even later still-**_

"You really _are_ full of surprises, kid. You shouldn't have managed to recover in 2 days, much less 2 hours! That body of yours seems like it can take a lot of punishment…"

Giving Anko a flat stare, Naruto spoke in a dead tone.

"Have any funny ideas and I _will_ kill you. Slowly. And Painfully. You will cry and beg for mercy, and you will be afforded none."

Anko scoffed at that, before Naruto kept speaking in the same tone.

"Or worse… I'll prank you. Publically. Middle of the town square, high traffic time period. As humiliating as possible, in front of all the shinobi I can."

At this point, listening to his tone, Anko actually starting sweating nervously.

"H-hey now, Kid… L-let's not get ahead of ourselves…"

Seeing that his look hadn't changed a bit, Anko starting searching for ways to defuse this dangerous situation. Knowing of the kid's reputation, skills, and having seen first-hand some of the things he'd done before, Anko _really_ didn't want him to target her. Plus, he'd been _ages_ without playing a proper prank around the village.

The post-break prank was always the most vicious.

If you had to get pranked by him, you wanted it to be _after_ he's already pranked as many people as possible. When his supplies, and energy, were waning.

He was particularly sadistic otherwise.

' _Wait a second… Sadistic… !_ '

An idea popped into Anko's mind at that moment. If the kid was feeling particularly sadistic, well what's better than redirecting his focus and efforts into something more useful?

 _ **-Later, T &I dungeons-**_

Hence, Anko taking him to one of her favorite places in the village, beaten out only by the Dango Shack and the Forest of Death. The purplette took a big, deep breath, letting out a satisfied sigh.

"Ah, how I love the smell of pain and despair in the… Afternoon. Doesn't sound as good as if I were to say 'in the morning', but it works."

Naruto walls still completely silent, levelling a flat stare at Anko, behind which she could practically see the gears and cogs turning as he planned the most painful way to humiliate her. Gulping nervously, Anko pushed Naruto further into the dungeons, only to meet up with…

"Ibiki? What're you doing here?"

The bear of a man, clad in all black, and mostly leather, levelled Anko with an unamused gaze as he answered sardonically.

"I still worked here, last time I checked. _I_ should be the one asking _you_ what you're doing here when you're not slated to take any of the shifts for a long time, and you haven't been called in. Especially considering the fact that you've brought in an unauthorized individual."

Anko waved her hand back and forth as she answered nonchalantly.

"While I don't _really_ need to have a specific reason to come here, I came here for a good reason."

Seeing Ibiki's curious gaze, Anko pulled him by the sleeve, distancing them slightly from Naruto so they could escape his ear range and then spoke in nothing more than a whisper.

" _I royally pissed off blondie over there, and he has this look in his eye that I don't like. I won't lie to you, Ibiki; I am more than just a bit afraid. He looks like he's about to… to unleash hell week 3, except concentrated fully on me!_ "

Ibiki winced at that. Anko, the tough-as-nails, crazy, blood-lusting Tokubetsu Jounin had an understandable reason to be terrified.

To know why though, one needs to understand what hell week actually is.

This story harkens back to when Naruto was 9 years old. The boy had decided to take the shinobi graduation test, and he failed. Instead of moping, moaning and sulking like most regular children, and then forget all about it during his academy break until classes restarted, Naruto got _angry_.

For one entire week, barely anyone saw heads or tails of the blonde, and pretty much everyone loved it. The civilians didn't have to see the 'demon child', the shinobi didn't have to chase after an 8 year old with the ability to completely humiliate even chunin with his preternatural ability to escape from trouble, even the Hokage received less complaints, damage and police reports about him. The only ones to see him at all during that week were Ayame and Teuchi from Ichiraku ramen, and even then it was only twice.

For an entire week, Naruto had eaten ramen only twice! _That_ should have been enough warning for the things to come.

The following week, everyone woke up fine and happy, with expectations of a peaceful day, without any screaming, running or mess.

But then, things started happening. Bad things.

It started with a man finding his own shoelaces tied to each other. And from there on, it all went downhill.

The owner of a bookstore found the books he had in storage completely out of order, with no rhyme or reason. He spent over 5 hours organizing everything, putting it all in alphabetical order and changing the log…

Only to find out that the _covers_ of the books themselves had been switched around. And all of this without any visible signs of the boxes being disturbed, or the books being damaged.

A butcher found his store overrun with roaches, rats, ants and pests of all kinds, and the health inspector _just so happened to have received an anonymous tip concerning that shop_.

A florist found herself sneezing whenever she entered her store, despite the fact that she did not stock anything she had an allergy to. It got bad enough that her face was red, swollen and splotchy.

A shoemaker found all of his left shoes just one size too small.

A seamstress felt like every single piece of clothing that she owned was full of pins and needles on the inside.

And things just kept getting worse, and worse.

At the end of the week the village was on the brink of anarchy, yet no one, not even the best investigators could find even a shred of evidence connecting any of those events to Naruto. As far as everyone was aware, Naruto was still living a life of seclusion after having flunked the graduation exam.

Hiruzen had actually been forced to _beg_ Naruto to stop his pranking spree, though he didn't really have anything concrete to pin down the boy with.

Seeing the figure of his jiji worn, ragged and tired, Naruto decided to end his vicious spree at the week mark, not the entirety of the break as he intended.

Hell week 2 happened after his second failed attempt. Hiruzen had actually tasked some of his best ANBU to keep tabs on Naruto to make sure he couldn't do a thing, but they couldn't get a thing.

A very vocal and known 'Demon hater' was found in the morning tied up to a pole, naked, except for a bright purple wig.

After that, not even attempts at using the crystal ball for his remote viewing jutsu allowed Hiruzen to catch Naruto in the act. For an entire week, the whole village was once again hit by a spree of particularly cruel pranks, but as soon as the week mark hit, it stopped.

Naruto had remembered his Jiji's breaking point, and he wouldn't go past it.

When Naruto had seemingly failed the academy test for the third week in a row, before the whole Mizuki debacle, Hiruzen was already praying for divine intervention to help him tide over for the duration of the third hell week.

The bottom-line is, _everyone_ who wasn't Teuchi, Ayame and Hiruzen (And later on Iruka) was terrified of hell week. All other civilians were viable targets, as well as more than a few shinobi. The ANBU were either watching Naruto or investigating the crime scenes, which meant that they got very little rest, and Hiruzen had to deal with more paperwork than for the rest of the year put together.

In hindsight, _that_ more than anything else should've clued everyone in on the fact that Naruto _actually_ had the talent for shinobi work. If some jounin could wake up with their hands glued together, wearing only sexy lingerie covered in hears – regardless of their gender – then they could certainly have had their throats slashed open, by the academy dead last no less!

And wasn't that a humbling thought?

So, yes, one could understand why Anko was terrified of having something akin to a hell week focused entirely on her.

Ibiki nodded in understanding, Anko didn't deserve something like that happening to her, so if she found a way to avoid I, who was he to protest?

And that's how the three of them found themselves walking down the T&I building, looking into the various interrogation rooms via one-way glass windows.

Naruto's silence completely terrified both Ibiki and Anko, the two watching the blonde as he looked each of the 'invitees' of the torture and interrogation department.

They were surprised when Naruto stopped in front of a specific window, peering closely at the face of the man completely bound to a chair inside of the room. Ibiki walked up next to him, speaking as he did.

"Moritaka Nabe, chunin of Konoha and academy teacher. He's suspected of participating in a conspiracy to embezzle funds from the Academy coffers, taking bribes to give certain students passing grades, and deliberately failing others who wouldn't join the scheme, depriving the village of more than a few prospective shinobi. Normally either me or Anko would be breaking him right now, or we'd have a Yamanaka diving into his mind, but most of the evidence against him ' _mysteriously vanished_ ', with the remaining pieces of evidence being either circumstantial, or inconclusive."

Naruto tilted his head curiously, taking a good look at Nabe, before speaking.

"I know him. I was in one of his classes last year. He taught maths, but he used every possible reason to kick me out of the classroom whenever something important was to be taught. If he didn't have a reason, he'd manufacture one to do so."

There was a pause in the conversation, before Naruto gave a cold smile that didn't reach his eyes, a certain degree of viciousness shining in his eyes as he spoke.

"Let me go in there and I promise that I'll get you a confession."

Anko and Ibiki exchanged looks, before looking back at the blonde. Not wanting that level of cold, calculated viciousness to be aimed towards them, they gave him the all clear to work on Nabe as long as he didn't actually progress into the 'official definition' of torture.

They watched curiously as the blonde made a clone ( _no visible cloud of smoke to boot!_ ), before the clone transformed itself into a _book_. A hard cover book, wrapped in pink leather with a few fluffy… things… along the spine… which Naruto proceeded to _take a hold of and slide into his pocket as if it were an actual book_ But that couldn't really be, since the _**Henge**_ is nothing more, nothing less than an illusion, right?

 _Right?_

The two information collection experts could only gape at the fact that Naruto had seemingly created a _real, solid transformation technique_. The potential of that jutsu in information gathering… It was simply staggering!

And he was the academy dead last?

With oversights such as these, how was their village still up and running?

Ibiki could only wonder.

 _ **-Inside the interrogation room-**_

Moritaka Nabe had an eventful life. He graduated from his academy days during the 3rd Great War at the middle of the class, just another average joe, a small cog in the huge machine that was Konoha.

Despite his academy results, he managed to show his superiors that he was quite skilled in combat, so he managed to get himself a battlefield promotion to chunin and joined the frontlines. He contributed greatly for the war effort, but a word from a Yamanaka had him branded as mentally unfit for high-intensity shinobi work, which ultimately halted his career.

Nabe was a person that respected power above all else. Having witnessed firsthand that simply being strong in a fight didn't mean being powerful, and knowing that he would be unable to progress in skill due to barriers instituted by the village on the words of a single person that knew _nothing_ about him, he had a paradigm shift.

Strength by itself didn't mean power, influence did.

The big clans had loads of influence, so a word from a member of one of said clans managed to halt his progress. He didn't have contacts, friends in high places, or stupidly high amounts of strength, so he decided to gain power in a different way.

Money. Money money money money money!

The civilians didn't have strength, but they had high levels of influence on the village for the sheer fact that they moved around loads of money. So, he decided to get a lot of money as well.

He started planning and scheming with some of the people in the academy administration, with a few civilian council members covering for them, and they started skimming off the top of most of the Academy's budget, especially budget geared towards the more high-end training equipment.

Well, that was initially the plan, but Nabe wanted _more_ If no-one had noticed their deception so far, then no-one would. And if someone happened to do so, they could either be invited into the fold, or…

Well, money was powerful enough to make most problems disappear.

Case in point, Nabe had simply dropped a few account numbers, made some promises, and most of the evidence against him had suddenly vanished!

' _I could use this situation for bigger gains! Threaten to go to the daimyo about this and get a big, fat "shut up" check, then go anyways and get some advancement in my career!_ _I'll no longer have to deal with a bunch of snot-nosed brats!_ '

Nabe's train of thought was aborted when the door opened. He put on a long-suffering look, expecting it to be a shinobi sent by his 'friends' to release him due to the inconclusive evidence, only for it to change into a sneer as he saw the visage of Uzumaki Naruto sit down across from him, a steel table separating the two.

There was a stretch of silence, with Nabe doing his best to melt the _demon brat_ with just his gaze, while Naruto just sat there, leaning back into his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, a placid smile on his face, though it visibly did not reach the eyes.

The silence hung in the air for quite a while, with Naruto showing no signs of feeling even a tad bit uncomfortable, while Nabe felt his facial muscles cramping, making his sneering all but impossible to keep up. Not wanting to be seen as the weaker party due to this, he decided to break the silence that hung over them.

"What the hell are you doing here, brat?"

Shrugging lightly, Naruto spoke in an airy tone.

"Well, I was apprenticed to someone working here in T&I. I was walking around when I happened to see my old teacher, so I decided to greet you!"

Nabe noticed Naruto's forehead protector for the first time, speaking in a derisive tone.

"Standards truly have fallen if they allow a talentless wretch such as you put on one of those. Makes me wish to toss my own away."

"Careful there Nabe, that can be interpreted as treason, and Konoha doesn't treat its traitors very well, you see. They tend to be sent to the T&I department to be interrogated… such as you are, right now. So, want to tell me what this is about?"

Nabe spat on the ground, before speaking up.

"If this is the best that the village can afford to interrogate me, then standards truly have fallen. Back in my day, a _freak_ such as you wouldn't be allowed to walk around spreading chaos as you do."

While Anko and Ibiki were frowning thoughtfully, seeing this 'interrogation' going nowhere, Naruto smirked maliciously and triumphantly at Nabe, like the cat that ate the canary. When the two interrogation experts noticed this, they focused on Naruto.

The blond started chuckling lightly, before speaking up in a tone one would use when discussing times past with an old friend.

"You know, I remember the second time I failed the graduation exam. I failed the written portion by a single point, a math question if I remember correctly. A math question that I would've been able to answer had I not been removed from the classroom due to 'Disruptive behavior' when Kiba started laughing at Jinne's joke."

Sneering, the man answered.

"Your point being?"

"My point being that there was probably a reason why you were tied naked to a post in the middle of the village. And that the person who did it might've taken the time to look around your apartment, check out some stuff, read your books. Maybe even take something."

He reached into his pants pocket, removing the _**Henge**_ 'd clone and softly placing it on top of the table, within Nabe's line of sight, causing the man to gasp, his skin paling.

Naruto gave the man his cold, dangerous smile again as he spoke.

"Well, in your time, _freaks_ like me didn't get much cherished, did they?"

Having said that, Naruto reached for his 'book' self, opening it and deliberately cleaning his throat before 'reading' what was 'written in the book'.

" 'August 16th: _I convinced Nana to at least leave some of her stuff in my apartment. Fed her some bullshit about trust, and moving our relationship to the next level. Stupid bitch doesn't know she's overreaching when chasing after me. I mean, who'd go after such a plain, clingy, irritating dead fish like her? Seriously, that's great when I just want to blow a load, but there's no passion there. She can't even progress into a proper lay!_

 _But that doesn't really matter. Now that I have her clothes, then I can finally get Madame Haruka to do_ IT.'"

Nabe's face paled further, before gaining some tinges of green, which Anko and Ibiki watched with great interest. Naruto, on the other hand, seemed to be immersed 'reading from the book', which seems to be a log, or diary of some kind.

Unbidden, the blonde continued.

" 'August 20th: _I couldn't help it! It was Friday, and Nana went out on a mission until next week! I went to Madame Haruka's without worrying about getting found out. I took Nana's clothes, like I was told. I was lead to the private room and I put them on. I chose that pretty purple dress with the polka dots, but underneath it I was wearing her sexy lingerie set. Not like she's hot enough to pull it off, so it's no real issue. From then on it was 'Mama Haruka' only, and I was her good girl._

 _Like any good little girl, I did what Mama Haruka told me to. Even when she told me to lay across her lap, lift up my dress and count each paddling. It was so exciting that I wore myself out before the end of the session. Mama Haruka looked so sad, disappointed and… disgusted… that I just couldn't hold back. I had to go back there!_

August 21st: _I went back to Mama Haruka's. I wore a different dress, this one was a yellow sundress, with a pair of cotton panties, the ones with a teddybear motif and red circles. I didn't wear a bra that day. Mama Haruka paddled me again, but since I managed to hold back, she decided to reward me. She bent me over the side of the bed, tied my arms up behind my back and locked my ankles down to the iron ring built into the floor. She got a big, shiny, plastic... Marital aid… And she told me to lick it, get it nice and wet. Like any good girl, I did what Mama told me to._

 _She then walked around the bed and spanked my little shame. I loved it._

 _She spat on my back hole, attached the aid to herself with a leather strap contraption, lined herself up, and…_ '

Oh my."

Naruto put a face of embarrassment so fake that even a blind person would've seen through it as he kept paging through the 'book', letting out an occasional "Oh my!"

Nabe's face managed to simultaneously be pale as paper, green with nausea, red with embarrassment and purple with anger, which was a really unhealthy looking mixture. Not caring about that, Naruto closed the 'book' before sliding it back into his pocket.

"Well, Nabe, we've established that you're a… put in terms you'd probably enjoy: ' _A bad, bad girl_ '. I know it, you do too. But my word won't really hold much weight against yours for the majority of the populace, now, will it?"

While Nabe started regaining regular colouring, thinking that he'd manage to dodge this inquiry and then just 'make the evidence disappear', Naruto continued. 

"Unless the person who, hypothetically speaking, read through your books, followed you around and took photos…"

Nabe got so pale that he didn't look like he saw a ghost, he looked like he was the ghost itself. Naruto kept speaking.

"I'd say this would qualify you as a freak. Just imagine what would happen to your reputation if, and this is completely hypothetical, follow me here, someone started tossing the copies from the rooftops, and made sure to give copies of your literature to your 'old school friends'? You'd probably lose any support you had, no? If there was some type of scheme, then you'd probably be made into the patsy.

Of course, if you happened to have, in this completely hypothetical situation, privileged information to solve the case, this ghost prankster might choose not to divulge all of this, and burn all of it instead. Probably can't be good for his psyche to have reminders of those things."

"I'll tell you everything! Everything you want! Names, dates, amounts! Just make sure that none of that reaches the light of day, I beg of you!"

Shrugging, Naruto stood up from the chair before stretching, enjoying the feeling of his spine's disks popping into place, before giving Nabe the same placid smile.

"Relax, Nabe-sensei, those were all just hypothetical scenarios, none of those are real. I say, you don't look so good. I heard Ibiki-san took a curse in basic aid, perhaps I could call him into the room? And if you felt like talking to him, telling him something specific, well I'm sure all of us would enjoy it. You'd get some weight off of your shoulders, and I'd get to see something I very much enjoy, honesty."

Having said that, Naruto walked towards the door, giving Nabe a backwards wave over his shoulder, before the door closed behind him.

He saw Ibiki and Anko looking at him in a mixture of wonder, terror, pride, elation and glee, before speaking up.

"I promised you a confession, Ibiki-san, so go and knock yourself out."

Ibiki nodded, moving towards the door. His hand froze before he could turn the knob, before he asked Naruto.

"Mind explaining what happened in there?"

The blonde shrugged, pushed his hands into his pockets before answering.

"I've got blackmail on most people in the village. I gathered it as a kid, when I didn't really know what most of it meant, I simply knew that they were hiding it and that automatically made it valuable. I didn't really know what to do with it until recently, but now… Heh, I'm going to have _fun_ ~"

The way Naruto said the word 'fun' brought chills down Ibiki and Anko's spines, before Ibiki shrugged it off and moved into the room, wanting the info while it was still hot.

Anko looked at Naruto, seeing him giving her a blank look as he had before, and she started fidgeting in place. The blonde spoke in the same blank tone.

"Don't _ever_ try to damage, or in any way endanger 'Naruto Jr. and the Twins', and I'll forget what you did earlier today."

"YESPLEASETHANKYOU!"

The nerves fading from her, Anko managed to regain her wit and she felt herself extremely proud of the kid in front of her.

"Kid, I didn't know you were so sadistic and vindictive!... No, incorrect, I knew, but I never knew you could apply it like this! I'm _really_ enjoying having a student so far! If you keep impressing me like this, I might just keep you!"

Letting out a put-upon sigh, Naruto followed Anko deeper into the bowels of the T&I department, ready to learn more about information extraction and management from Anko, and probably Ibiki when he finished the interview with Nabe.

 _ **-Chapter END!-**_

 _ **So, how was it? Good? Bad? Average? Did you have fun reading this chapter? Any specific thoughts about it? You can give me all of that info, and more, by leaving a review! Heck, you could leave more than one if you wanted to, just go to different chapters to do so! Knock yourselves out with it!**_

 _ **That being said, I'd like to thank you all for taking the time and effort to read my work when you could've been doing something else. It really means a lot to me, so THANKS!**_

 _ **Please remember to leave a follow and a favorite if you find it convenient for yourself! This is FrancoGamerxz, out!**_


	7. 9 in Charisma and YOUTH!

_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

 _ **-The Following Week-**_

"I-I only wanted my father to love me!"

"Well if he doesn't see how awesome you are, then his loss! Come on, you volunteered to go undercover as a spy in an enemy nation, knowing that getting caught would get you killed as the best alternative, what more did he expect from you to show his pride?"

Anko, Ibiki, Inoichi and more than a dozen other T&I personnel could only watch, a baffled and incredulous silence hanging around them, as Uzumaki Naruto 'interrogated' the Iwa spy that they had found a couple of days earlier, an unexpected but very much welcome consequence of Nabe's interrogation.

Who knew following the money would lead to treason?

 _Everyone with even a bit of common sense._ But that's beside the point.

Arienichi Makino, most known throughout the population of Konoha as Anadera Maki, a jounin-ranked Kunoichi from Iwagakure no Sato, living as a spy for 12 years, having managed to emigrate a few months before the Kyuubi attack, was currently baring her heart open for the leaf shinobi in charge of interrogating her, tears running down her face.

Naruto pushed a box of tissues forward, allowing her to take some and wipe her eyes and blow her nose, before speaking up.

"You're really amazing, Makino-chan! I'm just some dumb blonde 12 year old and I can see that, why wouldn't a war veteran with more years of service than I have of life not see it? Because he's an asshole, that's why! But you can be better than him! Instead of following in his footsteps, you could rise above! You know that the information you have on Iwa's operations could save the life of many. Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters. People whose families would _actually_ miss. Not an old fart who could only say ' _about time you were useful_ ' when his daughter makes jounin in less than 6 months of chunin work!"

Blowing her nose again, Makino let out a sigh of despair, before speaking in a defeated tone.

"What's the point? After I gave away the information I have, I'd probably get sent to the darkest, deepest pit, alone again. Like always. Remembering his words every day, calling me a failure, an embarrassment to the family name. Telling me I should've died instead of my mother during my birth! I'll always be alone!"

"NO!"

Naruto's hands slamming the steel table hard, and his loud bark, caused Makino and everyone watching to jump in surprise, before he gave Makino an intense look. His sapphire-colored eyes seemed to be backlit by an inner fire as he took both of Makino's hands into his own, squeezing them reassuringly, before he spoke with an intense expression, his tone bereft of any deceit.

"Makino-chan, if you give this information, I promise to use all the power and pull I have to make your… accommodations… as comfortable as possible, and I promise to visit you as often as possible! This I promise, and Uzumaki Naruto doesn't go back on his promises! That's my nindo, my ninja way!"

"Y-you'd really do so much for me…"

"You're my friend, of course I would!"

Makino responded by throwing herself around Naruto, giving him the tightest of hugs, before breaking out in sobs.

Naruto rubbed her back through all of this, cooing soothing words into her ear until her body stopped shaking. She leaned back, taking a few more tissues from the box to wipe her face clean, before Naruto gave her a warm, friendly smile.

His intense, emotive, bright blue eyes, his shining, blonde hair, his bright, massive, eye-reaching grin and the lingering feeling of his body from the hug caused her heart to speed up, a blush tinting her face even as she looked slightly to the side in embarrassment, before Naruto spoke in a soothing tone.

"A friend of mine will come in here to get your statements, Makino-chan. After that, I'll bring you a bowl of the best ramen to ever grace history, and then I'll see to it that you're comfortable. You just have to cooperate with me, okay?"

Her blush reached a whole new proportion as she stuttered out.

"H-Hai…"

Grinning at her once again, Naruto gave her a hug with his full exuberance, before walking out of the interrogation room backwards, both his hands behind his head and his grin on display at all times, before he stepped out of the room and closed the door.

When he turned to the window he witnessed the looks of reverence, bafflement, and sheer _awe_ in everyone's faces, before Anko broke the silence.

"I TOLD YOU MY CUTE LITTLE MINION WAS AWESOME! NOW FORK OVER THE CASH!"

The various disgruntled members of the information department handed rolls of Ryo to Anko, who split the money in half to share with her charge.

Ibiki snorted at the all-too-predictable Anko response, even as he eyed Naruto with nothing short of respect. He and Anko had only been coaching the boy for a week, and he managed to make a defiant Kunoichi from their staunchest enemy, willing to die for Kage and village, fully open up to him, telling him about her childhood, her relationship with her father, and much more in only 2 hours of friendly conversation.

2 HOURS!

That was freaking ridiculous. And terrifying. This… this talent had to be fully exposed! If all of their T&I targets were made to part with information so easily and willingly, their information department would pretty much eclipse all the other villages! Sending their spies to Konoha would be more dangerous for them than for Konoha itself, with their most capable infiltrators and intelligence officers constantly defecting and giving away village secrets.

One thing was certain. As soon as Naruto got promoted, he'd try to snag him for the T&I department. Even if he failed, he'd see about having him as an outside contractor.

The most amazing part was that he saw no deception, neither from Naruto, nor from the spy!

Naruto had, simply being himself, in two hours, managed to charm an enemy into defection!

Shrugging off these ridiculous thoughts, Ibiki went into the interrogation room with his tape recorder and notebook, ready to write down everything said by the woman to make sure that every scrap of information was analyzed from all possible angles.

 _ **-Break-**_

Making his way through the throng of people trying to pick Naruto's brain for information extraction ( _or, in some cases, seduction_ ), Yamanaka Inoichi, the current head of the Yamanaka clan, stretched his hand out, introducing himself with a friendly smile and look to the boy.

"Hey there, I'm…"

"Yamanaka Inoichi, Jounin of Konoha, head of the analysis team of the village's Intelligence Division, former head interrogator of Konoha. The current head of the Yamanaka clan, you're proficient in the use of the clan's various mind-related jutsu. You're a veteran and survivor of the 3rd great shinobi war, a member of the 15th generation Ino-Shika-Cho squad, and the father of Yamanaka Ino, 12 years old, 2nd place in the Academy Kunoichi rankings, and 5th overall, and currently a member of team 10, composed of Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji and herself, under the tutelage of Sarutobi Asuma.

Your birthday is on the 24th of January, you are currently 38 years old, measure in at 180cm ( _5.9ft_ ) in height, 69kg ( _152lbs_ ) in weight, your blood type is AB and you're a sensor-type ninja. Your shinobi registration number is 005492 and you are the proprietor of Yamanaka flowers."

…Or at least tried to, before the kid gave out an info dump on him. More than just a bit wary of this, and with his attention completely peaked, Inoichi favored a sheepish smile even as he retracted his hand, scratching the back of his head as he spoke in an easy tone.

"It seems you have me at a disadvantage, as you know much about me, yet I know little."

Favoring him with a flat stare, Naruto spoke in the blankest tone possible.

" _Liar~_ "

He stretched the word out for quite a few seconds, before he kept speaking with the same flat stare.

"You know everything about me that the village has on file that you have clearance to. Seen as you're a jounin, the head analyst and a clan head, your clearance seems to be pretty damn high. The only ones to know as much about me as you are probably the other clan heads, and the Hokage. Trying to dig for info that you already know is a waste of time."

Inoichi's apprehension was replaced for a measure of respect, his sheepish smile replaced with a shrewd look as he spoke.

"Impressive. Aside from having all of the info about me that isn't 'strictly' illegal for someone in your position to know, you pretty much tell me that you know the entire council is constantly appraised of all matters involving you, and you seem to take it very well, with not even a bit of discomfort. Your composure is commendable."

Shrugging, Naruto pulled an apple from his pocket, took a bite of it and swallowed before speaking again.

"I'm a Jinchuuriki. The moment I learned of this, and of the true value of information, I expected something like that to occur. I'm not really worried about it, however, because there's no evidence of wrongdoing on my record."

"You say that there's no evidence, not that you did not commit any wrong acts."

"Hey, the villagers won't prank themselves, you know?"

"Is that an admission of guilt?"

"Not at all."

The two blue-eyed blondes locked gazes, the older, taller one with his arms crossed over his chest and his face set on a thoughtful frown, while the younger, shorter, hotter one…

' _ **Heh, way to toot your own horn!**_ '

' _S-shut up, Kurama! That internal monologue wasn't meant for you!_ '

… **HOTTER** one kept eating his fruit peacefully, now working on devastating a pear, his gaze unwavering, yet nonchalant.

Then, Inoichi broke the silence.

"Were you being honest when talking to that Iwa woman?"

Naruto gave him an outraged look, before answering in an equally outraged tone.

"Of course I was! Do you think I'm the kind of person to make a promise they won't fulfill?"

Watching Naruto's response and body language, Inoichi let out a small nod, before favoring Naruto with a small, genuine smile.

"A genuine person like you is a rarity in today's world, Uzumaki-san."

"No need for that 'Uzumaki-san' crap, Ino's dad, my name is Naruto! Na-ru-to!"

Shaking his head lightly, his small smile turning somewhat wistful as he thought back to memories of a certain red-haired, friendly, irreverent young woman, and a charismatic blond man who inspired trust in others, Inoichi responded in a tone with more tenderness and fondness than anyone would've thought he would for a first meeting with anyone.

"Very well, I shall call you by your given name, as long as you call me by my own as well. Is that fine with you, Naruto?"

"Sure, Girly-hair!"

Sweatdropping heavily, and with a massive vein throbbing on his forehead, Inoichi angrily thought to himself.

' _A trait from_ _ **her**_ _that he could have done without… But as they say, blood stays true…_ '

Inoichi's angry face changed into one of remembrance again, before he let out a rueful chuckle and spoke up.

"Why couldn't my baby girl have fallen for someone like you, instead of that Uchiha boy?"

Tossing away the peel of the banana that Inoichi hadn't noticed him ever starting out on, Naruto tilted his head to the side, before responding.

"Ehhhhhhh~… I'm actually pretty glad that Ino doesn't have a crush on me. Whenever she's talking about ' _Sasuke-kun~_ ' she gets this scary look in her eye… Thank Log I don't have to deal with that."

His sentence was followed by a full-body shudder, while Inoichi could only stream tears inwardly.

' _Why me?_ '

Not being the one with freaky mind-invasion powers, Naruto was unaware of Inoichi's thoughts as he shrugged again, before absentmindedly speaking out loud.

"That's one of the few aspects that I pity Sasuke on, you know. I mean, he's a bastard and all, but having girls chasing after you 24/7, constantly shrieking in his ears, claiming to love him without even knowing him… Pretty sad."

Inoichi listened to Naruto's words with interest.

"If I had to have a… _Fangirl_ … then the best possibility would be someone not really disruptive. On the other hand, they say that it's the quiet ones you should be wary of, and I read enough novels and manga advertising the dangers of a Yandere, so… Yeah, terrifying. Thank god I don't have to worry about fangirls."

 _ **-Training Field 8, Team 8 training session-**_

Hinata froze in the middle of a palm strike towards Kiba, causing the Inuzuka clan member to falter, and the Kurenai and Shino to focus on her, worried about any possible reason that could have caused her to stop.

Suddenly, they saw a dangerous glint light up in her eyes that sent a sense of unmitigated terror down their spines, before vanishing altogether in an instant, prompting the members of team 8 to ask themselves if it was ever there in the first place.

Each of them disregarded it as nothing more than a trick of their mind, though the sheer fear they felt for a second lingered in their subconscious.

 _ **-T &I Dungeons-**_

Naruto felt a massive chill go down his spine, one mimicked by Kurama, before speaking in his mind.

' _I just totally jinxed myself, right?_ '

' _ **Yep. Screwed the pooch good, you did.**_ '

' _Log damnit._ '

Watching the boy, Inoichi gave him a bemused look as he froze mid-step, his body shaking for an instant, before he started sweating copiously. Shrugging, the blonde man ignored this odd behavior as he exited the dungeons, making and discarding various plans to shift his daughter's affection towards a less… _Murder_ -y… character.

A second, even bigger shudder moved through Naruto's spine, causing him to cry inwardly at the impending feeling of doom.

 _ **-Training field 8… Again-**_

Having gone back to sparring with Hinata, Kiba was completely surprised when the kind Hyuuga got a look of murderous rage on her face, stepping in hard and covering the distance between the two of them in less than a second, delivering a staggering amount of Jyuuken strikes to his torso, blasting him backwards onto his back, letting out a pained groan.

The girl's face seemed to shift abruptly from anger to confusion, before settling into her usual shy expression, her fingers poking together as a blush covered her face.

Kurenai and Akamaru were giving Hinata incredulous, open-mouthed looks, while Shino adjusted his glasses a bit more jerkily than usual, his swarm buzzing louder than normal.

Kiba was still seeing stars on the ground.

That day, the entirety of team 8 decided to always do their best in accommodating Hinata, ease her edge off.

Plus, in case she cracked, at least she wouldn't see them as prey.

 _ **-The following day, Training field 10-**_

"Fucking unbelievable…"

Anko could only mutter in disbelief as Naruto stretched with an ease that she didn't display until her 6th month of training with… _**Him**_.

It was nowhere near her level of nimbleness of flexibility, but to get this far in a single week… The kid was freaking unbelievable!

"That's freaking unbelievable!"

…And she made sure that Naruto knew her thoughts.

The blonde gave her a knowing smile even as he pulled his right arm over and behind his head, grabbed it with his left hand, and then _stretched it_.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, unbelievable and me go hand in hand."

' _ **Unbelievable and**_ **I**.'

' _Yeah, you're pretty amazing too, Kurama!_ '

' _ **No, I meant- You know what, never mind.**_ '

Coming out of his mental conversation, Naruto turned towards Anko.

"So, what're we doing today?"

The purplette rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she thought out loud.

"Well, I'd take you back to the dungeons, but the other interrogators are complaining about you taking their jobs, and Ibiki might not want to let you leave…"

Naruto sweatdropped at that, while Anko kept speaking.

"I'd take you to one of my favorite stomping grounds, but it's currently being prepared for an important even pretty soon. Normally I don't care about stuff like that, but the old man made me promise that I wouldn't take you there so soon, so… I guess we're getting a mission!"

"We're not doing… _D-ranks_ , are we?"

Naruto's use of the term 'D-rank' simultaneously spoke of fear, respect, disgust and consternation. Reveling on Naruto's uncomfortable status, a mirror to her own a few days earlier, Anko let a silence stretch out between the two of them, before quelling his fears.

"Nah, brat. I get my way, and we're going straight for…"

 _ **-Hokage's office, 15 minutes later-**_

" **B-RANKS!? ARE YOU INSANE!?** "

Putting her thumb and forefinger together with a tiny gap between them, Anko drawled out.

" _Lil' bit_."

Iruka shook his head vehemently, his arms crossed over his chest in an X.

"No, Nu-Uh, Nope, Never!"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, the scarred chunin spoke up.

"He's just graduated the academy! As the dead-last, no less!"

Giving Naruto a somewhat sorry look, he kept speaking.

"Not to try and bring him down, but Naruto isn't ready for this! He didn't even have the time to be halfway, or a third of the way there! He's been a genin for less than a month. He hasn't even done a single D-rank! Heck, it'd be _less_ bad if you asked for a C-rank, but even then it'd be absurd, and foolhardy! It is total-"

"Do you truly believe him to be ready, Anko?"

Everyone in the room turned towards the pensive form of the Sandaime, Naruto with an expectant look, Anko with a confident one, and Iruka with a betrayed one.

"Lord Hokage, surely you aren't considering-…"

"Yeah, old man, the brat's good for a B-rank. I sparred with him a few days ago, and he genuinely gave me some work. This, added to the week that I've had to kick his ass into gear and improve his taijutsu, while he forced the basics into his own head via clones-"

And damn if Anko wasn't startled by _that_ amount of blondies, more chakra in use than she probably expended in a year.

"-And the work he put in T&I giving credence to his mental state and his stability, this verified by Inoichi himself make me believe that it wouldn't be too far-fetched to have him as my partner in an assignment of such level. Heck, he's probably Chunin-level at least in skill. Give him some field time for added experience, and if he keeps abusing this force multiplier, he could get as strong as me in say… 5-6 years."

Naruto gave the smugly grinning Anko a glare with no real heat behind it, while Hiruzen only smiled inwardly at the interactions between the two, seeing Anko and Naruto truly opening up to one another, without the former's constant 'psycho-bitch' persona - ' _Well, at least I think it's a persona. No, yeah, it's a persona. Probably. Maybe._ ' - being on display, and without Naruto's overly loud and noisy side putting in a presence, despite his natural… exuberance, making it easier for him not to inadvertently annoy or irritate people on a short-term basis, and getting him higher results for his 9 in Charisma in making friends and allies quickly, and easily.

Nodding at that, Hiruzen spoke up.

"I will respect the opinion of one of my best and most loyal and give the two of you a B-rank…"

Iruka's eyes almost fell off his face from how wide they were, Anko smirked widely and Naruto was doing some odd dance in the corner of the office, causing the ANBU to collectively sweatdrop, before Hiruzen spoke up in a stern tone.

"But remember that it is your responsibility to guide him for the duration of the mission, Anko. Mind your mutual limits, do not take unnecessary risks, and cover each other's backs. If I discover that any of you got hurt for something avoidable, I will be much… _displeased_."

The manner in which Hiruzen said the last word sent chills down everyone's spines, causing Naruto and Anko to nod rapidly.

Sighing in exasperation and worry, Iruka placed his hand on Naruto's head and ruffled the blonde's hair, managing to get a half-hearted scowl from him in the process, before speaking up.

"Come back in one piece, okay? I want my ramen-eating partner intact."

Naruto gave Iruka a thumbs up paired with a massive grin, a glint of light reflecting off of his teeth and causing everyone in the room to recoil in slight horror as he inadvertently mimicked the nice guy pose, before he spoke up in a booming tone.

"Don't worry, Iruka-sensei! I'll kick so much ass during this mission that it won't even be funny! Whether it be in fighting, hiding, getting information or even running away, I'll do all of it with the most effort I can! My _**YOUTH**_ shall burn bri-"

Naruto's words were interrupted when Anko gave him a good whack with the blunt end of a Kunai to the back of the head, causing the blonde to trip in place, before blinking back into awareness.

Looking up as he rubbed the back of his head, Naruto spoke up to the horrified-looking people in the room.

"Oh man, what happened to me? One second we were talking about me kicking ass, the next one I've got a huge headache."

Hiruzen leaned forwards in worry, examining Naruto's eyebrows to make sure they weren't growing, and his hair to make sure it wasn't taking the shape of a bowl, before speaking up.

"Do you not remember what happened in the last few seconds, Naruto-kun?"

Shaking his head with visible frustration, Naruto answered.

"Not really. Ever since I started taking my training seriously, I've had these lapses of seconds in my memory."

Everyone blanched further at that, with Hiruzen getting a feeling that Minato's picture was, despite its friendly-looking smile, glaring at him. Making use of this lull in the conversation, Naruto decided to consult with his friendly neighborhood voice-in-his-head.

' _Hey Kurama, what happened?_ '

' _ **G-green… So much green…**_ '

Sweatdropping at the fox's traumatized tone, Naruto broke the silence again.

"So, I'll just go and get my stuff ready for the mission. I'll… Yeah."

And like that, he left the office.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Iruka, Hiruzen and Anko traded equally horrified looks, with Hiruzen speaking up with a level of panic and hysteria in his voice.

"W-we must not allow this to happen! Anko, I want you to make sure to destroy anything related to youth in Naruto's possession! Make sure he and Gai don't get extended periods of contact. If Gai tries to corrupt Naruto, beat the crap out of him! We'll have to sort out this situation after you guys return from your mission."

That said, Hiruzen plucked a scroll from the B-rank stack and flicked it at the still-horrified Anko, whom snagged it out of the air out of sheer instinct, before making her way out of the office in a daze.

Hiruzen pulled out his pipe and hastily and unsteadily loaded in his tobacco, while Iruka pulled out a set of prayer beads from somewhere in his person and started asking for help from anyone willing to listen.

Thus ended the weirdest mission assignment in Konoha's history.

 _ **-Chapter End-**_


	8. High Heels and Gang Stars

_**Disclaimer: Not mine! Don't sue!**_

 _ **-Musgaku Gai, Fire Country-**_

"Well hello there, sexy~"

A blonde-haired, blue-eyed bombshell, wearing a short-cut, skin-tight red dress that left little to the imagination favored the man offering her a drink with a smile somewhere between demure and wanting, causing his self-important ' _Aura_ ' to increase in both amount and severity as he sat down across from her.

He slid the glass over the table top and towards her, watching her dainty, soft-looking fingers wrapping around the it, the impeccably cared for, red-painted fingernails getting more than just a bit of attention from him. She raised the colorful looking drink to her full, cupid-bow lips – painted in lipstick in a soft tone of purple – and took a tiny sip, smacking her lips together as she savored the taste.

' _This is… actually really good! Pretty sweet, with a hint of strawberry… deliciously fruity!_ '

' _ **You're the fruity one in this situation, brat.**_ '

By now, all of you noticed that Naruto, using his sexy jutsu, was flirting with some guy at some bar. Before you accuse him of some degree of sexual deviancy, please allow me to explain the why's and how's.

It's for a good reason, I swear!

 _ **-Earlier that week, Konoha-**_

"So, what're the mission parameters, Anko-sensei?"

Trying to shrug off the traumatic memory of watching her student's… _Youth-_ efied form, Anko tossed the mission scroll to Naruto, checking and double-checking her pouch of food and blood pills.

"Investigating disappearances, huh…"

Nodding at that, Anko added on.

"Well, usually this sort of mission would've been a C-rank, but since the location is a city rife with Yakuza action… Well, as long as you don't fuck up, or act all cocky, then you shouldn't come anywhere near death."

"Hai, hai, Anko-sensei! Now, let's go!"

"Hey, I'm the damn teacher here! I say when we leave!"

"…"

"…"

"Can we leave n-"

"GO!" the purplette barked out, letting out a small huff at seeing the blonde's smirk.

' _He enjoys annoying people way too much… But my cute little minion isn't supposed to annoy_ me!'

Pushing away the mental whine, Anko picked up speed to catch up to Naruto, the two of them heading towards the town where the mission request had come from, **Morimo** _ **Gai**_.

 _ **-2 days later-**_

The blonde and purplette had reached the intended town, settled down at an Inn with little to no fuss, before making their way towards the mayor's office.

The office wasn't much to look at, being very Spartan in Nature. An old, beat-up desk, a stiff-backed chair behind it, stacks of paperwork precariously stacked up on the desk, and a ragged, worn-out old man interspersing his signing of pieces of paperwork with rubbing his forehead.

Anko cleared her throat lightly, causing the man to blink owlishly, his eyes gaining a level of focus they didn't possess before. He looked towards the two ninja, his eyes drifting automatically towards their forehead protectors, before letting out a sigh of relief.

"Finally, someone has answered our mission request, thank Kami!"

The purplette and the blonde traded looks, before changing their focus back to the old man, a question in their mutual gazes.

The Mayor sighed, rubbed his forehead again and then stood up, offering the two shinobi a small bow.

"Where are my manners? My name is Kaemon Manshiro. I am the mayor of this town you are currently in. Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?"

The two Konoha Nin waved off the man's offer, before Naruto spoke up.

"You said that someone had finally answered to the mission request. Has it been out for a long time?"

The old man seemed to gain a dozen extra years at that question, slumping back into his uncomfortable-looking chair and running his hand through the sparse white hairs on top of his head, before answering tiredly.

"This mission request has been out for a whole month.

A month and a half ago, people started going missing, the majority of which being women. Girls as young as 4 have been reported to have gone missing. After 5 disappearances in a single week, we asked the guards of the neighboring towns to help us. Some refused us outright, others came and tried to help, but left after a single week, claiming to be have suddenly become unavailable due to matters back home."

Hearing the old man's tone, Anko spoke up.

"Sounds like you don't believe that."

"I don't. This zone is 'quaint' for shinobi standards, not much interest for the ninja villages, yet it's still in fire country and not too far away from the capital, so the shinobi with the predisposition to cause problems avoid this place as much as possible. That also helps hold back Ronin, thugs and mercenaries of most kinds, so there's rarely any trouble.

Our only real problem is the Ogata family. They try to put on the image of a completely legitimate company, but they're sharks in the worst sense of the word. They're Yakuza, dealing in drugs, extortion, protection rackets and all manners of things.

One of their representatives came by during the week that our neighboring village sent aid, and suddenly everyone decides to go back all at once. I know that they did something, but there's no way to prove it. They silence people either through fear or money, and since no one bothers to afford us real protection, we're at their mercy."

Rubbing his chin, Naruto spoke up.

"So you sent for Konoha ninja, knowing that we don't really fear the Yakuza and their methods."

The old man nodded at that, before Anko spoke up.

"So, do you think this Ogata family has something to do with the disappearances?"

Manshiro scowled at that, answering in a tone more hostile than he probably intended to.

"I wouldn't doubt it if those no-good Scoundrels were involved in this!"

Anko nodded at that, before speaking.

"Don't worry old man, we'll do our best to make sure you get your people back, and to try and prevent this from happening again."

With that said, Naruto and Anko returned to their hotel rooms to plot and plan.

The blonde sat down on one of the old, worn-out armchairs in their room, while Anko occupied one of the beds. The purplette spoke up.

"Okay kid, first objective is to collect information. We have to get as much as possible about the Ogata family. Since the victims come from various different families, from different age ranges, then we can presume that the only factor connecting them is their gender, female."

Naruto's eyes sharpened at that, his hackles rising as he asked the question he probably did not want an answer to.

"W-what does that mean, exactly?"

Anko's own eyes darkened as she answered.

"Sexual exploitation and slavery."

Naruto grit his teeth tightly at that, even as he spoke.

"The old man said that even young girls have gone missing."

"Yeah, it's pretty bad. We need to act fast."

Nodding at that, the two decided on a course of action. Naruto would go to the town hall and try to find as much of the publicly available information about the Ogata family and their collaborators as possible, while Anko went around the city, visiting watering holes and the sort to see how much info she'd be able to gather.

After two days of investigation, the two had managed to get some documents detailing the Ogata corporation in the town.

The two decided to infiltrate during the night, with Anko's experience and training, and Naruto's natural talent in all matters mischief allowing them to easily avoid detection.

 _Not that there was much to evade, only 3 untrained, almost-sleeping thugs_.

The blonde prankster barely withheld a scoff. He had a tougher time getting past overzealous housewives.

The two made their way through a storage area, seeing crates upon crates stacked and arrayed together inside a large storage room. Moving past it, they found a small office room.

The two tore the room apart looking for clues ( _In shinobi standards, which meant that a certain paperclip happened to be a millimeter to the right of where it originally was_ ), finding nothing relevant until Anko noticed a hidden safe.

Under the floorboards. Which were covered by a rug. Which was located under the office's desk.

 _Totally_ not suspicious. There's absolutely _zero_ chance that if someone had some illegal documents they didn't want anyone to know of, they'd store them in said safe.

The two Konoha Nin analyzed the safe, taking note of its various security features.

It seemed to bear an amalgamation of a combination lock, numeric pad and good-old-fashioned pin tumbler locks, which had Anko scratching her head just from looking at it. The purplette turned to her disciple, already planning on having him haul the heavy ass contraption away from the room via clones so they could go explode it somewhere else, when she saw the massive grin on the blonde's face.

Cracking his knuckles, Naruto lightly pushed Anko out of the way as he walked towards the safe.

The purplette could only watch in wonder as he pressed his ear on the door, his fingers on the opposite side of it, and then pushed his chakra into it.

After a set of steps that she absolutely did not understand…

' _Where the hell did he even get that coal from? And did he wipe a banana on the door?_ '

Anko was rewarded by a small 'click' from the door, signaling it's unlocked status. She looked incredulously at the blonde, who responded by giving her a salute, before she opened the door all-the-way and retrieved both the wads of cash ( _And they weren't few_ ), and manila folders.

Opening the folders, Anko started reading through the cargo manifests with a thoughtful frown mirrored by Naruto. Swiping everything else from the safe, checking the walls, drawers and desks, and even the hole the safe was in originally for anything else ( _Jackpot, lotsa money!_ ), the two finally decided to extract from the area, but not before knocking out the goons stationed there and setting the place on fire.

Back in their hotel room the compared the items in the manifest within the safe and the ones within the locked desk drawer, finding a disturbing discrepancy in the papers.

"The papers from the safe talk about cargo being moved to another one of their storage areas, in _**Musgaku Gai**_. Cargo that never got checked in through customs. That just so happened to be stocked at the same time as the first few disappearances started. The amount of these 'cargo crates' also happens to be the exact same as the amount of people who went missing."

Naruto was pacing around the room, almost wearing a hole into the admittedly thin carpet ( _Hey, frugality means money saved!_ ), while Anko just thought about the next move. There was only one thing they could do in this situation, really.

"We need to go to _**Musgaku Gai**_."

Anko turned towards Naruto, her voice unusually serious as she answered.

"You read my mind, brat. We leave tomorrow."

 _ **-The following Day-**_

It was a 2 day journey from _**Morimo**_ to _**Musgaku Gai**_ , before the two Konoha Nin could settle down in their new temporary HQ, before planning out their next move.

Giving the papers another look, Anko spoke thoughtfully.

"The papers mention a date, which is in 3 days, and a place, which is here. It's probably when the 'new cargo' is getting moved from here. We need to make sure this doesn't happen. Last town over, we didn't have a single care because our opposition wasn't active in the area. That storage unit was unimportant in the large scale of things, so they left as few as they possibly could. This time we'll be dealing with actual Yakuza. Vicious, bad-tempered, and with a willingness to cut.

Since neither of us want a tongue-lashing from the old man… Or worse… We'll avoid conflict as much as possible. No matter how boring things will be. You know what that means, brat!"

"A stakeout." The blonde sighed out in exasperation, knowing the boredom of such due to personal experience. Sure, he did it more than a few times, and he was good at it, but it didn't mean it wasn't boring!

 _ **-Night, Ogata Brewery-**_

"Boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredborebore-"

" _ANKO, WILL YOU KNOCK IT OUT!?_ "

Giving the blonde a sideways glace due to his whisper-shout, Anko shrugged, before whispering back.

" _But I'm really, really bored! I wish there was something to do to pass time! Like a card game, or something!_ "

' _A card game, huh…_ ' the blonde thought to himself, an idea percolating in his mind, before the sight of a figure walking out of a back door into a dark, piss-smelling alley got his attention, alongside his teach-… Partner's.

Having received the gift of night vision from Kurama, Naruto handed the binoculars to Anko and simply focused chakra into his eyes to be able to see the moderately far away figure.

It was a man with blonde-dyed hair, the brown roots showing through lightly, pale skin, smooth skin with no sun burns or scars. He was wearing an expensive-looking, white fur coat over a white dress shirt with a black jacket over it, black dress pants and brown shoes.

" _That's the target_ " Anko whispered in Naruto's ear " _Ogata Kakeru, detailed somewhat in the cargo manifests. His reputation as a womanizer precedes him, so we'll resort to seduction, try to get as much information from his as possible._ '

 _ **-Musgaku Gai, Bar-**_

Which led to Naruto, under his female transformation, flirting with the target.

As Kakeru returned to the bar to get another drink for himself, Naruto whispered into his discreetly-placed earpiece, disguised as an earring.

" _I still don't understand why_ you _couldn't take care of the seduction part._ "

Anko snorted, before responding.

" _I'm the most experienced one of the two of us, my observational skills will help more from a distance. I can warn you if any trouble goes your way so you know to run, and act as cover for you._ "

Before he could call bullshit on Anko's excuse, Naruto… Well, _Naruko_ … shifted her focus back to the man that sat across from her.

 _Him_?

' _GAH, THIS IS SO FREAKING CONFUSING! TROUBLESOME!_ _ **UNYOU-**_ '

' _ **NOPLEASESTOP!**_ '

Re-focusing due to Kurama's exclamation, Narut- _ko_ kept up her inane, vapid flirting with the target, making sure to show a bit more of her bosom than necessary, as well as twirl her hair around her finger and bite her lower lip while facing him.

Hey, if he was going to do something, he'd do it properly, 'ttebayo!

Noticing that things were getting a bit too heated as the target attempted to paw at… her… Naruko made a production of checking her watch, before turning towards him and giving him a teasing pout.

"Oh pooh, I have to go meet a friend right now!"

Not one to miss out on what he believed to be a very receptive woman, Kakeru handed Naruko a small card.

"Be at club Jianshu at 9 and show them this card. The guys will send you my way, as my plus one."

Batting her eyes at him, Naruko made her way out of the bar, disappearing down a corner, before stepping into a dark alley.

10 seconds later, an amused Anko found herself in the presence of a highly annoyed blonde. Unable not to rub it in, Anko spoke.

"Wow, you're so charming that _dear Kakeru_ never noticed you didn't even exchange names. You're better at this pick-up business than I am, I guess."

Raising an eyebrow, Naruto responded.

"Maybe you should consider the fact that you suck so bad that even a guy can pull in more guys than you?"

Shrugging and giving a rueful grin, the snake summoner answered.

"Set myself up for that one, didn't I?"

"Indeed, you did."

Shrugging, the purplette moved away towards their hotel room, prompting the blonde to follow after her, intent on planning their next few moves properly.

 _ **-9PM, Club Jianshu Entrance-**_

Naruko, decked out in a black, formfitting dress not too dissimilar from the red one from earlier with the exception of the side slits revealing more of her thighs, blonde hair arrayed in luxurious curls, blue eyes perfectly outlined by mascara in a manner that enhanced hem without hiding their shape, a light dusting of blush, purple eyeshadow and black high heels was turning faces from both men and women as she made her way past the line of people waiting for entry into the extremely exclusive club.

Next to her was another stunning beauty, purple hair done in a messy bun with a few strands falling loose, tube top with a short jacket covering her shoulders and upper back, a short skirt that showed enough to make one drool, yet not enough to kill the mystery, smoky eye shadow and mascara around her light brown eyes, and a pair of black heels in the same vein as her companion. Her steps made it very obvious that she wore no bra.

"Ahem."

The big, muscular man in a black shirt and dark blue pants guarding the door was startled out of his admiring by the blonde goddess in front of him. Trying to get his stammering under control, he was surprised when she gave him a sheepish, friendly smile while presenting the card she had been given earlier.

"Mr. Kakeru told me to give this to you."

Giving the card a proper look, he saw that it was all on the up and up. Nodding towards the door, the guard allowed the two beauties in, causing outrage from more than a few of the women outside that were still being denied entrance.

Anko gave Naruko a massive smirk, receiving a small frown in response, before the two were accosted by a member of the staff, who directed them towards the Exclusive section, above the VIP and reserved only for the wealthiest and the best connected on the lawless side of things in the civilian community.

The doors opened inwards, revealing a row of plush armchairs and loveseats arrayed in a horseshoe pattern around a modelling platform, with various different men, and a few women, occupying said chairs. More than a few of them were visibly Yakuza-types, with groups of tattoos over the entirety of their exposed skin with the exception of their face, various scars, missing teeth, mangled ears and noses, and more than a few missing fingers.

Others were the slick, weasel-y type, moving forward by selling out and backstabbing those cooperating with them and rising up in rank, only to find another one to do this to again, until they were well-positioned enough for their tastes.

More than a few of them were being flanked by women in various different states of dress, ranging from revealing dresses, to bikinis, to panties only.

One of the ladies was even totally nude!

They hung around their chosen 'patron' or 'matron', doing their best to cater to their wishes, some of them for money, others for drugs, and others for the sheer fact that they enjoyed the easy lifestyle.

Ignoring the disgust that welled up in the back of her - ( _His? ARGH, THIS IS SO CONFUSING!_ )

' _ ***Snort***_ '

' _NOT A WORD, KURAMA!_ '

-throat, Naruko put on a friendly smile as she hurried over towards Kakeru, her friend following after her at a slow pace, leering openly at the various sexy ladies in the room, before hugging the man.

"Kakeru-san, so good to see you!"

Pulling back from the hug, Naruko turned towards her company, waving an arm towards her as she spoke.

"This is the friend I was to meet earlier, Kana. Kana-chan, this is the cutie I told you about earlier!"

Kana looked Kakeru over, leaning in closer to look him over properly and to give him a whiff of her perfume, before looking him in the eye and trailing a finger over his neck, subtly tracing his jugular in a manner that went unnoticed by all except for Naruto who knew of her habits, before speaking in a sultry, sinful tone.

"I'm sure you'd taste deliciously~"

More than a few of the men present openly ogled 'Kana' from then on, while Naruko, who still remained unnamed, seemed to blush prettily, a flustered look on her face causing the lecherous men and women in the room to feel further excited, while Kakeru grinned smugly at having the most enticing company, who managed to affect everyone without having to shed a single piece of clothing between them.

The other 'attendants' collectively frowned at having their spotlight stolen, trying to regain the attention by moving in even more obscene, more enticing ways, losing even more clothing if possible, reducing more than a few of them to full nudity.

Naruto's mood-

' _ **Don't you mean Naruko's?**_ '

-Naruto's mood worsened when he saw the absolute depths these women went through just to get a bit of attention. Even the nee-san's back at the red light district in Konoha had more self-respect.

Under his Naruko front, Naruto forced a more severe blush onto his face at seeing some of the attendants kneeling in front of their masters/mistresses and doing… stuff… with their hands and mouths, while others skipped directly to bouncing on top of their laps.

He could see what was behind the eyes of the women, some of them wanted riches, others wanted to feed their habits, others simply wanted to be cared for and pampered, even if at the cost of their bodies.

But some, he could see, were trying to find acknowledgement. From anyone, in any way possible, they tried to get attention, acknowledgement, even if they went about it in the wrong way, as he one day did via his pranks.

But what angered him in that situation were the looks in the mobster's faces. Smugness, self-satisfaction, arrogance, all of those together.

To them, these weren't companions, despite the fact that more than a few of them were faithful and devoted servants for long time periods, noticeable by the marks on their bodies denoting years of service. They were objects, tools to be used and discarded at their own convenience.

Naruko's fist tightened, before she was surprised by 'Kana' when the woman grabbed her shoulder, forcefully turned her around and pulled her into a deep, sensual kiss, completely befuddling the blonde.

'Kana' pulled back from the kiss, resting her forehead on Naruko's, before whispering low enough for only Naruko to hear.

" _Cool it, blondie. You were going to blow our cover._ "

Naruto blinked owlishly, emerging from his daze, nodding lightly in understanding. Anko's whispered " _Good._ " Was followed by 'Kana' leaning backwards, making a production of licking her lips and giving Naruko a salacious grin, while 'Naruko', once again, blushed brightly.

All of this was interrupted by a loud voice coming over the small speakers in the corners of the sound-proofed room.

" **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAAM'S AND SIRS, WELCOME TO THE** _ **AUCTION**_ **!** "

The attention of the various people around the room turned directly towards the curtain the red curtain which was illuminated by a spotlight, before a single figure stumbled into view. She was wearing only a pair of panties, a thick, steel choker attached to a chain locked around her neck. She tried to return to behind the curtain, before being pushed back out.

Trembling and with tears trailing down her face, the brown-haired woman tried covering herself with her arms, only for her chain to get tugged, causing her to fall on the ground. Another tug and a harsh whisper had her standing up on trembling legs, before walking up to the end of the platform, her form in full view of everyone in the room.

" **Here we can see a fine specimen from our very own fire country! At 23 years old, this one can fulfill a multitude of roles! From maid, to caretaker, to bed warmer, she can do it all! Bidding starts at 25!** "

A fat, old man with a pair of scars running down his nose and mouth raised his hand.

" **I see a 25! Can I get a 30? Anyone?** "

A 60-something year old woman garbed in a fancy, black and gold floral Kimono gave the woman on display a long, appraising look, like a farmer would give one of their prize-winning animals, before raising her own hand.

" **30 there! Is that a 35 I see back there? 35, anyone!?** "

The man kept talking, with the same few people raising their hand, until only the woman in the Kimono was left.

" **Going once! Going twice! Sold, to Lady Michi at 55 Thousand Ryo!** "

After that, women came and went, with prices being called out, hands rising and lowering, and then sales were finalized.

While 'Naruko' seemed to be perfectly calm, enjoying the same fruity drink from earlier in the bar and fawn over Kakeru, Naruto could only mentally clench a fist in anger. The drink going down his mouth tasted of nothing but bile and ash, and yet he held himself back using every single shred of restraint he had.

" **Here's a special treat, folks! Our men managed to get us a tasty little morsel here!** "

The curtain was pulled back only to reveal a 4 year old girl. She had green hair, pale skin, wore a yellow sundress with equally colored flat shoes, and her eyes and nose were red and swollen. It was obvious she had been crying very recently, her shoulders were still shaking as she looked around the room.

" **Bids starting in at 500.000 !** "

The speed at which more than one raised their hands to cover the bid absolutely sickened Naruto. He watched as pretty much everyone got involved in the bidding, with the value rising and rising.

" **I see 25 million! 25 five million here, going once, going twice…** "

"30 million!"

As the bidding continued, the girl looked more and more somber. She was clutching at the dress she wore with tightly-balled fists, her face lowered and obscured by her hair. Her shoulders shook with unsuppressed sobs.

"100 million."

The calm tone coming from a man that, if he had to be described in a word it would have been octogenarian, immediately had everyone else silent.

Said man had white, straight hair, reaching all the way to his shoulders and as well-kept as that of the Hyuuga clan members. His eyes were steel gray in color, and they reflected the sternness of his face, shown by the tight-lipped frown he had on show. He bore three parallel scars in the shape of some sort of animal claws running from his right eyebrow to the lower left side of his chin. He was garbed in a blood red kimono, with black markings all over it depicting a dark moon, in many various phases.

This was Kappon Auru, the boss of all Yakuza in the higher Gentsuki area, to the northernmost edge of fire country. His authority was recognized by everyone important in the criminal underworld, and when he said something, the best option was to obey.

This was the first and only bid he made the whole night, and it was one bid he would not lose.

100 million ryo aside, when Auru spoke, people _listened_. If he had bid only 50 ryo for the girl, then she'd be leaving with him anyway. Refusal to comply would lead to conflict, and if Auru died in the turf of another faction, a war of previously unknown severity would rip through the criminal underworld of fire country.

Not to say that killing him would be _easy_. Auru was, before becoming a mob boss, a successful shinobi. Having served Kumo loyally as a jounin, he was 'released from duty' due to an altercation with a member of the 'clan royalty' of Iwa that would have created unwanted tension between the two 'allied' countries.

In anger and frustration, Auru decided that he no longer wished his actions to be bound by the politics of others, so he vanished from Kumo, and went civilian, starting his criminal enterprise.

His ruthlessness, effectiveness and, quite surprisingly, trustworthiness, gained him a loyal following, which blossomed into the major faction that it was today.

" **O-one hundred million for Lord Auru. Going once, going twice…** "

Fat tears fell from the girl's eyes, staining the platform under her.

"STOP IT YOU BASTARDS!"

Everyone turned their attention to Naruko who seemed to be breathing deeply in anger. Her chest heaved with each breathing cycle, while her fist clenched tightly enough to draw blood.

'Kana' seemed to be torn between glaring a hole through Naruko, and lashing out on a rage of her own, settling on taking a step back to cover Naruko's back.

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU BASTARDS THINK YOU ARE, BARTERING WITH THE LIVES OF PEOPLE AS IF THEY WERE NOTHING MORE THAN FURNITURE!? Y-YOU ANIMALS WERE BIDDING FOR A LITTLE GIRL! NOTHING MORE THAN A CHILD!"

Kakeru stood up from his seat abruptly, under the watchful eye of everyone else in the room, his face a rictus of fury and embarrassment. He walked towards Naruko in heavy, measured steps, before raising his hand to strike her…

 ***CRACK!***

Only to find his wrist shattered within Naruko's own grip, her previously 'soft', blue eyes looking more like a storm of blue fire.

As the guards stationed around the doors started moving, 'Kana' slammed a kick onto Kakeru's chest, sending him flying towards one of the windows, slamming through it and falling on the dance floor of the main area of the club.

Screams, shouts and shrieks filled the previously silent room, before the sounds of stamping feet filled the building, with the club goers running away from danger, and the hired bodyguards and mercs dashing towards the VIP room.

"I advise the two of you to calm down, ladies, before things get… nasty."

Ignoring the suggestion from the fat pig with sweat stains all over his clothes despite the air conditioning in the room, 'Naruko' reached under her skirt, withdrawing a handful of shuriken, while 'Kana' did the same with a Tanto.

Many large, muscular men burst in through the doors, armed with wakizashi, Tanto and even a few Katana, while others toted table legs, brass knuckles, or chains.

Without warning, the two women dashed towards the Yakuza bosses.

Naruko let loose the shuriken she had been clutching, nailing five of her targets, one of them to the throat. Landing softly, she turned on a dime only to block a sword slash from one of the bouncers using a Kunai, kicking his knee to get him off balance and bring him to the ground, before snapping a hard kick to his face that broke his jaw, knocking him out.

As this happened, five others had already surrounded her, while the rest of the mob bosses ran away in terror, with the exception of Auru who left at a regular walking pace.

'Kana' was contending with her own group of enemies, waving and weaving past clumsy attacks, retaliating with thrusts and slashes with her wielded Tanto.

Pushing back her attacker, 'Kana' flung a kunai straight towards his throat, ending his existence on a dime. The death of one of their own had the other bouncers wary, causing them to halt their attacks.

Big mistake.

In a blur of motion, 'Kana' had weaved through all of the enemies, the sound of her tanto slowly sliding into the sheath filling the sudden silence from her side.

When her blade clicked fully into its sheath, the room was covered in spurts of red as the enemies literally lost their heads.

Trusting Naruto to hold his own well enough, Anko made her way downstairs, dispatching a few more of the goons on her way.

Dashing outside of the club, she was witness to Auru flicking the blood of the last of the mob bosses from his katana, turning around to face her with a calm countenance.

Seeing the man's posture, Anko knew this was going to be the most dangerous fight in her life.

 _ **-With Naruto-**_

After having traded blows again with one of the guards, 'Naruko' decided to go all out, a puff of smoke revealing the true shape of the irate blonde.

The second of surprise in the guard's faces was enough for Naruto to jump upwards and spin 360 degrees, releasing a storm of Kunai and Shuriken at short range as he did, skewering all of the enemies.

Seeing more guards making their way up the room, Naruto went through his pouch and pulled out a small-yield bomb, wrapping it in kunai and razor-sharp wire before throwing it towards the stairs.

He heard the small ***THUMP!*** of detonation, followed by the pained gargling of people choking on their own blood, Naruto made for the window, jumping down and landing on top of the unconscious Kakeru. Dashing towards the exit, Naruto flicked his wrist, causing a Kunai to embed itself within Kakeru's forehead and ending him permanently, before slamming through the club's door, only to be met with the form of Anko, covered in blood and slashes, and worst of all, with a blade protruding from her back.

The world went into slow motion for Naruto as the blade was dragged back from Anko's torso, her body falling limply on the ground, a puddle of blood pooling on the ground under her, while Auru simply shifted in his stance, facing Naruto directly, his kimono void of even a single drop of blood.

Naruto saw red.

 _ **-Chapter, End! TBC!-**_

 **Hey people! Francogamerxz here, like usual. Mostly. Occasionally. Sometimes.**

 **Anyways, just wanted to say something to my readers, really.**

 **Please remember to leave a review for the story, and, if you haven't done it yet, a Follow and Favorite, as it helps me and my story reach a bigger audience.**

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 **Anyways, bye guys!**


	9. Clashing resolves, unsolved mysteries!

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE!**

 _ **-Konoha, Secret room-**_

"I am very glad all of you could make it here."

Morino Ibiki snorted loudly at that, his arms crossed as he leaned back into his seat.

"Well, when the Hokage requests for your presence in an, and I quote: ' _Emergency meeting with the safety and future of the village in mind_ ', you show up. Isn't that right, Inoichi? Dragon?"

The Yamanaka patriarch nodded, smirking slightly at Ibiki's words, while Dragon, the ANBU director, coordinator and leader did nothing to show their agreement, yet it was felt by the three other men in the room anyway.

Freaky, I know.

"Hokage-sama" Dragon spoke in a cold, concise yet ambiguous tone, one that kept people in doubt about the ANBU member's gender "No disrespect meant, but could you please be fast in explaining your need for us here? The induction and training of new members is scheduled for later this week, and there is much to do and plan."

Raising his eyebrow at Dragon, Hiruzen leaned forward onto the table, locking his fingers together and covering his mouth with his joined hands. Meeting the gaze of each of the people in the room, Hiruzen said a single word.

" _ROOT._ "

All traces of joviality disappeared from Inoichi and Ibiki's face, replaced by a sense of grim sobriety.

Dragon's reaction was simply to straighten out fully, the tiny traces of impatience that the three men in the room weren't sure even existed becoming less than a possibility, lost in the void.

Seeing his people looking sufficiently alarmed, Hiruzen spoke.

"You all know that I ordered Danzo to disband _ROOT_ sometime after the 3rd war, and back then it seemed that he had done so. But after the Kyuubi attack, I had allowed it to become active again, a necessary evil to keep the village safe I believed.

I became alarmed when it managed to come back into full functioning too fast for a program that had been completely defunct, but there was not much I could do about it. A few years after I gave Danzo the order to disband again, this time completely, but recent events have me believing that a member of our ow illustrious village has been harboring an illegal army under my own nose.

After a cursory look upon many of the documents in the archives, and checking some dates with particular events which could have had a different outcome had I not been occupied with this or that crisis that was _much_ too convenient in timing, I have come to the conclusion that not only Danzo has _ROOT_ still active, but that he also has members of his little faction, or collaborators, positioned well within various sectors of our village's functioning, loyal to him above their Hokage, or their village. That is unacceptable."

A somber mood fell onto the people in the room, with Ibiki and Inoichi mentally working through the full implications of this information, about how much sensitive info their departments gather that could have been reaching the wrong hands, how much the village could have already been harmed by this.

"I am yours to command, Hokage-sama. What do you need me to do?"

Hiruzen shifted his gaze towards Dragon, the one to have broken the silence, before looking towards the other two, seeing similar looks of resolve in their faces. Nodding to himself in satisfaction, Hiruzen responded.

"We will be doing an in-depth sweep of the village. Every single department which has anything to do with our shinobi, or that is indispensable for the proper functioning of the village is going to be thoroughly checked. From administrative matters to financial ones, even the academy and orphanages, I want you to check everybody who isn't in a list of vetted individuals I shall be giving you.

You have free reign on how and when you will be doing your checks, but anything and everything you learn of is to meet my hands directly, or, in my absence, Dragon's."

The three people in the room nodded at that, prompting Hiruzen to speak up.

"Is there anyone that you would advise bringing into this endeavor?"

None of the three hesitated as they spoke simultaneously.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

They then proceeded to trade surprised looks, with Hiruzen's own showing on his face. Composing himself, the old Hokage cleared his throat to get the people present settled down, before speaking up.

"Not that I don't feel happy or proud that the three of you so promptly trust Naruto to bring him into this venture, but I'd like to hear valid reasons for this trust you have in him. This is not small matter, and you all know this, so make sure that your arguments are valid and logical."

The three stopped for a moment to collect their thoughts, before Ibiki spoke up.

"This project is going to require the careful processing and handling of much information, the interrogating and interviewing of many people, and a good eye for detail. Surprisingly, Uzumaki is one of the best possible interrogators we have here. He showed the remarkable ability to make our prisoners crack in an obscenely short amount of time, with… unorthodox methods, to be polite. Speaking more candidly, the things he did were absolute bullshit and had no logical reason to work, and yet they did regardless.

The only reason I chose him and not Anko is the fact that Anko likes to be very physical in her information extraction, and we do not want the shinobi and Kunoichi that are loyal and innocent of traitorous acts traumatized for life."

Hiruzen nodded at that, before turning towards Inoichi, who took his cue to speak up.

"Aside from what Ibiki has already said, I see another good use of Naruto-san's skills. According to what I know of _ROOT_ , their members are conditioned to be unfeeling, inhuman machines, working only for the end result of the mission.

Naruto-san happens to have the ability to elicit genuine and profound emotional reactions from people, be they positive or negative. Subjecting people to him for extended periods of time will eventually allow me to separate regular people, and those with great emotional control, from unthinking, unfeeling machines, no matter how good they are at putting on human faces."

Dragon was the next to be put on the spotlight, speaking in the usual concise, utilitarian-focused tone.

"There is no-one in this village that knows about our infrastructure and its faults than Uzumaki Naruto, fact proven repeatedly by the fact that he has never been apprehended for a prank that he did not want to before. He seems to find ways to transport extremely high amounts of materials, many of which should possess traits that would alert our various shinobi, such as intense smells, or bright colors, yet he goes undetected.

He managed to get an entire system of pulleys and scaffolds set up around Hokage mountain in a single night, painted the entirety of the stone faces, and was only found out because he himself purposefully alerted the village.

For any underground organization to be able to function properly without being caught, they need to know which paths they can take, where they can store their materials, where they can house their numbers, and various other such things. Uzumaki Naruto is the perfect person to help us unearth these spots, with his uncanny ability to do so himself.

The fact that he manages to perform acts that baffle the investigative skills of our top experts, bypass security systems and target sensitive areas without leaving a shred of evidence means that the enemy wouldn't know to target him as his name would be unknown during the entire process.

And, most important of all, while Uzumaki Naruto may not show the same devotion towards the village that he showed just a short while ago, something that I have noted in his interactions with its people, he still shows an unwavering level of trust and devotion towards you, sir. If there is one person who could be trusted, outside of this group, not to let the information reach enemy hands, it is him."

Hiruzen nodded lightly at that, and while outwardly stoic, inwardly he was anything but.

' _Naruto, to think that you have garnered such favor with some of the topmost members of the village's functioning… You seem to have inherited your parents' charisma. Minato and Kushina would've been proud of you…_ '

 _ **-Musgaku Gai, outside Club Jianshu-**_

Naruto leaped towards his enemy at full strength, covering the space between the two of them in less than two seconds, before lashing out with a kunai slash aimed for the neck, which was easily deflected by Auru's Katana, causing a shower of sparks to emerge between the two.

Seeing his opponent unmoved and unaffected, Naruto grit his teeth in anger before jumping backwards, going through various handsigns, breathing in as he did, before ending in a Tiger handsign and exhaling.

" _ **Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu! (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)**_ "

A large fireball, easily 10 feet across sped towards Auru, who reacted by whipping his sword across the middle of it, causing it to split into two and travel past him, splashing into a brick wall a few feet away from them and exploding, causing bits of the red substance to rain above the two.

Naruto joined his hands together to use his favorite Jutsu, a cloud of smoke emerging around him before it was split by the motion of a fire shuriken being thrown towards him, launched from one of the 5 blondes that were now across from him.

The clones hadn't stopped, running after the giant shuriken, ready to attack their enemy, prompting Auru to dodge the giant projectile, before he was attacked by 2 of the blondes. He watched the remaining two make another set of handsigns, prompting him to dispatch the two clones attacking him before the jutsu could be thrown his way. He crouched lightly, ready to jump away from the jutsu, only to find himself being tackled from behind, a pair of arms wrapping tightly against his own and keeping them parallel to his torso, unable to move.

Two fireballs with twice the size of the original one streaked towards the old Yakuza boss, the flames so hot they burned almost white-hot, causing the ground under them to turn into molten slag and the air around them to warp into a haze, before impacting with a massive explosion.

Peering attentively into the dust that had been raised by the explosion in order to check for the enemy's presence, Naruto was surprised by the voice that came from right behind him.

"It seems I have allowed you enough time to put in an effort. It is time I retaliate."

Naruto made a 180 in a dime, barely managing to deflect the blow that would've made a severe cut on his chest into a graze to his face, a thin line of red now running perpendicular to the whisker marks on his right cheek. That was followed up by a veritably flurry of sword strikes, slashes and thrusts which Naruto only barely managed to redirect time and time again, leaving his body and clothes riddled with gashes of varying severity and splotches of vivid red.

Auru was surprised by the young blonde's tenacity. Normally, anyone else in his position would've already gone down from the blood loss of the collective cuts, or due to the pain they were feeling, yet the child didn't even slow down or waver in his deflections.

Then, the old man noticed some of the older cuts starting to seal themselves closed, what seemed like steam lightly emerging from them as they did.

' _Ah, so that's what it is._ '

Forcing the child into a blade lock, Auru proceeded to surprise the boy by kicking him away, attacking him without his blade for the first time in the entire fight.

"Very good, to think that a high-speed regeneration bloodline like yours existed… You probably recover your stamina extremely fast as well, which is why you're probably still standing despite the fact that I've been gradually forcing you to increase your pace to keep up with me."

Naruto recovered from the kick that had driven the wind out of him, taking the time to regain his breath and recover more of his stamina, his gaze not moving from the unruffled old man.

' _Shit, I'm completely outmatched here! I already pulled the trick of the clone transforming into a weapon, so it probably won't work again, and the fact that he can dodge two fireballs moving as fast as they were even while being grabbed by a clone means that none of my jutsu of C-rank and above will probably touch him…_ '

"But I am more than just a bit disappointed, you know. That woman you were with… she had no fancy bloodline limit like you to keep her moving, yet she pushed me further than you have so far. Perhaps I shall rouse her, even injured she should give me a better fight than you."

The amount of rage Naruto felt was enough to overwhelm Kurama's negative emotion sensing for a second, causing the fox to wince hard. He felt Naruto trying to draw on a sizeable amount of his chakra, enough to destroy his unused body from the inside out, and he actually let out a sigh of relief as he watched the seal hold back most of said chakra, letting only what was a relative trickle through.

However, that trickle was enough for now.

Auru could only watch in fascination as Naruto's injuries, which were healing at a steady rate, suddenly close themselves completely at an even higher speed, a larger amount of steam being released from his body.

The boy's clothes started waving in non-existent wind, his shoulder-length spiky hair flying upwards, it's spikes splitting themselves further from the existing groups and becoming jagged and animalistic; his whisker marks thickened considerably, his canines growing in a noticeable manner, his fingernails lengthened and sharpened into dangerous-looking claws, and a red color bled into his irises, with his pupils turning into slits.

"Fascin-"

The old man stopped mid-word, his sword parrying the razor-sharp claws that had been on course for his throat, surprising him due to the sparks flying from the clash, as they had been earlier.

' _So the boy's… claws… are as sharp and durable as Kunai? No, even more so, they aren't receiving the stress cracks his kunai were from clashing with my sword._ '

That move was followed by a series of animalistic slashes at what was easily a low-jounin speed, forcing Auru to increase his pace as well.

A puff of smoke above the blonde was all the warning the old man had to jump backwards, a second blonde having pierced the ground where he previously stood with his claws alone, before the original pounced at him, ready to eviscerate him.

Auru avoided that by hopping backwards repeatedly, watching with a level of fascination as the child kept speeding up. However, he could see the stress building up on the boy's body as his muscles seemed to be spasming continuously.

Having noticed that the spasms were increasing in speed and intensity, Auru took a bigger hop back than before, positioning his feet properly on the ground for his next move. As the blonde pounced towards him, his air time bigger due to the larger distance, Auru _blurred_.

He appeared a few feet behind Naruto, a gleam of silver light trailing after him, before he flicked his blade to the side, the blood on it splattering onto the ground.

A gush of red emerged from the blonde's chest, coinciding with the fading of power in his body, the red-hot energy coursing through him having been fully expended. With his body back to normal with the exception of what would definitely become a scar, Naruto fell to his knees, his strength sapped almost completely.

Naruto happened to be positioned to face Anko, and instead of anger, he felt despair now. Would his weakness kill both him and one of his precious people?

Leaning forwards in an attempt to reach her, Naruto fell forwards, his legs screaming rebelliously at him, only for a wave of pain to flare as his wound made solid contact with the ground.

Hissing at the pain, Naruto clutched the wound with one arm, endeavoring to stop the blood flow, while using his other arm to drag himself towards Anko.

Despite the fact that his arms were protesting as much as his legs had been, Naruto powered through it, painstakingly making his way towards his teacher, and one of his first true friends.

"Incredible… For you to still be conscious after that strike, your bloodline really is a fearsome one."

Naruto ignored the hated voice of the old man, reaching Anko and trying to climb over her to check on her own injury.

"However" the man kept speaking "It was not your bloodline that allowed you to reach your teacher, it was sheer tenacity. How admirable, of the new generation to fight so hard for their precious ones…"

Naruto turned towards the man, his stone-melting glare being one that would've put anything Sasuke could come up with to shame, before he spoke.

"And what the fuck do you know about precious people? A heartless piece of scum like you prob-"

"DO! NOT! Compare me to those… wretched piles of filth posing as humans. I find the act of putting a monetary value to the lives of people extremely… _distasteful_. I tend to avoid these little… events… and I make sure that none occur while in my family's territory. The only reason I came here today was because I heard of the girl.

And innocent young child like her is not to be put in reach of those who would try to use her to line their pockets by exploring the perversions of others, or for those who would try to groom and use her as nothing more than a sex slave!"

The man's incensed tone surprised Naruto more than the man's words, and he watched the old man take a deep breath to compose himself, before speaking up again.

"At first, I intended to only help the girl, but…"

The man seemed to turn slightly wistful, his eyes glazing over in a manner signifying him looking back upon his memories.

"Your eyes when you defended that child… They reminded me of myself, a long while ago."

The man leaned towards Naruto, meeting the boy's confused, yet fearsome look, before speaking.

"I used to be a shinobi too, you know. Jounin, in Kumo. I fought in the second and third wars, crossed fists with the likes of the professor and the yellow flash and survived to tell the tale. Had things kept going as they did, I could have possibly become a candidate for fourth Raikage, however…"

 _ **-Flashback, Start! -**_

 _In a small town in Grass country, during the 3_ _rd_ _war, a battle had just been fought._

 _Kappon Auru sighed, wiping the blood off of his blade. It had been a tough day of battle, and his squad had been fighting against a group of Konoha-nin which had been, surprisingly enough, backed up by Kiri-nin. It wasn't a planned thing, one could easily see that, it was more of an 'enemy of my enemy' scenario, and after they beat Kumo, they'd have probably fought against each other for the land they had 'liberated'._

 _Auru and his men were already prepared to die in combat, their last stand serving to slow down and weaken their enemies, when they were surprised by back-up._

 _They had allied themselves to Iwa, and it seems that it had been a good choice. The force of Rock nin had split itself in three, two smaller groups attacking Konoha and Kiri from the sides, while a larger one went around the back, cutting off their escape route._

 _The leader of the Iwa-nin, a man belonging to one of Earth Country's noble clans, was the one to give the order that lead to the deaths of thousands, but that was war._

 _Very few survived the attack, the majority of those few having been restrained and taken towards the impromptu interrogation area._

 _Auru happened to witness first-hand as the 'nobleman' from earth country walked towards one of the bound enemies, a brown-haired woman with a pair of red triangle marks on her cheeks, before saying something to her, and then gripping his crotch lecherously. The woman spat on his face in response, causing him to light up with anger, his shouts reaching Auru's ears._

" _That's it, you Leaf Scum! I tried to make this nice and easy, but I guess I'll have to see how much you dog-fucking bitches kick and fight whenever your partner isn't a four-legged mutt!"_

 _The man grabbed the woman's shirt, ripping the front of it off and revealing her breasts to him. As his hand was about to reach her, he was surprised by the gush of red that splashing on front of him, originating from the now-dead woman._

 _His eyes lit up angrily at the black-haired form of Auru, his dirty blade being the proof of him doing the deed, but Auru spoke up in a hard tone before the noble could._

" _We. Don't. Rape. Killing, torturing, stealing, those are all necessities of war. But we do not rape. We may be taking each other's lives, be we shall not take away their humanity, or dignity."_

 _The killer intent he released was enough to scare the rest of the group straight, any thoughts of violating the enemy Kunoichi instantly forgotten. Even the few captured Konoha and Kiri-nin seemed to be looking at him with respect and gratitude. Grudging, but there still._

 _However, a man so easily capable of debasing a helpless prisoner, one who had been told from birth that he was above all others due to the fact that he heralded from a 'noble' clan wouldn't have allowed something like that to go freely, as it did._

 _All it took was him sending one letter towards his family, with mother than a few fabricated and embellished 'facts' for Auru to receive a dishonorable discharge from Kumo._

 _They had been taking good damage during the war, and didn't want any stress on the only alliance they had, so they preferred to cut loose a shinobi with years of loyalty and duty in his file._

 _That day Auru decided that he wouldn't let things such as politics, or fear stop him from doing what's right. He established himself as a watchful entity in the red light district of one of Fire country's northernmost cities, protecting the average person from Yakuza action, and halting violence between denizens of the district. Very soon, his skills and honor made him a target for the ruling 'Family', which he easily destroyed._

 _He was then accepted as the leader of the city's underworld, and he instituted his code of morals which was surprisingly popular for people coming from such poor areas, known to most regular people as immoral human beings._

 _Very soon, and without him noticing really, he had already become the leader of the entire northern sector, and his name was known by anyone and everyone with links to the Underworld._

 _ **-Flashback End-**_

Naruto's face showed a mixture of anger and grudging respect, causing the old man to chuckle at it. The chuckle reignited Naruto's anger, but Auru spoke up before the blonde could.

"My name is Kappon Auru. I would like to know the name of the one who fought so valiantly for the weak."

Seeing that the boy wasn't inclined to answer, Auru let out a sigh, before standing up fully and walking away.

"Uzumaki Naruto!"

The old man stopped mid-step, his ear perking up at that.

"Remember the name, old man. Uzumaki Naruto, the one who's going to punch your face in next time we meet!"

' _Uzumaki, huh? Heh._ '

"I look forward for our next meeting, so grow stronger… Son of the Yellow Flash."

Following that, Auru vanished in a shunshin. Naruto, shocked by the man's words, his head whirling from the various discoveries of the day, his mind fatigued from the various shocks of the day, more than a few of which came from him taking human lives for the first time, and his body weak from the blood loss could do no more than pass out on top of Anko, the running red staining the woman's clothes.

 _ **-To be Continued-**_


	10. Revelations and Reunions

_**Disclaimer: Not Mine!**_

 _ **-Konoha General-**_

"I feel like shit."

That was what Anko tried to say, but the only thing out of her mouth was a cough that illustrated just how parched her throat was. She felt a straw touch her lips and allowed it into her mouth, eagerly drinking down the cool water and making sure that her throat didn't feel as dry as the desert of Wind Country.

She slowly forced her heavy eyelids open only to blink with a wince at the blinding white light that assaulted her, blinking repeatedly in order to allow herself to get used to the amount of light in her room.

Trying to sit up, Anko winced at the pains she felt at about gut-level.

' _That's where I got stabbed by that old bastard._ '

The purplette took a fortifying breath to try and ward the pain away, before a thought moved through her mind.

' _Wait… Old Bastard…_ '

Her eyes widened as she forcibly threw herself into a sitting position with a shout of "BLONDIE!"

She knew that was a bed move by the sharp sting she felt around her injured area, but she forgot her pain at the voice that spoke to her.

"You wake up after a two-day coma and the first thing you do is shout my name? I'm starting to think that you have serious issues, Anko-sensei"

Anko froze, before her head turned towards the source of the voice. She was met with a widely grinning Naruto garbed in the white, Kimono-style robe afforded to the patients of the hospital, the torso of which was parted, revealing the fact that he had bandages wrapped around his chest.

The purplette spoke up in an unusually serious tone.

"Kid… What happened after I went down?"

Any trace of cheerfulness disappeared from Naruto's countenance, with him leaning forward and clutching at his bandaged injury, his headband-less hair falling over forward and shading his eyes as he answered in a somber tone.

"I got destroyed."

Anko kept her gaze on Naruto, seeing his hand clenching tightly around his bandages, his shoulders shaking lightly, though she couldn't really identify what brought _that_ about. Naruto, his thoughts fully turned in another direction, kept speaking.

"After seeing you go down, I… I got _mad_. I got angrier than I ever thought I was capable of. Seeing his sword running through you, and then watching him just drop your body and disregard it as if it were nothing, as if your blood on his blade meant nothing…"

By now Anko saw that his other hand was clenched so tightly that his fingernails cut into his palm, causing small rivulets of blood to flow freely down his white sleeve and onto the ground. The shaking of his shoulders intensified, and she was surprised when his face rose, their gazes meeting.

She saw a mixture of despair, self-loathing and sheer, all-encompassing rage burning in his eyes, but… All of that was directed towards himself.

"I snapped and attacked him directly, but nothing I had done bothered him. He was toying with me all along. When he talked about you I got mad enough that I used _hat_ power… But he still beat me. He absolutely an utterly destroyed me, and there was nothing I could do about it."

Having said that, Naruto seemed to deflate as all of his energy left him. He fell backwards onto his ass on the ground, his legs curling up lightly onto his torso, while he gazed at his hands desperately.

"I was too weak. Too stupid. Nothing I did was enough."

Anko kept silent, letting her charge expose his frustrations, his negative feelings, to her.

"I keep thinking back to the fight and asking myself if there would've been a different result if I had done things differently.

' _Would I have won if I flooded the clearing with clones? If I had an army of me running around, breaking stuff, attacking him or tossing around C-rank jutsu all at once? If I had more control of_ that p _ower, would things have gone differently? Could I have won if I were just a bit faster, stronger, smarter… If I had remembered to use the moves you showed me…_ '

But… No matter how much I think back on it, nothing I could've done would have lead to things turning out differently. I was just… weak. Too weak. And we almost died because of it."

After Naruto finished saying that, he clenched his eyes shut, waiting for Anko to act.

He expected her to agree with him, to berate him, swear, shout, anything like that.

He didn't expect to feel a fist lightly bump him on the head, before a pair of arms wrapped around him.

"You little idiot… If there was anyone at fault in that whole thing, as your superior and teacher, it was me.

I am the stronger, more experienced one between the two of us. It was _my_ responsibility to protect you, not the other way around. Remember that you're just a wet-behind-the-ears genin, and I'm a tried-and-true Tokubetsu jounin."

"B-but, Anko-"

"But nothing, brat. Fact of the matter is, we both got handily trounced by an old fart, and that is unacceptable. What we're going to do is get stronger. As strong as humanly possible, so strong that we'll be able to blow that old man away with just a look. That means that we'll be undergoing the tried and true ' _Training from Hell_ '. I can't promise you that by the time we're over you won't hate me."

Naruto gave Anko an easy smile, before it progressed into a massive grin, his eyes showing a mixture of mischief, fondness and unyielding determination at her words.

"While that is an admirable resolution-" the aged voice of Sarutobi Hiruzen interrupted, prompting Anko to look towards her room's door, seeing the old man favoring her with a genial smile while a curvaceous brunette behind him ticked things off in a list while mumbling about ' _stubborn blondes who won't stay in bed_ ' "-unfortunately it will not be happening. You see, the team assignments from the academy were revised, and the finalized teams will be made effective in a week, which happens to be the recovery time that Doctor Hamna here gives you."

The doctor beside Hiruzen gave Naruto a reproachful look, which the blonde responded to with a cheeky grin, before turning towards Anko and speaking in a professional tone.

"You got stabbed through the intestine, and the released bacteria flooded your bloodstream and resulted in a blood infection. Had Uzumaki-san taken just a few hours more than he did, it's likely that you would've died."

That caused a question to pop into Anko's head, prompting her to turn towards Naruto, before speaking up.

" _How_ did you get me here anyway? How is it that we're both alive if the old man managed to beat you as well?"

Naruto's grin dimmed at that, as he spoke up.

"I… heal really fast. I woke up a couple of hours after that whole clusterfuck, sent a clone to our hotel room to get your stuff, used the gauze and disinfectant spray from your first aid kit on my wound and then I flooded my body with as much of _that_ power as I could in order to make it here as fast as possible. Spent a full day without being able to move as much as a muscle. Bathroom breaks were… awkward."

The purplette nodded in understanding at that, before asking another thing that was in her mind.

"What about our mission?"

She saw Naruto biting his lower lip, while Hiruzen answered.

"Your mission was, after having been bumped up to A-rank, marked as successful."

"But how?"

Naruto let out a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair, before answering.

"Before we left, I made two clones. The first one made for the hotel room to get our stuff, the second one went back to inform the mayor of the fact that we failed the mission. But when I got there, the people from their village that had been missing were all back home with their families. Old man said that some Yakuza guy with green hair delivered them all, and said that their boss considered me the reason for their safe return."

Anko didn't miss the low ' _punch his smug old face in_ ' that Naruto said under his breath, Sweatdropping at it, before speaking up again.

"Well… That's unfortunate. But the fact that he has a different team doesn't mean that I have to stop meeting up with blondie, now does it? We'll just have to train ourselves into the ground during his off hours."

Hiruzen smiled softly at that, nodding in agreement, before bidding the two recovering ninja in the room goodbye and walking away.

As he was about to take a step past the door's threshold, Naruto spoke up in an unusually serious tone.

"We'll be having a serious talk about the legacy of number four, old man."

Hiruzen stiffened almost imperceptibly, gave a stiff nod, and then continued to walk away from the room.

Anko, seeing Naruto's look, decided not to ask any questions.

The doctor cleared her throat in order to both dispel the heavy mood hanging around the room and to get the attention of both her patients, giving the two of them a chastising look as she spoke.

"I swear, it seems like I've been getting all of the most infuriating patients lately! First I had to deal with Maito-san wanting to do his insane work outs with a concussion, then his mini-me joins him and the two proceed to try to traumatize the nurses in the room, then I get Mr. 'What the hell is medical school' over there that, for all intents and purposes, should still be in bed with the majority of his body's musculature shredded, but he goes and spits on everything I learnt about anatomy and is doing pushups in under 48 hours.

Now you already want to go for a hardcore training session despite the fact that you _just came out of a medically induced coma_! How did you even manage to stand back on your own feet? The morphine shouldn't be out of your system yet!"

Naruto and Anko looked at each other, shrugged, before turning towards the doctor and giving her a massive pair of grins that had the medic ready to strangle them, face palm and rip out her hair all at once.

She responded by heaving a sigh, before speaking in an annoyed tone.

"Mitarashi-san, back to your bed. Uzumaki-san, no more defying of conventional medicine."

The two grinned wider, before Naruto responded by Jumping out Anko's bedroom window.

Before Anko could follow suit, she found herself wrapped up in her bed sheets and tied down to her bed so thoroughly she couldn't even try to move a limb. Looking towards the doctor in awe, she felt a sense of danger at the image of the woman tilting her glasses upwards, the glare of the light blocking sight of her eyes in a sinister manner.

"Shiori."

A brown-haired nurse, seemingly around 16 in age dropped from the ceiling, kneeling in front of her boss the same way an ANBU would in front of the Hokage.

"Yes, Doctor Hama?"

"Make sure that Uzumaki-san does not escape."

The teen nodded a that, mumbling out a low ' _Hai!_ ' before vanishing in a cloud of smoke. Anko could only sweatdrop at that, before asking.

"Who the hell are you really, Doctor?"

The woman focused back on Anko, the light reflecting eerily off of her glasses as she answered.

"Someone with high enough clearance to access both yours and Uzumaki-san's medical records, despite your individual… peculiarities."

Anko whistled loudly at that.

"The old man must really trust you, huh…"

"Well" the voice of Naruto startled Anko, causing her to look over towards the window, seeing the Shiori girl carrying a trussed and bundled up Naruto over her shoulder as if he were a sack of potatoes "She also happens to be the village's best user of rope binding techniques, the mistress of restraints, and secretly a sadist."

"I'M NOT A SADIST YOU IMPUDENT-"

The woman took a deep breath to center herself, annoyed at how easily Naruto managed to get under her skin, before refocusing on him.

"As I was saying, you leave only when I allow you to, Uzumaki-san."

"But hospitals are soooooo boring!" the blonde whined, before surprising Anko and Shiori by managing to wiggle his way out of the cocoon of rope and wire, jumping out the window again with a mad cackle.

Anko blinked owlishly twice, before speaking up.

"How did he-"

"He's running away, Shiori."

"He's impossible to pin down, Hama-sensei! Every time I manage to capture him, he manages to escape! He's even shedding his bindings faster and faster!"

"Uzumaki-san improves by doing. If there is any weakness in your bindings, he will escape. That means…"

"That I have to make sure that my bindings are flawless. Thank you for your counsel, Hama-sensei."

Shiori followed that up by jumping out the window, chasing after the blonde.

Anko could only sweatdrop at that, annoyed for having been ignored, but amused by the situation in general. When she finally managed to shake off her amused thoughts, she found herself alone in her room.

Bound to the beds frame.

By an apparent mistress of all things S&M.

Great.

 _ **-A few minutes later-**_

Team 8, currently lead by Yuuhi Kurenai and composed by Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata and Inuzuka Kiba, could only stare at the scene that was happening in front of them with wide open jaws.

'What is this scene?' I hear you readers asking. Well, the scene was none other than that of a cackling blonde clad in a white robe running away from a teen dressed as a nurse.

Who happened to be carrying around… rope _, a straitjacket and a riding crop_?

While Hinata was torn between giggling perversely at the images that her mind conjured, and shouting indignantly at the injustice of her not being the one to- … I mean, of Naruto being chased around like that by some perverted floozy in cosplay, the rest of her team had no idea about how to deal with the scene.

Kurenai felt a surge of anger directed towards Kakashi who was probably the one to have corrupted the boy, causing the cyclops to shiver in terror even as he watched his two genin, Sasuke and Sakura, sweating like pigs as they ripped out weeds from a man's garden.

Kiba felt a mix of envy and relief at the fact that he wasn't the one being chased by a crazy BDSM chick.

Shino simply adjusted his shades, his face impassive as ever, though his bugs seemed to be buzzing at a slightly higher speed.

"STOP RIGHT THIS INSTANT, UZUMAKI-SAN!"

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, SHIORI!"

That sentence was followed up on by crazed cackling.

Team 8 seriously needed some time off after this.

 _ **~oOo~**_

"Hello, Naruto-kun."

"Old man."

Hiruzen winced at the frosty tone that Naruto spoke to him with. Two days had passed since the talk in Anko's hospital room, and finally, after playing cat and mouse with Dr. Hama's nurse, the blonde had been given leave.

After spending a full day checking over his office for any hidden seals, plants or spies, Hiruzen had finally sent one of his few trusted ANBU to summon Naruto to his office. The blonde had arrived to his office, glowered at the picture of his successor/predecessor, Minato, and then sat down across from him, his arms crossed.

Before Hiruzen could say a thing, Naruto leaned forward, bracing both hands on top of the old Hokage's desk, before speaking up.

"I want to know why, old man. Why did you hide this from me? Why did I have to hear about my parentage from the mouth of an enemy? Why is it that you keep hiding shit from me?"

Hiruzen sighed deeply, his age showing on his features as he spoke.

"Naruto, your parentage had to be kept a secret. Your parents made enemies that-"

"Bullshit! That's not the answer to the question that I asked. I know that making my parentage stupid is a move as stupid as making my Jinchuuriki status known."

That barb caused Hiruzen to wince, hard. Naruto, not caring about that, kept speaking up.

"I want to know why you hid my parentage from _me_."

The blonde followed this up by slamming both hands on the desk top, leaning over forwards and locking his gaze on Hiruzen's, his blue eyes blazing intensely as he spoke.

"How could you look a _6-year-old orphan_ in the eye and _lie l_ ike that? You didn't even have the decency to say something like 'I'll tell you when you're older' or some other bullshit like that. You _lied_ , just like you did when I asked you why people always whispered, glared at or completely ignored me in the streets. Why did you do it?"

"I… You…"

Hiruzen sighed heavily at that, looking away in order to not have to see the look of pain and betrayal in Naruto's eyes, leaning back into his chair and trying to compose himself, organizing his thoughts in order to get an answer for Naruto.

He already had an answer, but he was afraid to how the blonde would react to it. He knew how his mother would have reacted were it her in the boy's seat, and it would've been bad. Real bad. He could only hope Naruto had more Minato in him than just his appearance.

Steeling himself, Hiruzen straightened in his chair, taking a fortifying breath, before speaking up.

"The reason is mature. I wanted you to learn this when you were older and more mature, so that you wouldn't lash out as you are or create an image of Minato that doesn't exist, and does not speak of the real him. I wanted you to learn more of him through the people who truly knew him first."

"…In other words, you tried to manipulate me into having a certain opinion of him, so that I could simply shrug off the fact that he chose to make me into a Jinchuuriki when I did learn of both my burden and parentage. Is that what you're saying?"

"OF COURSE NOT! I WOULD NEVER-"

"But it's exactly what you were doing. You had no real reason to keep that information from me. It provided no strategic advantage for Konoha, I wouldn't run around the village spouting out that information if you made me understand the need for secrecy in this matter, and had me promise not to expose it until I was older and stronger. There were absolutely zero valid reasons for my parentage to be kept from me, other than making sure that I didn't even think ill of the 'hero of the leaf'."

Hiruzen found himself speechless for a second, his lips flapping uselessly, before he tried to push a sound out his throat.

"Naruto, I… Minato wasn't… Your father-"

"Chose to make me into a Jinchuuriki, despite knowing of the lives they live. He was a genius, everyone knows this. He used a sacrifice jutsu to make his own child into one of the most hated and reviled entities to exist in shinobi history. There's no explaining this away, old man. No amount of rationalization will change this fact."

"HE WANTED YOU TO BE SEEN AS A HERO! He wished for you to live a life full of love, with the village seeing you as their hero and protector! For them to know that you kept the village safe with each breath you took!"

"…So he chose to make his own child into a sacrifice, but he wanted rid himself of that guilt by trying to make me into some sort of heroic figure for holding the Kyuubi in me. Thing is, the Kyuubi had just finished devastating whole sectors of the village and kill thousands. He knew of this, he probably knew how the populace would react, yet he chose to do what he did regardless."

Hiruzen didn't have a response to that, feeling only a sense of simultaneous pain and numbness in his soul at how disappointed Naruto sounded in Minato, how disillusioned he was with the fourth, the man who had been his hero and idol for the majority of his life.

Not giving Hiruzen any respite, Naruto kept speaking.

"If you're so keen on defending him, old man, then answer me this: Were it you in his place, what would you have done? Would you have made Asuma or Konohamaru into a Jinchuuriki, knowing that he would live a life of hatred and loneliness, or would you have sealed the entirety of the fox with you with your suicide jutsu?"

That was a logical point. A very valid, logical and well thought out point, which just made Hiruzen feel worse. He believed Naruto to just be lashing out, and that he'd see things differently when he calmed down from the discovery, but with him having thought things through to a degree that not even he nor Jiraiya had… It showed that Naruto wasn't just being a moody teen.

He had actual reason to dislike Minato, and that saddened him. He couldn't even imagine how he'd feel if Asuma said the same things about him as Naruto was about Minato.

 _ **-Naruto's POV, the same moment-**_

Naruto was having a hard time dealing with this situation. While outwardly he was as calm and rational as any child his age had the right to be, inwardly his emotions were all over the place. He felt betrayed. His own father consigned him to the life he lived. His own grandfather figure kept things from him and tried to manipulate him. Both his heroes had done him a great disservice.

He decided to figure out just how deep the betrayal went.

"Enough about the fourth. What about my mother? Who was she? Why isn't she present? Did she look at me and see the death of her husband? Did she abandon me because of that?"

"OF COURSE NOT! KUSHINA WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

' _So her name is Kushina…_ '

"Then what happened to her?"

"Kushina, she… She passed away during the attack."

"…I see."

"No, Naruto, you do not. In order for you to understand what truly happened, you'll have to learn more about the events that led up to that night."

Naruto met the old man's gaze and nodded, prompting him to proceed.

Hiruzen started with a question.

"Naruto… What do you know of Senju Hashirama?"

"…He was the Shodaime Hokage and one of the founders of the village, alongside Uchiha Madara. He possessed a Kekkei Genkai, which was the _**Mokuton**_ (Wood Release). He fought Uchiha Madara in what is now known as the valley of the end, creating the waterfall that now exists there. Older brother of Senju Tobirama, the second Hokage, teacher of Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage, and grandfather of Senju Tsunade, one of the Sannin."

"…Correct, but not complete. There are a few facts that you left out, but the two most relevant to this discussion are that the Kyuubi was a participant in the battle between Madara and Hashirama-sensei, and that Hashirama-sensei was married to a woman named Uzumaki Mito."

Naruto's eyes widened at that information, while Hiruzen kept speaking, his eyes lightly glazed as he searched through his memory banks for the relevant information.

"Mito-sama was part of the Uzumaki clan, a clan that shared a common ancestor with the Senju clan before they decided to split from them and create their own nation, in order to not be involved in the conflicts of the Warring States Period. The creation of their nation, Uzu, was said to be one of the factors that inspired Hashirama-sensei and Madara to create Konoha, which gave origin to this whole village system.

The Uzumaki clan was very well known, revered and, in some places, reviled, for their nigh-inhuman longevity, their very strong life force, immense chakra, and their prowess in the art of fuuinjutsu. More than small amount of them were also very accomplished Kenjutsu users and sensors. These skills made them a force to be reckoned with, which led to Iwa, Kiri and Kumo forming an alliance to wipe them out, starting the third Great Shinobi War.

But that is for later.

As I had said, the Kyuubi was a participant in the battle between Hashirama-sensei and Uchiha Madara, put under the thrall of Madara via his Sharingan. Hashirama-sensei fought the two of them off for the most part, but when the damage started piling up much too high, Mito-sama showed up in at the battlefield and sealed the fox within herself, allowing Hashirama-sensei to finish the battle against his rival.

Thus, the first Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi was to be.

Many years later, before the destruction of Uzu and the start of the third war, a second Jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi was selected by Mito-sama. She felt herself going on in the years, and decided that it was time to pass the torch on to the next generation. She selected a young girl of her own clan, and she was brought to Konoha in order for the Hokage at the time to oversee the process.

The one chosen to be the second host of the Kyuubi was a feisty young girl by the name of Kushina, and the reasons why she was chosen were twofold.

First was the fact that the Kyuubi's chakra was strong. Extremely so. In fact, it is so strong that only an individual of Uzumaki descent can take the strain of the fox's chakra running through their system at a constant rate, as was usual for most Jinchuuriki.

Second was the fact that Kushina happened to possess a very rare trait. She was capable of manifesting thick, powerful chains off of her extremely dense chakra, a technique she named _**Kongō Fūsa**_ (Adamantine Sealing Chains). These chains were powerful enough to subdue even the Kyuubi at full strength. For those reasons she was chosen as the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi.

Mito-sama and Kushina-chan were left to rest here in Konoha after the transfer, since it wasn't easy on either of their bodies, despite the Uzumaki heritage, but it was during that time period that Uzushio, the Uzumaki village in the whirlpool country, was destroyed.

After having recovered from the extraction, Mito-sama was informed of this event. With her heart broken by it, and believing herself incapable of caring for Kushina as she should, Mito-sama faded into obscurity. Her death is still unconfirmed as of this moment.

Kushina, well, despite the fact that she never forgot about her home country, she managed to move on with her life. She joined the Konoha academy, and after a series of events she befriended one of her classmates, an orphan named Minato, who chose to the name Namikaze as his own family name.

The years passed, and the two became more than friends, though they chose to keep that fact a secret because of Minato's growing popularity. Although mostly extroverted and outspoken, Kushina was private about things like those, and Minato was absolutely whip- smitten with Kushina, so he couldn't deny her wish.

Time moved on, Minato was chosen to be the fourth Hokage, the two got married, and then Minato took the seat. Very little time after that, some of their closest friends were surprised by the announcement of Kushina's pregnancy. She all but retired from public view at that point, and they lived those months in constant bliss.

I can still remember how Kushina would rant and rave about how much of a 'manly badass' her little Naru would grow up to be…

Something else that is pertinent to the conversation is the fact that during birth is when a female Jinchuuriki's seal is at its weakest…"

Naruto's eyes widened at that, before he whispered.

" _October 10_ _th_ _… My birthday…"_

Hiruzen nodded at that, before he continued speaking.

"Just like her pregnancy, Kushina's birth was kept secret to all but few. My wife was chosen as the midwife, to deliver the baby, while a few trusted ANBU of Minato's were chosen as their guards. I can't tell you everything that happened that night, I can only tell you that somehow, someone with less than good intentions managed to learn of both the fact that Kushina was close to delivery, and the secret area away from the village that had been chosen to perform the delivery in.

Other than Minato, Kushina and you, everyone that was supposed to be there were found as corpses, with their throats cut open.

The fact that the Kyuubi suddenly showed up in Konoha, instead of emerging at the site of Kushina's delivery or near that area speaks to me of enemy action. That is corroborated by the fact that Minato didn't show up instantly to ward off the Kyuubi. My belief is that there was a battle of some sort, which is backed up by the few impact craters, chakra burns and Paper bomb residue a short distance away from the sealing spot.

I don't know who it could have been, or how they could have done it, however.

The last thing I found at the sealing spot was an image as tragic as it was beautiful. Your parents, in their last legs, sporting massive wounds to their torso matching those of a gigantic claw, had taken each side of your baby self. Even as they lay there, dying, they could only look upon you with happy, proud smiles, knowing that their child would grow up to be a great person, doing great things."

While Hiruzen had a few tears rolling down his face, Naruto was stone-faced, his fist clenched tightly as his shoulders shook. A sob managed to make its way past his lips, before his face hardened further, prompting Hiruzen to favor the boy that he loved as blood with a sad, understanding smile.

While Naruto tried to force down another sob, Hiruzen walked around his desk, and pulled the boy into a tight hug.

He felt the boy tremble harder at that, sniffs emerging from his nose as small whimpers managed to crawl up his throat and pry his lips apart.

At that moment he wasn't Uzumaki Naruto, Jinchuuriki of Kurama the Nine-tailed fox, student of Mitarashi Anko, maker of friends, breaker of enemies, the nightmare of all ANBU and the interrogation and information extraction prodigy.

He was just Uzumaki Naruto, the hurt, sad 12 year old orphan, who wished for nothing more than to hear the voice of his mother lulling him to sleep. To climb onto his father's shoulders and look down at the world from a new perspective.

To have his mother wake him up with a kiss to the forehead, to have his father check his closet and under his bed for monsters. To have his parents celebrate his birthday with him.

To hear them say-

"They love you, Naruto. No matter what happens, no matter what you do. Whether you choose to be a shinobi or a baker, whether you choose to stay in the village or leave, whether you become a hero or the enemy of the world, they will always love you.

And seeing the person that you are, a hardworking young man who always does his best, and who goes beyond his limits to protect whoever he holds dear… They'd be proud of you, Naruto."

Tears welled up deeply in Naruto's eyes, despite how hard he tried to keep them away. His body shook freely, wracked by sobs, as a deep wail emerged from his mouth, reverberating throughout the walls of the office.

That day, Naruto cried like he never had before. Like he seldom allowed himself to, throughout his entire life. He cried in the knowledge that even in their last moments, his parents chose to show their love for him, despite the fact that his birth was the cause of the entire situation.

Hiruzen looked towards the row of pictures of the previous Hokage, seeing an odd, reflective glint coming from Minato's picture that made it seem as if the picture itself was crying. He could only smile tearfully at that.

' _Truly, you are their child, Naruto._ '

 _ **~oOo~**_

It was a day like any other in the village of Konoha. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Maito Gai was challenging Kakashi to… something.

In a normal day like this, Ino had the bright idea of inviting the other genin teams to eat out at Yakiniku-Q, _the_ place that one went to eat barbecue at the village.

Chouji, not one to pass out on tasty food at good prices, agreed, while Shikamaru, like always, was dragged into it by the troublesome blonde that was Ino. She had invited Sakura and Sasuke, and Sakura had accepted on their behalf, if only to show Ino how much closer she had gotten to Sasuke after the long amounts of time they spent together as the only members of team 7, with a borderline neglectful sensei.

It _wasn't_ as close as she wished they were… It wasn't close at all, period, but Ino didn't know that! She could at least pretend…

Kiba had accepted for the fact that he had a chance to show up that bastard Sasuke. Probably. Maybe. Shino had said something about 'it being logical that as members of the same graduation class they gained familiarity with each other to ensure a functional degree of teamwork in any possible eventuality' before adjusting his glasses, which Shikamaru translated to the others as a yes, and Hinata was prompted to go by her teammates, as an attempt to help her emerge from her shell.

As they made their way towards the restaurant, they all spotted a spot of bright orange at the edge of their vision. They collectively turned around, a reflex that everyone in the village had ingrained into them by Naruto ( _after all, a quiet Naruto is a pranking Naruto, and that was a bad thing for whoever was the victim_ ), only to spot the blonde, clad in a long-sleeved black shirt, orange zip-up, hooded vest, and burnt orange shorts with a red trim, his hands in his pockets as he made his way around the village.

Oddly enough, they couldn't catch sight of his forehead protector anywhere in his person.

"Yo Naruto!"

The blonde stopped mid-step, turning towards the group of genin from his graduation class, before giving them his usual sunny grin as he made his way towards them.

"Hey! How're you guys doing?"

Hinata blushed deeply, as was the norm while around Naruto, while Ino and Sakura twisted their noses at Naruto's clothing. The rest of the group just favored the blonde with their own greetings, with the exception of mister sunshine himself who gave the patented Uchiha grunt.

Ino, being the budding fashionista and still not completely over the fact that Naruto had shut her down so completely in the past ( _though the fact that he was now a hottie, and that he got punishment via crazy snake lady mitigated that_ ) decided to get her digs in.

"Ugh, I thought you had outgrown that look already! You're regressing, Naruto. We don't need to worry about you shouting to all and sundry about you being Hokage, do we?"

To everyone's surprise, Naruto responded to that by chuckling, before answering.

"What's wrong with my clothing?"

"It's orange." Ino and Sakura deadpanned simultaneously.

Naruto shrugged, before answering.

"I'm on break, so I'm wearing my civvies. After all, my work clothes may follow a set style, but my regular clothes are different, and varied. I presume the same is true with all of you, after all, it'd be _really_ weird if you wore the same thing every single day.

I mean, it isn't like anyone buys like, 30 pairs of the same clothes, right?"

All of the others sweatdropped at that, even Shino, knowing that that was exactly what they, and really most other shinobi did.

It really _was_ weird, looking at things that way.

Shrugging that off, Kiba spoke up again.

"Hey, we're all heading towards Yakiniku-Q for a bite, wanna come with?"

Having nothing better to do, already having paid his daily visit to Anko at the hospital, and to Makino in her cell in the ANBU prison - though it'd be more fitting to call it a hotel room than anything else ( _hey, Naruto delivers on his promises, and he promised her comfort, goddamnit!_ ) – Naruto accepted their invitation, making small talk with Kiba for the entirety of their walk towards the restaurant.

They sat down together at a booth, having just enough space to do so, before the second most unexpected person to have done so, spoke up.

"What happened, dobe? Why're you on leave?"

With the exception of Shino and Naruto, almost everyone showed surprise at Sasuke speaking up.

 _(Hinata glared at Sasuke just for a nanosecond, causing a chill to go down his spine, though only Shino noticed it)._

"Well…" Naruto started, rubbing his chin in thought, before speaking in a questioning tone "Mission gone wrong, I guess?"

Sakura smirked smugly at that, still being angry at the fact that Naruto humiliated her in front of their entire graduation class, that he wasn't forced to participate in the glorified chores Kakashi called missions and suffer with them, and that he apparently got to choose his own teacher, before speaking up in a mocking tone.

"Oh, what happened? Did you pull your back while plucking weeds? Get bit by the dogs you were walking? Or were you just that bad at carrying groceries?"

"Plucking weeds? Walking dogs? Carrying groceries?" Naruto asked in genuine surprise, looking around the booth before asking "You guys did all of these things?"

That took the wind out of Sakura's sails, replacing the smug satisfaction by a sense of confused curiosity that was mirrored by everyone else in their group. Chouji was the one to answer that.

"Well… Yeah. They're D-ranks. You mean that you did no D-ranks?"

"Nope. My teacher said that those were useless, so we went with something of a higher tier."

"Oh man, are you saying that you did a C-rank already?" came from Kiba.

"Not really…"

Everyone relaxed at that, before Naruto continued his thought.

"It was a B-rank."

Everyone froze at that, while the blonde started scratching his chin pensively, his tone getting absentminded as he thought out loud.

"… But it _did_ get bumped up to A-rank afterwards… Does it count as it started, or as the records say?"

Further shock filled everyone else there, before two people slammed their hands on the table simultaneously, before shouting out.

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO D-RANKS?" came from Ino.

"STOP LYING, BAKA! THEY WOULDN'T GIVE YOU THESE MISSIONS IF THEY HAVEN'T GIVEN THEM TO SASUKE-KUN YET!" came, predictably, from Sakura.

Blinking owlishly, Naruto looked back towards the speakers, before responding.

"In order: No, and why would I need to lie to you?"

Before the girls could show outrage at Naruto's responses, Shikamaru spoke up.

"This mission of yours… Is it because of something that happened during it that you're on break?"

Naruto turned his gaze towards Shikamaru, before answering.

"Yeah, bad shit happened."

While Sakura fumed, delivering a monologue about the injustices visited upon her _lord and savi-_ the love of her life, _Sasuke-kun_ , everyone else focused on Naruto, wanting to know what happened during his mission either out of curiosity, worry, or a mixture of both.

Surprising everyone present, it was Hinata who asked the question.

"A-ano… Wh-what happened, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto let out a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair and pushing his free bangs away from his face, inadvertently causing a net increase of 40% in the amount of estrogen flowing through the barbecue joint, before answering.

"Anko-sensei and I were sent to investigate some missing people in a town that was said to be occasionally frequented by Yakuza members, but we ended up uncovering a slaving ring. We crashed a slave auction and dealt with most of the guards present, and even some of the Yakuza, but we ended up opposed by this old mob boss. Turns out, dude was a dishonorably discharged Kumo-nin and veteran of the second and third wards that fought both old man Third, and the Fourth, and lived to tell the tale.

He took down my sensei, before absolutely demolishing me."

Naruto's tone turned slightly somber at this.

"I gave it my all, and the old man toyed around with me as if I were an academy student. Well, I was an academy student just a few weeks ago, so that's not much of an insult, but… You get what I mean. Turns out, the old dude wasn't a total asshole as I thought and showed up at the auction in order to stop it as well, or something along those lines. _Could've told me that before trying to cut me open, though._ "

Ino gulped at that, asking in a hesitant tone.

"C-cut you open?"

Naruto responded by zipping down his vest before lifting his shirt, revealing his torso, and the deep scar running from slightly below his sternum to the upper portion of his left shoulder.

His shirt lift also had the effect of causing the level of estrogen in the air to rise by another 40%, bringing it to 80% of the original amount. More than a few women were giving Naruto speculative looks, with others openly ogling them.

Ino was torn between worrying about him ( _It might be Naruto, but he was still a classmate after all._ ), and drooling over him. Sakura's brain seemed to have frozen, unable to process the thought that _Naruto_ , of all people, looked _hot_.

Her processors pushed themselves to the max, trying to find any possible way to rationalize that thought away and not have to add _Hot_ to her mental folder concerning one Uzumaki Naruto ( _Other results in a search for Uzumaki Naruto would lead to the terms loud, clueless, annoying, insufferable, and orange_ ) , causing her to blue screen.

Hinata's ears had let off a massive cloud of steam, and the only thing preventing her from having a nosebleed was the fact that the blood chose to manifest as a tomato-red blush from the tips of her hair to her chest, otherwise she would've gotten one to put Kakashi, Iruka and Hiruzen to shame, all at the same time.

Kiba was torn between being jealous at Naruto's physique, and awed at the battle scar that proved him a survivor, a symbol of strength in his clan.

Shikamaru and Chouji were feeling thoroughly outclassed by the blonde, and decided to compensate by focusing even more on their obsessions, food and laziness.

Shino was inwardly cackling at the fact that he had a solid workout plan that sculpted his own body nicely as well… Though adding a few more reps to his crunches would be a good idea. Nothing to do with Naruto's display, at all. Promise.

Obliviously shrugging off everyone's reactions to his physique, Naruto lowered his shirt again, causing a wave of dissatisfaction and whines to flow through the eatery, before focusing back on his companions.

"He got me good, old bastard. I'll sock him a good one next time we meet."

"Fight me."

Everyone's heads whipped towards Sasuke after he said that, with Naruto responding in almost instantly.

"…Hah?"

"I said fight me, dobe! Or are you scared?"

The Uchiha deliberately gave Naruto the cockiest grin he could muster, knowing that it used to drive the blonde up the walls during their academy days, expecting him to accept the challenge in order to try and show just how much he had progressed sinc-

"No, thank you."

"What."

Well, that wasn't what Sasuke expected.

"What? Why?"

Uchiha Sasuke did not whine, and whoever said he did was a liar. A filthy, filthy liar, whose pants deserved to be on fire, and probably would actually get put on fire; Sasuke was really good at Fire jutsu after all.

"Well, aside from the fact that I wouldn't get anything valuable out of sparring with you at this moment, _what with me watching you train nearly every day and knowing your moves in and out_ " – that last part was said in a whisper, and you probably can understand why – "my doctor told me that I wasn't allowed to."

The male blonde of the group sighed tiredly, his shoulders slumping sadly as he spoke.

"I can't even train properly nowadays. She said that I can't go beyond 5 sets during my work outs!"

Feeling a sense of trepidation as he did, Shikamaru decided to ask the most important question at the moment.

"How… many reps exactly do you do per set?"

Naruto answered in a despondent tone.

"1500."

 _Cue collective blue screen of death._

Shikamaru was the first one to recover from it, speaking up weakly.

"Fif-1500 reps?"

"Yup."

Kiba was the next one.

"She _restricted_ you to _5_ sets of those?"

"Yes! It's horrible, right?"

Sasuke, surprisingly, was the one to speak up next.

"Because you were limited to 5 sets of 1500 per exercise type, _you're sad_?"

"YES! I am limited to only 7500 reps for each major muscle group until next week! So much lost work-out time! _**HOW UNYOUTHFUL!**_ "

Everyone else at the booth felt a chill of terror at the final two words, with Kurama foaming out of the mouth inside the seal at the flash of green that invaded that space.

 _ **-Elsewhere, Team Gai-**_

"G-Gai-sensei! Did you feel that?"

"Indeed I did, Lee, my prized pupil!"

"T-that much Youth, being produced by someone other than you, Gai-sensei!"

"Yes! It seems someone else in the village has a natural sensitivity to the forces of **YOUTH**! We must find our youthful brethren, and share upon our unmitigated flames of youthfulness! We shall blaze like the sun, spreading our youthful light upon the whole world!"

Gai followed that up by giving his _Nice Guy Pose_ ™, causing Lee to look at him with unmitigated admiration. Rivers of tears streamed from his eyes as he shouted out loud.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

Gai, the youthful blue beast of Konoha, also found himself streaming youthful rivers of manly tears, responding to his pupil in kind.

"LEE-KUN!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE-KUN!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE-KUN!"

They followed that up by clutching to each other in the _**MANLIEST**_ of the _**YOUTHFUL**_ embraces, causing the view of a rocky beach being buffeted by the ocean to emerge behind the two of them, the setting sun illuminating the scene in a dramatic manner.

A few meters away from the two of them, Tenten balked and Neji banged his head against a tree, crying inwardly as they asked themselves why they got such a weird team.

" _It seems that fate, once again, was a cruel mistress_." Were the pessimistic thoughts of Hyuuga Neji.

 _ **-?-**_

Somewhere way up high in the sky, a totally bodacious babe clad only in a crop top and daisy dukes with a sash with the word " _ **FATE**_ " embroidered into it could only shake her head at the Hyuuga boy. She hadn't ever interfered in his life!

If he kept following this direction, she might just schedule an entire war just to make sure that he died!

 _ **-Back to Yakiniku-Q-**_

"Oh."

Naruto pushed his hand into his vest pocket, pulling out a pocket watch, before he jumped to his feet in urgency.

"Shit, I was scheduled for something important today! Seeyouguyslaterbye!"

And just like that, Naruto dashed out of the eatery.

Before anyone could complain about him eating and not paying his part, the blonde rushed back into the restaurant, slammed a handful of Ryo notes on top of the table, and then took off again.

Everyone else traded looks, before unanimously deciding to ignore the events that happened that day, at that booth.

 _ **~oOo~**_

It was a day like any other in the village of Konoha. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Maito Gai was challenging Kakashi to… something.

In a normal day like this, one Uzumaki Naruto could be found whistling merrily as he made his way into the ANBU dungeons, with screams of terror coming from each cell and interrogation room as they heard his cheerful tone.

The workers of the T&I department tried to get as close to him as possible without actually touching him, the level of reverence shown to a 12 year old going beyond what most show to even religious figures.

Some even tried to catch fleeting touches of the blonde, believing that their interrogation talents would be blessed by him.

It was in a sunny, joyful, normal day like this that Kakenase Marufoshi shat himself when he saw the _blonde terror_ himself stepping into the interrogation room he was confined to.

It was a day like any other in the village of Konoha…

 _ **-Chapter, End!-**_


	11. Author status update!

Okay, I know this isn't what you wanted to read when you finally saw an update to my story, but unfortunately reality isn't often what we wish it were.

I wished this could have been a new chapter. I really do. My... Literary muscles, as it were, are screaming for a workout. Updates for both this story, uzumaki chronicles, the other HP fics I wrote, and even new NGE, RWBY and My Hero Academia stories.

The thing is, I'm currently lacking a computer. One of the physical components in my computer fried, and I've been dealing with it for a while now unsuccessfully.

"But FrancoGamerxz, what about the device you're currently on? Couldn't you update from there? "

The answers to those questions are, first, my phone, and second, hell no!

I find it unbearable to type on a phone, it,'S slow, clunky, and the lack of sound and feedback from the keyboard bother me too much and inhibit the creative juices. I tried writing a new chapter on a borrowed tablet, but I just couldn't , proverbially speaking, "get it up". So, I'm paralyzed on the updating front for now, but as soon as my fingers touch a keyboard, expect plentiful updates.

Thank you for your time and attention.


	12. A Boy and His Fox

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE!**

 _ **-Mindscape-**_

" **I expected you to come by earlier than this.** "

"..."

Kurama calmly observed Naruto from within his cage as the blond seemed to try to get his thoughts in order, a furrow in his brow giving away the fact. Seemingly regaining his wits, Naruto responded.

"I wanted to get my shit together before talking to you. Both of us know that me ranting and raving at you to vent my frustrations would achieve nothing."

 **"Pretty mature of you, brat. Colour me impressed. But enough banter, I'm sure you have questions.** "

Naruto moved closer towards the cage, serious blue eyes meeting Kurama's orange-red, before he spoke.

"Tell me what happened that night. Please."

" **...I am not aware of everything that happened that night, for reasons that you'll learn of, but here's what I remember...** "

 _ **-October 10th, 12 years ago-**_

 _'_ _ **...**_ _'_

 _If anyone were to see Kurama right now, they'd see him almost vibrating in anticipation, but who could really blame him when the chains holding him to a flaming ball of molten rock felt looser and looser, giving him more slack than ever before to move?_

 _He knew that his Jinchuuriki was a female. He knew that she was pregnant. And due to his previous host, Mito, going through the same thing, he knew that she was about to give birth to another one of those annoying, hairless apes._

 _The best part? The girl's emotions where nowhere near as controlled as Mito's, which meant that, with the weakened seal, it'd be easier to try and influence her emotions without her noticing, possibly leading to further weakening of the seal._

 _'_ _ **Soon. Oh, so soon.**_ _'_

 _Less than 10 seconds after that thought Kurama felt all of the chains restraining him slacken all at once, allowing him to try pry himself away from the rock he was imprisoned against and force his way out of the seal..._

 _Only to find himself being suppressed by an external power, the outter 'gates' of the seal repelling him as the chains started glowing an intense blue, before shooting off from the rock and piercing through his tails, trying to reel him in. That, together with the gate's pushing, managed to block him off and re-attach him to his flaming prison, drawing a roar of absolute bestial rage from the Bijuu._

 _'_ _ **RAGHHHHHHHHHHH! RELEASE ME, WOMAN! SET ME FREE AND YOUR CHILD'S DEMISE SHALL BE QUICK AND PAINLESS!**_ _'_

 _In her recent post-natal state Kushina could barely understand what was being said around her in the real world, much less inside the seal, so Kurama's roars went unheard, further increasing his anger. However, it was nothing more than impotent rage as his prison protected his host._

 _Before his rage could subside and give way to despair, Kurama felt something that he did not expect to ever feel again._

 _'_ _ **Freedom.**_ _'_

 _It was an instantaneous thing, one second he was raging inside the void, the next one he was outside, feeling a crisp night wind on his fur, grass and dirt under his paws, and the ebb and flow of Chakra around him._

 _Regaining himself, Kurama decided to destroy his previous host to ensure he would not be further sealed, before escaping, however before he could do a thing, he was bombarded by a dark and twisted chakra, so full of hatred that it got close to only one other person he felt before._

 _It wasn't the same, no, it was much weaker, smaller in amount, but it was enough to cause Kurama to look at it in order to assess the threat..._

 _Only to be met by a red eye with spinning red comma within._

 _'_ _ **You motherfu-**_ _'_

 _And just like that, everything went blank for Kurama. One could even say that while the lights were on, there was no-one home. A few red-tinted flashes passed through his mind, trees felled, homes destroyed, squishy human bodies snapping, breaking and popping under his paws, before he came to in the middle of charging a bijuudama to shoot against a mountain with faces carved into it, an army of tiny humans arrayed around him feeling mostly defeat and despair at the sight._

 _Absentmindedly, the bijuu shot the condensed chakra sphere, only for the sight of... Well, it could only be described as a tear in the air itself... Surrounded in various characters one would expect to see in a seal that somehow wrote themselves into the air itself. Said tear then proceeded to swallow a fully-charged bijuudama._

 _That lead to a realization._

 _'_ _ **Not good! Not fucking good at all! If this place has someone with this level of sealing skill available, then they can probably seal me again! I have to trash this place!**_ _'_

 _With that thought in mind Kurama started charging a second bijuudama..._

 _Only for a massive toad to drop on top of his head, disrupting his focus and dispersing the built-up chakra. Panicking, Kurama tried to roll over and dislodge the toad even as he scratched and clawed at it, but while he did feel one of his claws strike true with a single gash, he did not manage to free himself before he could feel a sense of vertigo and nausea as he suddenly found himself transported to a different place._

 _The toad was no longer on top of him, but across him instead, a blond man riding atop it's head. Before Kurama could try to strike out at it, he was forced to roar in rage as he felt familiar blue chains wrapping themselves around him and knocking him to the ground, immobile._

 _He felt an absolutely unnatural chill pass through the clearing as if death itself had made it's presence known, before he felt a literally soul-wrenching pain as his power was halved, a purple hand covered in seal markings making itself seen after the act, leading to the blond man's stomach._

 _He almost crowed in victory at the knowledge that the blond idiot had just killed himself without succeeding in actually sealing him, before the cry of a child reached his ears, causing him to look down at a newborn babe..._

 _Which was in the middle of a sealing altar._

 _'_ _ **No... No! No! NO! I REFUSE TO BE SEALED AGAIN! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DO THIS!**_ _'_

 _The chains around one of his arms slackened for just an instant, and he decided to capitalize on it. Kurama could only watch with glee as his nail grew closer and closer to the child, destroying the only remaining person alive capable of hosting him, unlike the dying vixen..._

 _Only for his claw to register an unexpected level of resistance, and for his eyes to widen as they registered the sight of the two humans impaled on said claw, before the chain re-tightened around him. He saw the two humans speaking for a bit, but he heard nothing of what they said, his brain registering only the fact that he was going to be forced into another prison so soon._

 _He could do nothing more than roar impotently and curse the entire Line of Indra's descendants as he was shoved into the crying newborn, his vision blanking out during._

 _When it returned, it was to the sight of a set of infinitely tall bars in front of him, and what seemed like concrete walls surrounding him. And he could only seethe impotently as, once again, the freedom that was rightfully his was stolen._

 _ **-Now-**_

' **And those are pretty much that night's events.** '

"...I see."

The blonde let out a tired sight, turning his back towards the seal's bars and sliding down to the ground, his back propped up by one of said bars. Boy and Bijuu kept silent as each of them got their thoughts in order, Kurama trying to do his best not to dwell on such bad memories and emotions, and Naruto trying to analyze the events from as many angles as possible.

After a few seconds of silence, Naruto let out a sigh, before speaking.

"I... Fuck, everything's so complicated now! Before things were simple! I was just some naive kid dreaming of getting the Hat, ignoring the naysayers and saying 'screw you' to the hurdles put in my way. Now... Now I'm actually aware of things such as context, and nuance, and emotion. What am I supposed to feel now? I should feel mad at you. Angry! Livid even! You attacked the village! You tried to kill me when I was a baby... You even killed my parents!"

Kurama kept his silence, knowing that Naruto wasn't done yet.

"I should hate you, but... I don't. I know why you did it. I understand. I'd probably have done the same if I were in your position. I... Kurama, I feel horrible. Is not hating you a betrayal of my mom's memory? Of the people that died that night?"

' **...You're really something, kid, you know that? Someone else in your position would just ignore the other side of the issue, and push all the blame onto the "monster". It's easier to blindly hate than to understand.** '

Naruto snorted at that, before speaking up.

"You're one to talk. Somone else in your place would've held on to the anger and hatred. They would've used every opportunity to manipulate a dumb kid like me into freeing them. Instead, you helped me grow stronger, smarter. Why?"

' _Do not cry, Kurama. We, you and I, both knew that this day would come. The final rest comes for all. My only regret is to leave my children, all of them, to this unfair world of pain, grief and loss. I wish, more than anything else, that I managed to make this world let go of it's hatred. Alas, my time has come. My last requests for you, Kurama, are that you take care of your younger siblings... And that you do not give into hatred, no matter what._ '

' **...Let's say that I got tired of holding onto the hatred.** '

The two shared a brief silence, with Naruto contemplating Kurama's words, and Kurama giving a bittersweet smile as he remembered his father's words, and his soothing aura.

"So... where does this leave us?"

Kurama looked at the young blonde that had stood up and turned back towards him, his eyes covered by his bangs, as he answered.

' **That... Is entirely up to you, Naruto. Ignoring me, forcing my power away from me, locking me away, or whatever else... You get to choose.** '

"Then, I choose..."

Kurama was surprised to see Naruto stepping into his cage, his bangs shadowing his eyes as he did, before stopping in front of the massive - even while lying down - fox. The blond further surprised Kurama by raising his arm, his hand curled into a fist, before raising his head, revealing a confident smirk and a pair of eyes full of nothing other than honesty and determination.

"To call you my partner, and my friend, for the rest of my life... Kurama!"

The fox could have sworn he saw the outline of a taller, red-haired man in a white cloak, with purple, rippled eyes in Naruto's place, causing him to mimic Naruto's smirk even as he rose to his full height, before stretching out his own arm, his fist closed tightly, and lightly bumping it against the blond's.

' **Heh... It's a deal... Partner!** '

 _ **-Chapter, End!-**_

 _ **AN:**_ **Finally, I have returned! The Olde Pc was fixed, so I'm back to working on my writing! Hope you enjoy this chapter, which is simultaneously my attempt at shaking off the rust from the lack of practice, and an interlude before the next chapter of the story.**

 **You are free to leave me any sort of feedback (hopefully positive), be it in reviews, or in private messages. Arrivederci, for now!**


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